Finishing Oral Sex ?

Ok, at the urging of a good friend and with some trepidation for asking this, here we go...

I am a mid 30's male who has had about 10 partners over the course of my "sexual life". Out of those 10 partners only one was ever able to give me oral sex until I finished. It isn't that the others haven't tried, it just didn't happen. (And no, I don't remember anything that one girl did really different from the rest before you ask...other than I masturbated a lot less back then LOL)

My current gf is finding her wings so to speak sexually, and her fantasy is to give me a blow job to conclusion. (And she promises not to be a spitter.. Extra A for effort there in my book)

My concern is that past experience has shown that this can be a problem with me, and I don't want her to feel that she is doing something wrong or worse not good enough if I don't cum. I would hate for her first attempt to be her last attempt, and to lead to a little bit of doubt in her mind about her ablility to get my "fire engine" going so to speak.

Is this all in my head? Should I warn her ahead of time? Or should I just hope to god that it works and she doesn't end up with a nasty case of lock-jaw. Any thoughts?

Thanks
FF

Hm.

Good thread, FF.

Ranger has the same... well... issue. I have NEVER in over four years and LOTS of hours of practice been able to finish him orally. For a long time it was a source of inadequacy thoughts for me, then it became apparent that it WASN'T me when he finally told me that it had NEVER happened for him. And he's had, well, let's just say exponentially more partners than you.

Now, that's not to say I don't wish for it every time. There's something about not being able to 'finish him off' ever that still almost hurts my feelings. Like I'm not good enough. And it's rough on me when I have to ask him to help me because I want to taste him.

I'm looking forward to the discussion that this hopefully sparks.

Ang

CelticFrog said:

Hm.

I'm looking forward to the discussion that this hopefully sparks.

Ang

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Me too! (Nice pun btw)

I don't know about Ranger, but I do know that this bothers me almost as much as it may bother you. It is like I have a mental block or something.

And as far as my "partner count" ..I was a slooooow starter. LOL But then again, what I have lacked in quantity, I have made up for with....well, not really....but one or two of them were f'n AWSOME!

OH and thanks for giving the entire board your headcold! LOL

firefighter02 said:

OH and thanks for giving the entire board your headcold! LOL

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Pun? OHHHHH... Wow, I really AM sick.

And *I* gave it to the entire board? NO NO NO NONO .....

sheath gave it to me first. Something about telephonic death rays.

So don't go blamin' me...

Ang

CelticFrog said:

And *I* gave it to the entire board? NO NO NO NONO .....

sheath gave it to me first. Something about telephonic death rays.

So don't go blamin' me...

Ang

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Hmmm...now that you mention it I was feeling great until late yesterday afternoon. Hmmmmmm.....Someones got some 'splainin to do!

*sigh*

Yes, I hereby confess. I had a cold all last week. And I am capable, apparently, of telephonic sickness rays, which means I can transmit the illness over hundreds of miles in a matter of hours simply by talking on the phone.

It's all MY fault, I take full responsibility. Now you can club me over the head with a bottle of Nyquil.

S.

Well, if SOMEONE would get you those plane tickets and get your BUTT UP HERE...

I would.

Now... ORAL SEX! ORAL SEX! ORAL ORAL ORAL SEX!!!

I would, except you've given Ranger telephonic sickness too.

Ang

CelticFrog said:

I would, except you've given Ranger telephonic sickness too.

Ang

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I should be quarantined.

Okay, okay...

Back to the original thread!

S.

ff
my advice is to be honest and tell her you about your situation.
that way she wont feel its her fault.
also relax and enjoy the moment dont be affraid to touch an explore her and let her know where your most sensetive spots are. that way you both enjoy it.

Let me see if I'm understanding this right. firefighter can't cum (or hasn't yet, or rarely does) from oral loving. He's worried that his SO will take it personally, especially as she is just now beginning to be open to oral sex.

And then from CelticFrog's post there is an implication that her partner, like firefighter, is so well-equipped size-wise that it's tough to "do" him because it takes so long and he doesn't cum right away and she gets lockjaw because he's so big?



It might be like some women not wanting their guys to go down on them because they know they take so long to cum and they are afraid the guy will get "numb-tongue" or a stiff neck.

Er, I used to be that way and it took much encouragement and persistance from my partner before I finally agreed to hang in there and let him "do" me properly to conclusion. I'm so glad I did, too. It took a while and sometimes it's still not perfect, but oral sex is a lot more fun now and I am almost (ALMOST) over that insecure feeling that I won't be able to cum.



