easing anal worries

I need advise on anal....
my man is totally into it and i am too but am a virgin and need suggestions on how to go about this...thanks

farieyqueenlola said:

I need advise on anal....
my man is totally into it and i am too but am a virgin and need suggestions on how to go about this...thanks

Click to expand...

anal virgin or virgin period? just curious.

Ok, first of all, while having regular sex, have him ease a lubed finger up there and see if you actually like that. If so, try two. Then three.

There are also anal toys to use to widen yourself a bit.

Lay on your stomach with several pillows under your pelvis with your legs kneeling. This should put your ass up in the air, with your cheeks slightly spread.

Have your lover again use his fingers to play with your asshole with lube. the first time you might want to use a vibe on your clit too...the goal is to get you as relaxed as you can be. When you're ready, have him press the tip of his really really really lubed cock against the opening. Did I mention you want to be using a LOT of lube? Have him slide the head in, and stop so you can get used to the sensation.

Once you're ready, press back. Youll know when you're ready to let him start thrusting.

Keep in mind that you need to be relaxed...if you're tense, your muscles won't allow for penetration, or they will and it will hurt a lot.

That's my experience and advice at anyrate.

LUBE LUBE LUBE...can't repeat it enough

farieyqueenlola said:

I need advise on anal....
my man is totally into it and i am too but am a virgin and need suggestions on how to go about this...thanks

Click to expand...

dont let him talk you into just using spit.....it isnt like lube....it doesnt work......

Just relax and enjoy and if you drink have a glass of wine or a beer and get really relaxed......

My first time having anal I had no lube, he just went for the go and it hurt as hell, I was in pain for awhile but after that we ended up using lube.

Then me and my SO wanted to try something new with him, I wanted to see if he would enjoy anal so I used lube and my fingers cause he was a virgin also and it made it not enjoyable to him also with the toy we tried, so when you do try it make sure you are relax and feeling comfortable and you will enjoy it a lot better. .

=)
Enema's also help you open up, relax, and clean out.

Lube and a drink wouldn't help

and if you think you have too much lube... add just a liiittle but more ::nod:: then shower together, always nice debriefing after the first few times.

We've reciently tied this a few times to check it off "the list" fo stuff to do and like and master
And the first few times I just, I don't know I felt weird, I needed a hug, I needed to be held, and just layed down with me for a little while... i didn't know what to think... still don't. ::shrug:: Try to masturbate or use a vibe on your clit during, it helps to distract, make him go slow... very slow. just my 2cents.

don't contemplate it without lube! a few drinks to calm the nerves and cure those inhibitions! and take it slow and on't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out the first try, I found anal one of things that sometimes worked and sometimes didn't at first.

special desensitizing lube

There are special lubes for anal sex that helps desensitize the area, making it easier to gain initial entry. You can get it right here in the Lit store or any adult store or website. It worked for us.

Re: special desensitizing lube

Ladybatt said:

There are special lubes for anal sex that helps desensitize the area, making it easier to gain initial entry. You can get it right here in the Lit store or any adult store or website. It worked for us.

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Lube is essential, but the desensitizing ones aren't really a good idea.

If anal sex is painful, then you need more lube, relaxation, and patience not desensitizing and the potential for unknowing harm.

Last Sunday, a week ago now, my lover and I had anal intercourse for the first time. We have played in the area quite a bit, and we have both inserted fingers, licked, kissed, rubbed, spanked, etc. He has penetrated a bit with the head, but this was the first time he went in as far as he did with about half of his penis, thrusting as in vaginal intercourse.

At first I was tight and it was kind of sore, but then I opened up. That is when he started thrusting. He used a lot of lube, and is very careful, so that part was okay. I was nervous while we were doing it and I'm not sure I let go entirely.

I wasn't sore right afterwards, but he was kind enough to place a warmed wet wash cloth against my butt three times, re-warming it as it got cold. I really appreciated the attention.

I have been very sore, however, for almost the entire week. Yesterday it seemed to let up finally, and today isn't bad, but I'm wondering if this is normal after the first time, or if I should be concerned.

