breaking a hymen

shy little fairy

Really Experienced
Joined
Jan 22, 2004
Posts
157
hi, from those of you girls who didn't already have it broken/stretched - as in, girls who actually know that you RIPPED your hymen during sexual activity. how bad was it? i know a lot of people say it DOES hurt like a mother, but that as long as your turned on and stuff you'll get really into the fuck and by the time you orgasm you should be fine, right? i am interested in your experience. also, did any of you break yours by using sex toys, so - like, by yourself?
 
Hmm...
Considering I lost mine after an entire afternoon and evening of heavy petting and play, didn't hurt for more then a moment of "Hold still!... okay move! Oh, like that!"
But then I, the virgin, was the one pushing for it from my man who wasn't. Was a little sore the next day, but nothing worth complaining over. I know, I'm lucky- my guys held very tight reign over himself to make sure he didn't hurt me more then nessesary and to make it the orgasmic experiance it was. Small wonder we're now married, LOL.

Anyone who tells a woman her first time has to be awful and painful is full of shit. If you trust a guy enough to give him that most precious of gifts, he better be decent enough to take care of your needs that first time before seeing to his own. JMHO
I suppose if you really want to take it yourself you could. Would eleminate that "tell tale" evidence of your inexperiance. And toys can be a world of fun too.
Depends on what you want to do really.
 
I broke mine the first time I had sex.

Yeah, it hurt. And the fact that the condom was lubricated with spermicide rubbed salt in the wound, for sure.

But the pain, which WAS noticeable the whole time, was welcome. As if I felt like I deserved it (the good way). A rite of passage.

I also didn't orgasm the first time I had sex. I didn't mind. I was more interested in the sensations than I was worried about coming.

Interesting question.
Ang
 
Zergplex Says

Vixandra said:
Hmm...
Considering I lost mine after an entire afternoon and evening of heavy petting and play, didn't hurt for more then a moment of "Hold still!... okay move! Oh, like that!"
But then I, the virgin, was the one pushing for it from my man who wasn't. Was a little sore the next day, but nothing worth complaining over. I know, I'm lucky- my guys held very tight reign over himself to make sure he didn't hurt me more then nessesary and to make it the orgasmic experiance it was. Small wonder we're now married, LOL.

Anyone who tells a woman her first time has to be awful and painful is full of shit. If you trust a guy enough to give him that most precious of gifts, he better be decent enough to take care of your needs that first time before seeing to his own. JMHO
I suppose if you really want to take it yourself you could. Would eleminate that "tell tale" evidence of your inexperiance. And toys can be a world of fun too.
Depends on what you want to do really.

The main problem is that men tend not to spend the time nessicary beforehand to make a girl ready for this, nor do they take into consideration the fact that immediate and hard fucking might be a bit painful ^_^() I agree that a first time doesn't need to be painful, its what you and your mate make of it. If you spend the time and energy with the right person it can be a magical experiance.

*teasing*
For a random comment though you don't hear people call a guys virginity his most precious of gifts ^_^() it seems rarer to find a male virgin then a female, does that increase the preciousness? Hmmmmm I wonder what would be the proper scale of showing the value of virginity.... carets? I am a 24 caret virgin! *grin*
*/teasing*

Well those are the such thoughts that escape when I should be sleeping. Sleep sounds good *passes out on keyboard*

-Zergplex
 
myself

it's not that i want to take it myself. it's that i want to jump into the world of vibrators - i was checking out the rabbit online. anyways, i figure i might end up hurting myself, i mean, if i would tear it w/ a cock, i would tear it w/ that, hehe.
 
Although mine definately broke the first time I had sex, I think it was most definately stretched the first time I went to the Gyno.

When I was a virgin, tampons were too painful to wear...I went to the gyno so I could get on birth control and had my first pelvic exam...let me tell you...I started crying cause it hurt so much. I think that got me part way there...I didn't notice any blood then...and the first time I had sex there was blood.