Good luck.

I would abstain from masturbation for at least 24 hours before her "attempt" (48 if you've got the discipline...good luck).

I would also warn her ahead of time, but make it lighthearted. I envy you...as I tend to have the opposite problem <blush>

Perhaps some hand play (from her) for a few moments to get you "closer"? Perhaps you can squeeze her titties to get you more aroused and speed things along?

At any rate, good luck and have fun with it!

Dave

Well, I must be a strange one, because I love using oral sex as a turn on/foreplay sort of thing but don't like finishing it orally too often. I will occasionaly but tis a rare thing. More apt to use it as foreplay and hop on top of him and ride him to orgasm.

For your girl- you could have her try oral on you as foreplay, with nothing more attatched to it at first then that. Once she's comfortable with that then you can move on and up to "full" oral sex ending with you cumming in her mouth.
I concur with the opinion of giving her a head's up (not much pun intended) before she starts in on you about your past... um... difficulties. That way she's not expecting an immediate explosion and you can relax into it.
Be vocal with her, let her know if you really really like something, tell her, even if its only "Oh, baby, like that!"
Have fun!

Here's what you do...Send her to my place for practice. That way she won't feel disappointed or anything as there is no attatchment. Okay, okay, just kidding.

I think the advice about openess, abstinance, and foreplay is all very sound.

The scene can also make a huge difference. Simply lying back and letting her have a go at it isn't always ideal. Explore your fantasies a little and see if there's something lurking in that sexual mind that would trip your trigger.

I find that I need stimulation in just the right place for me to cum while receiving Oral sex. The area right underneath the head of my cock is very sensitive and I need to be stimulated there. Also using your hand along with your mouth might help. The difference to me is how much contact your dick is really getting with a BJ. A vagina will be in contact with the whole penis most of the time. And as most guys know the tighter it is the more friction and the faster you will cum. So have her use more friction by sucking harder, make sure the area under the head is stimulated. This is a good area to swirl the tongue on. I find that very very exciting.

CelticFrog said:

Pun? OHHHHH... Wow, I really AM sick.

And *I* gave it to the entire board? NO NO NO NONO .....

sheath gave it to me first. Something about telephonic death rays.

So don't go blamin' me...

Ang

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So that's where I got this blasted thing!

My throat is so damn sore I can barely swallow. About the only thing I want right now is an ice cold chocolate milkshake to make it feel better.

MercyMia said:

Let me see if I'm understanding this right. firefighter can't cum (or hasn't yet, or rarely does) from oral loving. He's worried that his SO will take it personally, especially as she is just now beginning to be open to oral sex.

And then from CelticFrog's post there is an implication that her partner, like firefighter, is so well-equipped size-wise that it's tough to "do" him because it takes so long and he doesn't cum right away and she gets lockjaw because he's so big?

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I don't think you're understanding my position quite right. It's not tough to 'do' him, and in fact I give him oral on a regular basis. However, it doesn't take 'so long'. He does NOT orgasm from oral stimulation (or coupled with manual stimulation) alone. I get lockjaw because I've had my mouth open for so long trying so many different ways to get him to come (don't worry, I spend plenty of time on each technique as far as I know) that it starts hurting. Bad. I'm not saying his equipment isn't large, but hell... even giving a tiny guy a BJ for as long as I've tried would give a girl lockjaw.

I'm sorry if I sound defensive, but the gist I got from that post was that you assumed I gave up in the first half hour.

Ang

CelticFrog said:

I'm sorry if I sound defensive, but the gist I got from that post was that you assumed I gave up in the first half hour.

Ang

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First half hour?? I didn't think they lasted more than a couple of minutes.. Hmmm...maybe I have found my answer...

FF

Oh PS...condolences to the Ranger's Junk for the head cold...Dang...if sheath can do that we are all in trouble! She must be really powerful! ....

firefighter02 said:

First half hour?? I didn't think they lasted more than a couple of minutes.. Hmmm...maybe I have found my answer...

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Well, I was bound and determined to be able to get him to come. And it still didn't work. I've tried on more than one occasion for extended periods of time. In past relationships.... yeah, I only needed a couple of minutes.

Trust me. I don't think the answer is that easy.

Ang

Interesting thread and even more interesting replies. Not sure of where mine's going but I'll throw some thoughts in.

If you've only had it done for a few minutes then yea, that's a part right there cause I would think it takes more than a few to reach orgasm.