I HAVE been concerned, which probably hasn't helped me relax any. The soreness hasn't just been around the opening, it has gone up inside and has accompanied lower abdominal discomfort similar to menstraul cramps. During most of the week, it was uncomfortable to sit, to drive, and to lean forward. More comfortable to stand or lie down.

I'd appreciate any insight - well, let me rephrase that - no 'in sight' allowed <grin> sorry, it's my wry sense of humor...


floweringlotus

I would forego the drinks entirely. You need to know when you are experiencing pain and to relay that information to your partner. This is not the time to try to turn off your body's defences. Also, don't expect to be sucessful the first time. Some are, some aren't. If you are among those who do not achieve sucess, don't sweat it. Just enjoy and look forward to the next time. It is important to have fun most of all. I would say lube, lube, lube, a caring partner, and relaxation are key. Oh, and a good enema does help you get more comfortable!

As to any after effects....Yes, it is normal for some women to feel discomfort for the first few days after anal. Cramping, diaherrea, constipation can all occur. If not enough lube was used, there may even be slight bleeding. I have found the amount of lube and position play a big role in later discomfort. Lots of lube and engaging in anal in the "missionary" position seems to ease any discomfort. In fact, the last time I had anal (Valentine's day) I no discomfort whatsoever. However, if my partner doesn't use enough lube or if I'm not fully prepared or if he moves too fast then it can be a bit painful afterwards. Also, it seems to make a difference for me if he comes in my ass. The effects seemed heightened.

There is the enduringly popular best lube for anal sex thread.

Currently, it's off on an inflatable sheep digression, but the link is to a voting summary. It's worth a quick read just for some quick arguments about the relative merits of different types of lubes and potential disadvantages.

There was also a Valentines Day anal thread with some excellent technique posts, including one by our very own SexyChele.
First time anal on Valentines Day?

No Discomfort

I understand what you're saying about injury morninggirl, but my problem was although we would use plenty of lube when I would feel him hit my sphincter I would involuntarily tighten up. When he would sense it was causing discomfort he would back off and it seemed we never got "it" where we wanted it!!! LOL. Anyway, once I was super lubed up with our regular lube we applied some of the anal lube, waited 15-20 minutes and he GENTLY slipped it right in. It was great!! I have to say it helped me to enjoy the experience and perhaps in the future I won't need it

She who dares, wins.

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Valium and Anal Eaze where not options in the poll, so I couldn't vote. Sorry.

I've said it before and say it again:

1. Patience
2. Tequila
3. Lube
4. More lube
5. Did I mention lube?
6. Maybe a hypnosis tape lol!

anal

SlowGuy said:

There is the enduringly popular best lube for anal sex thread.

Currently, it's off on an inflatable sheep digression, but the link is to a voting summary. It's worth a quick read just for some quick arguments about the relative merits of different types of lubes and potential disadvantages.

There was also a Valentines Day anal thread with some excellent technique posts, including one by our very own SexyChele.
First time anal on Valentines Day?

Click to expand...

such a nice ass could i git a taste????!!!!

farieyqueenlola said:

I need advise on anal....
my man is totally into it and i am too but am a virgin and need suggestions on how to go about this...thanks

Click to expand...

I've had a slightly different experience. First off, I'm going to say that when I get very aroused, I get very wet. We didn't use lube and I had no problems because of my natural lubrication. If you have *any* remote doubts about how it might feel, use a lube.

My advice is not to decide "tonight we're going to have anal sex." Tell you're boyfriend that you're willing to try it, but when it feels right to you. I told my (now ex) that I would be willing to try anal, but I didn't want to jump right in and try it that day. It ended up that a couple of weeks later we had anal sex it was more of a spur of the moment type of thing. We were having sex and I had time to get aroused before he started playing with my ass. It was an amazing experience and I believe that a big part of it was because I obviously enjoy the sensation. However, I think the fact that I didn't let it become this big scary event. I let myself get used to the idea a little. Slowly, I introduced myself to the sensation, spanking and fingering, and then we waited until I was ready and aroused enough to fully enjoy it.

Sorry if I rambled on and offered too much information. I really should be sleeping right now.

Thanks...thats more or less what he said. Don't plan it just let it happen...it was great!!!!

Great site

Thanks for the great site, Blackie. Tons of info, more than I needed to know!!! LOL