I wasn't too sore afterwards...the sex part was way less painful for me than my first experience at the gyno. :)
 
When I was a virgin, tampons were too painful to wear so I definitely broke mine the first time I had sex. Yeah, it hurt but I wasn't too sore afterwards. I also didn't orgasm the first time I had sex. I didn't mind. I was more interested in the sensations than I was worried about coming.
 
Vixandra said:
If you trust a guy enough to give him that most precious of gifts, he better be decent enough to take care of your needs that first time before seeing to his own. JMHO
That's OK unless he is also a virgin. Then it's less of a matter of who's needs come first and more of a matter of "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing either."

Hubby and I are coming up on the 10th anniversary of the night we de-virginized ourselves. Ah, fond memories... sort of...

We tried and failed a couple of times to get it right. Several problems:
  • Getting the condom on and keeping him hard at the same time.
  • Keeping him hard enough to break it yet preventing him from coming.
  • Lack of sensation caused by the condom made it difficult for him to know where he was.
  • Not knowing the right angle for penetration.
  • Not sure if he was breaking my cherry or just poking in the wrong place (It hurts but I don't think it's supposed to hurt quite like that).
In other words, we were spending all of our energy on the mechanics and losing the arousal.

I hate to admit it but what we eventually ended up doing was skipping the condom for the initial entry. We also got him off manually an hour before we tried penetration. Once he was inside me, he went all the way in and stayed still once he was there.

After a moment or two, he pulled out and put on a condom, then re-entered. Unfortunately, he started coming as soon as he entered me the second time so it wasn't very good for either of us.

But, we did enjoy that moment of first entry, along with the fear that I might get pregnant. Our back up plan if he came inside me was for me to get the morning-after treatment.

The point is, I'm not sure it can be very good for two virgins. It is *much* better if one of the two has experience and is willing to focus on the virgin's needs (not an option for us).

Maybe with the over-the-counter morning-after-treatment it would be easier to go without a condom. (Didn't have it back then). I'm also assuming a level of trust between the couple about STDs.
 
I broke my hymen before I lost my virginity. I was curious about using tampons and decided to try one while I did not have my period so I could lay on my bed, in a comfortable position when I inserted the tampon. After inserting the tampon, I heard a popping sound (similar to the sound when cracking a knuckle) and I'm pretty sure I felt mild pain. Obviously I didn't feel a lot of pain, certainly not enough to remember. At first I didn't know what had happened, but after I pulled the tampon out, there were spots of blood on it. Being an intelligent teenager, I realized what had happened.

It's hardly an exciting story, but I hope it helps anyone who hasn't already broken her hymen. No, it doesn't have to hurt. I'm pretty sure that there are women who have had a similarly painfree experience during sexual play.

:heart: Kitty
 
I must have broken mine long before I realized phallic objects were supposed to go in there, so I didn't have any problems. But I imagine it would have been VERY hard for me to break my own- even with a toy. Thinking of it now makes me kinda cringe.

If you are that worried about it, maybe see if your gyno can break yours or at least get you on the way to it opening. If you haven't been to your gyno yet, I recommend it. I was scared my first time, but I survived. You will too :)




:rose:
 
Irish_Kitty said:
It's hardly an exciting story, but I hope it helps anyone who hasn't already broken her hymen. No, it doesn't have to hurt. I'm pretty sure that there are women who have had a similarly painfree experience during sexual play. :heart: Kitty
I suspect the pain level depends as much on the hymen as it does on technique used to break it.

Some women describe it as "oops there it goes" where others have trouble getting through it without a doctor's help.

If you try it gently and it starts to hurt, see a doctor (unless you don't mind the pain).

If you experiment on your own, remember that it might break with only a little effort. Be sure it's what you want to do. They don't grow back.

If I could do it over again, I would do it exactly as we did it. The fact that it wasn't very good sex doesn't change the fact that it was a special loving moment for both of us. Given that we were both virgins, it wasn't going to be good quality sex the first time no matter how we did it.
 
I have to give my ex-husband credit for tremendous self-control. It took three different attempts (that's three different days, not three tries in one encounter) for him to conquer my reluctant maidenhead !

