Trouble in the bedroom...

I just recently lost my virginity to my current boyfriend. And I was his first. However, I haven't yet had my first orgasm. I'm really open to suggestion in bed, and I'll do whatever he wants me to in order to make him happy.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit bitter that on a consistent basis he won't "return the favor." He's a great guy and is usually very cooperative....but this is one thing he just won't do.

The question is, is there a way I can convince him to do it? What's the best way to explain to him how much this would mean to me? Or is there some better way to reach orgasm?

Any advice you can give would be appreciated..

Ummm.....what won't he do??

He won't go down on me. Sorry. I didn't mean to be vague.

Thanks for clarifying. Do you orgasm on your own, so you know what feels good to you, and what sends you over the edge?

You could cop an attitude, "it's good enough to fuck, but not lick?!", but, that probably won't get you too far.

I had much more experience sexually than my hubby, and I was the first one he had oral sex with. I started out by spreading my legs, and letting him lay between them, experimenting. He got to know what it looked like, how it felt, how if he touched me "there" he got a moan out of me. From there, he tried licking the various parts. Unfortunately, for the first few times he tried, he gagged! Not a big ego booster for me!! But, we hung in there, and now, I have to pull him off of me because he'd never stop otherwise!

Ask him why he won't do it. Is it the hair? Does he think it'll taste bad? That it's disgusting? If he's concerned about the taste, get some pussy juice on your finger, and let him suck it off. Tell him....you know how good it feels when I suck and lick you, I want to feel the same. You could withhold doing it to him until he's willing to reciprocate, but that's not really good in a relationship.

There are many ways to orgasm....being fingered, being eaten, woman on top during fucking is a good postition, buy a vibrator. Since you're both just starting out, take the time to experiment with what feels best. Enjoy!

Thanks a lot. Actually I've never had an orgasm. I bought a vibrator but I'm still trying to figure out what I like and what feels good.

Thanks for the advice.

Try shaving "down there".

It's a lot more fun to munch on a nice, slick beaver than on a thick rug...

Too much hair can make anybody gag - it's sorta like sucking the beer out of a shag carpet!

zhukov1943 said:

Too much hair can make anybody gag - it's sorta like sucking the beer out of a shag carpet!

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Good God. I did a double take on that one.

And I gotta ask? How do you know what it is like to suck beer out of a shag carpet?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

S.

Definately experiment with playing with yourself... see what it takes to get you going... of course once you've orgasmed it will be impossible to get you away from getting yourself off

I second the idea of shaving for the bald effect... I know thats my personal preference. Another thing you might try once you know how to get yourself off is to have him watch you do it to yourself... it might just drive him over the edge!!! Good luck and have fun

sheath said:

Good God. I did a double take on that one.

And I gotta ask? How do you know what it is like to suck beer out of a shag carpet?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

S.

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You mean this isn't common knowledge?

zhukov1943 said:

Try shaving "down there".

It's a lot more fun to munch on a nice, slick beaver than on a thick rug...

Too much hair can make anybody gag - it's sorta like sucking the beer out of a shag carpet!

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Been hanging out with Barney Gumble lately?

Believe it or not, a large percentege of women your age cannot have an orgasm... You have to experiment with your own body to find out what you like and what you don't like, and then communicate it to your guy...

As for him not wanting to go down on you... I can't believe I'm going to say this (because I'm a guy), but if he won't do for you, then tell him you won't do for him anymore... I know it's manipulative, but he'll eventually cave...

Oh yeah... shaving (or at least trimming) down town really is a good idea...

Yes, Sheath - I am a "lush"...

And here in South Cacky-Lacky, if you spill your last beer on the shag carpet on a Sunday, well...

Need I say more?

Okay, before you can get irritated at him for not providing you with something, you have to first figure out what it is that he's not providing you with. A vibrator is a good thing. Fingers work well, too.