It might also be your own mind keeping you from it, the way you think. Not all guys are into the power trip of "making" a women suck their cock and or then having her swallow the cum. Personally I think guys like that have some inner issue they need to seek help with because to me that's a form of rape ( yes I said rape ) but some ladies want to be forced and if that is okay with each person then great, go for it. But if that might be what your feeling inside then it doesn't matter how good she feels doing it, your thinking inside that your making her do something she might not to and thus you won't cum. I've rarely cum in my partners mouth and tend to pull out and have her stroke me onto her neck, nipples or just onto her hand. Only recently am I learning to accept that when it's done they want to do it, and they want my cum in their mouth just as much as I want her wetness and her cum in mine.
The lady I am with now and hope to be till I die hasn't done much oral till we met. She told me before we had sex that when she did it she didn't like it and didn't want me upset if she wasn't able to do a thing. Maybe it was the way I treated her or something, but when she finally took my cock into her mouth she went wild. Bobbing her mouth up and down and twisting the shaft with her hand, but it was when she grabbed my hand and put it to the back of her head that woke me up to the fact that she wanted it and I was able to relax and let it feel good.
Talk to her, be open as said and have fun

BirdsWife said:

So that's where I got this blasted thing!

My throat is so damn sore I can barely swallow. About the only thing I want right now is an ice cold chocolate milkshake to make it feel better.

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*hands BirdsWife a bottle of Nyquil and then slinks off to hide...*

S.

Looks like I didn't catch sheath's cold.....wonder why

Falkieri said:

Looks like I didn't catch sheath's cold.....wonder why

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You really SURE you want me to make up for that oversight? You'll feel like hell for days. Apparently.

S.

sheath said:

You really SURE you want me to make up for that oversight? You'll feel like hell for days. Apparently.

S.

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LOL.......maybe I can do without feeling like hell from that......

Ahh...oral sex.

Speaking from my own experience, I know that it is hard for me to come as a result of what someone else is doing to me. My first real relationship was with a guy who couldn't have cared less how things felt for me and didn't enjoy pleasing me...as a result, he made me come 3 times...over the course of a year and a half...not so good right? It left me feeling weird about having guys pleasure me.

Fast forward to my current relationship...my guy loves going down on me, and amazingly often seems to be more focused on making me come (more than once most of the time) than his own pleasure. As we have been together longer and I have gotten to feel more comfortable with him, I have been able to come more easily. I have found though that my own maturbation habits play into this...If I know I am going to be seeing him, I do my damndest not to masturbate for a day or two in advance...it definately helps.

Along the same lines, I am the first girl who has been able to get my guy off with oral. He's older than me, and has been with more people...so I was surprised the first time we messed around and he told me not to bother doing it for too long, since there would be no result. Of course I took this as my new mission in life. I pride myself on the fact that I give great head (I've gotten lots of good feedback) and I wanted to make him feel as good as he was making me feel.

Patience is a good thing to have when it comes to oral. It doesn't happen super quick most of the time. With my guy, the first time I got him off was a result of an hour or so of teasing and kissing and touching in between sessions of oral. I often find that taking a break and doing something else helps me get there as well.

I think comfort and trust and relaxation also play into this a lot. You need to start getting into the mindset that you *will* be able to get off. You just have to relax. Don't rush things. Take time. Communicate with your partner. If they start working a spot that feels really good, let them know. Don't get frustrated...things like this can take practice, patience, and lots of experiementation.

firefighter02 said:

First half hour?? I didn't think they lasted more than a couple of minutes.. Hmmm...maybe I have found my answer...
...

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Sure, a half hour of blow job is a long time but how many other ways do you know of for a guy to have penetrative sex for a half hour without coming?

Giving a long blow job with no orgasm can be a good thing for a girl. It can make the guy so damn frustrated that he *has* to fuck her *right now*. But, having sustained the erection for so long, it takes him a while to get off once he starts screwing her.

Gosh, isn't that a shame? She might get fucked for ten or twenty minutes by a guy who really wants it!

BTW: if you try this technique, make sure you have an "emergency exit plan" for getting off if all else fails.

I can get my hubby off orally maybe one time in 5 or 10 but taking a long time at it is fun for him, whether he comes or not.

Oh, ladies, if your man is too big, go right ahead and complain about it. "Gosh, dear, your dick is so big, I just can't take it! My mouth is sore and my lips are stretched to the limit!"

Some guys like to hear that kind of complaint. Go figure.