I'd never put anything bigger than a tampon in there...Heck, I'd never put anything other than a tampon in there, and I was absolutely terrified to be impaled by something that big
So, we tried and tried until we got it right ;)

With the first tries, there was some sharp pain-not too bad-that was over pretty quickly. There was no big ripping pain when he finally broke through, so the first tries must have prepared me for the actual event! Each time there was stinging and burning for a couple of days after. There was very little blood and then only during each attempt, not after.


Although there was that small bit of pain, my first time was fantastic, mostly because Paul was an attentive lover and made sure that I was really turned on throughout the experience. This kept my attention AND provided plenty of lubricaiton!! By the time it was all done, my tender little puss had squeezed him tight through several orgasms!

I'm glad that he had some experience already, because he knew what to do, and it probably gave him the restraint to keep from just busting through and scaring me off forever : )
 
leoline said:
... I'm glad that he had some experience already, because he knew what to do, and it probably gave him the restraint to keep from just busting through and scaring me off forever : )
... or coming before he ever got it inside you.
 
gyno

NaiveOne said:
I must have broken mine long before I realized phallic objects were supposed to go in there, so I didn't have any problems. But I imagine it would have been VERY hard for me to break my own- even with a toy. Thinking of it now makes me kinda cringe.

If you are that worried about it, maybe see if your gyno can break yours or at least get you on the way to it opening. If you haven't been to your gyno yet, I recommend it. I was scared my first time, but I survived. You will too :)




:rose:

yah, thanx. i mean, i know, they say once you're 18 you really should go sexually active or not! i kinda want to, like, i'm scared, but i guess i want him to check to see if everything's alright? lol, i mean, it feels alright to me ;), but yah.
yah, the idea of breaking my own hymen sounds painful, which is why i started this thread. but i was looking at vibrators, and man, they looked exciting - yet i realized it would probably break it. i mean, i don't know, maybe i'm one of those people who never had one, or who already has there's stretched, but i can't tell, because the only thing that's ever been in there is my 2 fingers, and that's only a couple of inches, so i have no clue. and well, i use tampons, but they're thin, and while obviously some people can break their hymen using a tampon, i definately haven't (most dr's say the hole is big enough for a tampon to go through).
but yah, i guess i'm eager to try a toy, but worried about the hymen thing... and i definately don't plan on rushing into sex, just to get my cherry popped so i can go fuck myself! (going off to college in a few months, and i don't plan on getting into any deep relationships around here - hs boys can be so immature sometimes).
 
My best friend in high school lost hers on a tampon -- and I had to tell her what happened. She went into the bathroom to put in a tampon, and came back out with a funny look on her face and something to show me, wondering what it was. The tampon had a pinkish ring of skin/membrane around it, which reminded me of the ring around the end you blow of a popped balloon. "Congratulations," I told her. "You are no longer a virgin." What a way to go. She told me it didn't hurt.
 
I broke my own hymen during masturbation. I had absolutely no idea of what had happened, as I was between 11 and 12. I remember I was sticking something up inside my vagina (funny how memory doesn't let remember what it was, but it wasn't a vibrator), and I felt a sharp cramp. It sort of freaked me out, as I had been sticking ojects of varying size inside of me and never had any pain before. When I removed it, I found out I was bleeding. Not being entirely sure what was going on, I thought I had started my period. I stopped all play and put on a pad. When I checked an hour or so later, there was hardly any blood, and I really freaked.

After a few days, when I didn't die or anything, I figured whatever it was, everything was okay. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized what had happened.
 
SexyChele said:
I broke my own hymen during masturbation. I had absolutely no idea of what had happened, as I was between 11 and 12. I remember I was sticking something up inside my vagina (funny how memory doesn't let remember what it was, but it wasn't a vibrator), and I felt a sharp cramp. It sort of freaked me out, as I had been sticking ojects of varying size inside of me and never had any pain before. When I removed it, I found out I was bleeding. Not being entirely sure what was going on, I thought I had started my period. I stopped all play and put on a pad. When I checked an hour or so later, there was hardly any blood, and I really freaked.

After a few days, when I didn't die or anything, I figured whatever it was, everything was okay. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized what had happened.