Now, the thing to keep in mind is that some women orgasm differently - clitoral, vaginal, and g-spot. For me, it's clitoral. It might be for you as well. So, the first thing to do is.....find your clitoris. If you are unfamilar with your body, then you might want to do an internet search and get close with a mirror. Once you find that little button, then you can either use your fingers or your vibe and stimulate it. Some woman need lots of hard stimulation to get off, others find too much pressure hurts. You simply need to play around to get comfortable. A lot of women get a vibrator, shove it in their vagina, and then wonder why they don't get off. Well, if you need clitoral stimulation, that vibe in your vagina isn't going to help much!

Some women like to have something in their vagina as they get off, others don't. That's something you need to figure out for you. What you might want to try is rub your clit during sex and see what happens. (This is how I get off with my S/O) However, be careful. An inexperienced man will often think that his dick should be providing you with all the pleasure you need, and if he looks down and sees you rubbing your clit (or using a vibrator, heaven forbid!), he may get upset.

As far as him going down on you? Well, the same norms that were around when I was young are still there. Most inexperienced men do not/will not go down on a woman. The reasons vary: taste, looks, smell, you name it. However, I remember once a long time ago I read a letter to Penthouse about a woman complaining her man wouldn't do oral. (This was in the early 80s, so you know this has truly been around for a LONG time!) I'll never forget Penthouse's response: "There is absolutely nothing distasteful about a woman in good health." Now, even though I showed this to my boyfriend at the time, he still wouldn't go down on me. I guess that's why he eventually became an "ex". ~shrug~

I would not play the game of you-don't-do-this-I-won't-do-that. Very childish and not the way adults should handle relationships. The man I'm with now does't go down on me every time, though I will do oral on him most times. It truly doesn't matter to me because he always makes certain I orgasm as many times as possible. He is considerate and that goes a long way with me.

Your boyfriend may seem inconsiderate, but I think he is just inexperienced. If you were his first, he probably doesn't have a clue as to what a woman wants or expects. And if you have no idea what to do to bring about the desired conclusion, well, can you see the train wreck about to happen?

Better to communicate and talk to him, rather than play games. He may never get to the point of being able to do oral. But he can learn to be a considerate lover. Then you have to decide what it is you want.

Good luck!

midwestyankee said:

You mean this isn't common knowledge?

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Is it?

Where and how does one procure such useful knowledge?



S.

sheath said:

Is it?

Where and how does one procure such useful knowledge?



S.

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I plead the fifth. Well, I know there's a fifth involved here somehow. And college was so long ago.

SexyChele said:

Better to communicate and talk to him, rather than play games. He may never get to the point of being able to do oral. But he can learn to be a considerate lover. Then you have to decide what it is you want.

Good luck!

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Turns out that events outside both of our control caused us to have a long conversation about it. I explained to him that I'd like it if he would go down on me at least once out of the times we have sex. He told me that he wanted to do it for me, it's just that he doesn't like the taste of it.

I thought about it and then I told him that I didn't want him doing anything he wasn't comfortable doing. He said that the only way he would get comfortable with it is doing it more often. So I think we've come to some sort of agreement.

I try and stay trimmed down. I prefer the feel of less hair. I've never tried shaving it completely off. Does it itch growing back? And what can I do about the taste?

Does it itch growing back? And what can I do about the taste?

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It shouldn't. I seem to remember it itching when I first started shaving, but that was very long ago, and I was probably using an old-fashioned safety razor of the type I don't think even exists anymore. If you use disposables, which most people do, change your razor out pretty often. The sharper it is, the better it will work.

You should not taste objectionable as long as you stay clean. A little bit of mild soap and lots of water, on a daily basis and more often if the weather's hot and you've been working out. Your diet can have an influence on the way you taste. Alcohol, tobacco and asparagus can lead to a bitter taste. I've heard it said that vegetarians taste better than carnivores, and that eating pineapple a lot can make you taste sweet. However, I eat what I please and my husband has never complained, except when I was pregnant and hormonal changes caused a taste which he described as "musty" and I had to do without.

