Hey, all.
This might be a ramble, so you have been forewarned. It's one of those kind of nights, and you'll see why in a minute.
I'm wondering if you can shed some light on something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I go through hours, days of feeling absolutely restless...like feeling the urge to get in the car and just GO. Just disappear. Or heading to a bar and drinking myself silly and then doing things I might regret in the morning...if I could remember them after all the alcohol.
It sometimes goes deeper than that, or branches out into other things. Like wanting to make love until I can't move. Or having rough sex, the kind of sex that leaves me bruised and sore. Or doing something reckless...like emptying out the bank account for a trip to the Virgin Islands. I would never actually DO that, but damn, it would feel great.
But it usually boils down to sex. Passion. All-out fucking. Pure, unadulterated and reckless sex.
I know part of it is that I'm finally healing from a broken relationship, and my sexual self is again waking up. (Finally!) And part of it is that I simply have been going through somewhat of a sexual drought. So...I know the reasons for the way I feel.
I just don't know how to quell or release those feelings!
See, I'm usually a very responsible person. On every level. But lately...dammit, I do not WANT to be responsible. I want to do something out of the blue, the kind of thing that makes my closest friends look at each other in shock and whisper, 'Sweet Jesus, did she just DO that?'
Don't get me wrong...I love my life. I love my children, my work...anyone who knows me knows that. So I'm not talking about the kind of restlessness that says I don't want those things. On the contrary! But it would feel so good, just for a little while, to absolutely let go and not worry about anything at all. And not have any regrets about it later.
So...my question, and I DO have one, somewhere...
I know I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way. How do you quench that thirst for recklessness without actually BEING reckless? How do you satisfy that desire to escape from yourself and your little part of the world?
When you just cannot handle being responsible ONE MORE MINUTE, how do you release?
Thanks in advance.
S.
This might be a ramble, so you have been forewarned. It's one of those kind of nights, and you'll see why in a minute.
I'm wondering if you can shed some light on something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I go through hours, days of feeling absolutely restless...like feeling the urge to get in the car and just GO. Just disappear. Or heading to a bar and drinking myself silly and then doing things I might regret in the morning...if I could remember them after all the alcohol.
It sometimes goes deeper than that, or branches out into other things. Like wanting to make love until I can't move. Or having rough sex, the kind of sex that leaves me bruised and sore. Or doing something reckless...like emptying out the bank account for a trip to the Virgin Islands. I would never actually DO that, but damn, it would feel great.
But it usually boils down to sex. Passion. All-out fucking. Pure, unadulterated and reckless sex.
I know part of it is that I'm finally healing from a broken relationship, and my sexual self is again waking up. (Finally!) And part of it is that I simply have been going through somewhat of a sexual drought. So...I know the reasons for the way I feel.
I just don't know how to quell or release those feelings!
See, I'm usually a very responsible person. On every level. But lately...dammit, I do not WANT to be responsible. I want to do something out of the blue, the kind of thing that makes my closest friends look at each other in shock and whisper, 'Sweet Jesus, did she just DO that?'
Don't get me wrong...I love my life. I love my children, my work...anyone who knows me knows that. So I'm not talking about the kind of restlessness that says I don't want those things. On the contrary! But it would feel so good, just for a little while, to absolutely let go and not worry about anything at all. And not have any regrets about it later.
So...my question, and I DO have one, somewhere...
I know I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way. How do you quench that thirst for recklessness without actually BEING reckless? How do you satisfy that desire to escape from yourself and your little part of the world?
When you just cannot handle being responsible ONE MORE MINUTE, how do you release?
Thanks in advance.
S.