Amazing, this is almost the exact same thing that happened to me. I was about 11, and not real sure I knew anything about pads at that time. I don't remember much pain, but was really scared when I saw the blood, all kinds of terrible thoughts were going through my mind and I was shaking uncontrollably - this may have offset any pain. However, the most painful part was later when my mother saw the blood, and found out what happened. She really lost it, I dodn't think she was ever going to cool down. She made me go to church and confess my sin to the priest. There was no way I was going to do this so I made up some story to tell him, and decided to never go to confession again.
 
Mysty61 said:
...There was no way I was going to do this so I made up some story to tell him, and decided to never go to confession again.
Oh my. A bit off topic but your post reminded me how long it has been since I entered the little booth.

Were I to confess now, it would take a very long time and leave the poor priest in something other than a state of grace.

"... Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been eleven years since my last confession."
 
Only slightly off topic; one of my high school Buddy's was Jewish and had been circumcised only a month before his girlfriend Finlay let him into her.

She had no problem, but he nearly bled to death before they got to the emergency room at the hospital. As he entered her the incompletely healed scar tissues from the circumcision tore.
 
angela146 said:
Oh my. A bit off topic but your post reminded me how long it has been since I entered the little booth.

Were I to confess now, it would take a very long time and leave the poor priest in something other than a state of grace.

"... Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been eleven years since my last confession."

I can relate to that, but it probably getting around 30 years since my last one. Once I learned about sex and other things life has to offer confession was a thing of the past, and definately nothing for the future. Maybe confession experiences would be a good topic for another thread.
 
Mysty61 said:
I can relate to that, but it probably getting around 30 years since my last one. Once I learned about sex and other things life has to offer confession was a thing of the past, and definately nothing for the future. Maybe confession experiences would be a good topic for another thread.
I agree. I'm thinking it would be good in the BDSM area. After all, confession is a very D/s thing. Anyway, I will start another thread in the BDSM forum and we can let this thread get back on topic.
 
Mysty61 said:
I can relate to that, but it probably getting around 30 years since my last one. Once I learned about sex and other things life has to offer confession was a thing of the past, and definately nothing for the future. Maybe confession experiences would be a good topic for another thread.

This makes me wonder if the confession booth is were the idea for phone-sex comes from.
 
angela146 said:

We tried and failed a couple of times to get it right. Several problems...

In other words, we were spending all of our energy on the mechanics and losing the arousal.

I resemble this remark. Pretty much the way it happened for me too. Took a long time for me to get relaxed enough to let hubby in. I did the damned impression of a vice.

Anyway, one day, we just went for it when we were fooling around and yes, it hurt...a lot. As did the second and third time. I also bled quite a bit.

But then it got better.

It got REALLY GOOD six years later when we figured out how to give me an orgasm! Oh what I had been missing!
 
The_old_man said:
Only slightly off topic; one of my high school Buddy's was Jewish and had been circumcised only a month before his girlfriend Finlay let him into her.

She had no problem, but he nearly bled to death before they got to the emergency room at the hospital. As he entered her the incompletely healed scar tissues from the circumcision tore.

Uh, somethng's off about this story, guy. Jews get circumcised as babies, just like everyone else, only 8 days after birth. Not in high school. A guy who converted or something will do something different where only a drop of symbolic blood is taken. Either he was pulling your leg or something else was going on. The only places I know of where circumcision is done at puberty, except for medical reasons, is in certain African tribes. The non-Jewish ones. (Yes, there is a Jewish one.)

As to hymens, I was actually raped by somebody, and had sex with someone else, without bleeding, and remained intact until having sex with my boyfriend. It hurt a lot. Needless to say, the person who raped me and the guy after that were quite underendowed. (The rape was very scary -- I was 15 -- but didn't really hurt physically. Felt more like having your throat swabbed. Quite unpleasant and sort of clinical.)

The whole thing was very annoying. If I'd realized I was still technically a virgin, I'd have waited with my boyfriend. Was somehow trying to 'fix' having been raped by the two experiences after. I strongly suspect that given time, sensitivity, and good hands doing some gentle stretching, it didn't have to hurt.
 
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