Avoid FDS and douches. They're bad for you.

Once your man has brought himself to go down on you, thank him by giving him a big, enthusiastic kiss. That should help to reinforce the idea that there is nothing wrong with the way you taste.

try this

once you figure out your personal preferences for what leads you to orgasm (which has been thoroughly covered to this point) you might try this little "game."

switch your roles on a weekly basis (or more or less often depending on how often you hook up). one week you have the right to make sexual decisions about foreplay, intercourse, games, toys, etc. and the next week he gets to make all the decisions. it's a great way to share the experience and you each get what you want on a fairly regular basis.

He told me that he wanted to do it for me, it's just that he doesn't like the taste of it.

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I see this as a huge cop out. This is a bad excuse. All I can say is take a shower right before you have sex and see what he has to say then...if he still uses that excuse Id reconsider the relationship.

Tell him you want it. If he doesnt eat up like a man kick him to the curb. You dont want a guy who wont eat your pussy.

doesnt like the taste!!!!! that is a cop out. get him in the shower and let go down on you there. the water dillutes the taste, that might help chane his mind. or cover your self in chocolate.
hmmmm chocolate pussy.

does he know about literotica?
perhaps you could both view this together?
read some of the stories and pick out a couple that interest the pair of you.

As for your taste - im sure you taste fine, but very different to anything he's tasted before. The shower idea to dilute is good, so are flavoured lotions/drops.
You could try to role model for him, you taste yourself first and then get him to retry it? Put your finger inside your virgina and then lick of your own juices. If the poor lad can withstand this and not want to join in?

Well, if i had to do away with every sexual practice in the world and only be allowed to keep one, I and every female i know, would find it very hard to give this one up.

Once youve learnt to bring yourself to orgasm, then you will be able to teach him the technique. Lots of encouragement and if and only IF he's a good boy, you can suck his cock in gratitude, or perhaps suggest a 69 so that he's distracted a little.

I am i guy and i like going down on girls. It has to be shaved tho if it is all out of control i aint touching it. Also maybe he is scared and just isnt sure if he know what to do so maybe help him out down there. I bet if he does it once he will again and agian and again!!!!

or cover your self in chocolate.

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You're probably better off with flavored things made for the purpose. You want to watch out putting sugary things in the vaginal area--could lead to pH imbalances and yeast infections. Yeast infections are a major bummer, especially for the person suffering from them.

sit him down and say look don't expect a wickid blowjob if you won't go down on me cause it ain't happening

When I was younger and was new to going down on my g/f's I was not for it at all....either they did not shave or more so I did not enjoy it...did not like the taste and did not know what I was doing.

After several radio shows of Sunday night Sex with Sue I remember one night someone complained about not being able to orgasm wither her b/f durring sex and Sue went opn to explain that many women can not orgasm durring "penis thrusting in vagina" Now this was many many years ago and I still remember this as clear as day because I just could not imagine what felt so good for me could not do the same for someone else I was with.
My g/f at the time was the first to benifit from my new found wisdom and sure, the first few times were not much better but as I did it more and more I became more and more used to it till I started to really enjoy it.

If someone really cares about you and how you feel and wants to please you and not themselves they will be more then willing to do what it takes to please you. I do not think I have been with someone in atleast seven years where some nice and fun oral action was not the "opening show"

Another nice bonus is while he is down there he has two free hands and between his hands, mouth and your toy he should be able to help you have all kinds of fun.
Since he can not talk with his mouth full this is your chance to talk/maon and direct him, feel free to use your hands and if he is busy down there and you enjoy your breasts being felt let him see you play with yours, he will probably try and help. Keep in Mind that is you help guide him to a point where it is best for you it will help him feel more positive about what he can do and be more likely next time out want to drive you crazy with his "skillz"

goodluck and welcome to a whole new world