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how to land a friend?

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guywithglasses

Experienced
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Mar 22, 2004
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ok, so i have a major crush/thing for a very cool friend of mine. i have a very good idea that she perhaps may have a thing for me as well, but like all things, i am very weary of ruining our friendship over stupid petty, stuff. you know? she also has a LOT more experience that i do, however, i think there definatly is an attraction, we flirt, we talk about all things, and i think we really like each otehr.

so my question would be, what should i do? i am afraid to waut because i would hate to lose her, or should i wait till i get more definitive proof??? has anyone been in a situation like this, how did it turn out??

thanks for the info
 
IMO, I would carry on like you are but adding a bit more to the flirting.

You dont want to make it obvious, but you want her to know you like her more than a friend.

Here is a scenario, you and a few of your friends go out to eat, sitting in a booth or somewhere, where you and her have to sit side by side.

After dinner, you sit back drinking a coffee or finishing a beer and you slip your hand behind her back, along the top of the booth, just grazing her shoulder, DO NOT PUT IT ON HER SHOULDER!

As you and your friends continue to chat, gently start to stroke your thumb across her shoulder or neck, somewhere where only the two of you know you are doing it. This will show her you are interested, and send heat waves through out her whole body!

Its a start!
Am I being too old fashioned guys? lol
Cealy
 
thats a great idea.....thanks a lot. we go to the movies a lot, we both work in the industry, any good...non crazy moves to make there, but similar???? i dont and cant be blazingly obvious, ya know
 
I firmly believe more people lose opportunities to find a true mate by pussy footing around, afraid to just come out and ask "What do you think about getting romatically involved?"

ASK HER. If she's a true friend, she'll tell you yes or no, if she says no, you can go back to the way things were (maybe) and still have your friend. If she says yes, well from there the sky is the limit.
 
I'd pussyfoot just a bit more than that -- 'have you ever Thought About getting romantically involved?' Gives her an out to say something about having thought about it in the past or something but realized it would never work, treating it as a hypothetical, so you both probably know you are talking about now, without putting her on the spot. Also, it's really important to get your attitude straight first -- playful, interested . (Get that begging look off your face.) So be in a good mood before you got there.

Do this after, or during that flirting you are talking about. Not just out of the blue.
 
Re: how to land a friend?

That's the great thing about being Polyamorous; we are supposed to have sex with our friends.
 
Heh! (WE:D )

Reminds me of the time I had Patsy Ann in nothing but her under-ware, face down on the living room carpet when the rest of our friends (all female) arrived back from the supermarket.

The looks on their faces was priceless!

Never underestimate the power of flirting and a good massage!:cool:
 
Phoenix Stone said:
I'd pussyfoot just a bit more than that -- 'have you ever Thought About getting romantically involved?' Gives her an out to say something about having thought about it in the past or something but realized it would never work, treating it as a hypothetical, so you both probably know you are talking about now, without putting her on the spot. Also, it's really important to get your attitude straight first -- playful, interested . (Get that begging look off your face.) So be in a good mood before you got there.

Do this after, or during that flirting you are talking about. Not just out of the blue.
Click to expand...

i have to agree here. You can be a bit more smooth about it than that. Take your flirting to the next level and see how she responds. Look deeply into her eyes, brush her hair back from her face, tell her she looks sexy, etc. Sometimes if you give these things a gentle nudge, it will happen. If she responds well, ask her out on a date (as in a REAL date instead just hanging out with a bunch of your mutual friends). If she doesn't respond well, you'll know to back off.
 
tough call. you could either a) discover a beautiful relationship with her or b) mess things up and lose her friendship

guess it all depends on how much the friendship means to you..
*shrug*
 
in a movie theater, just do that guy thing of slowly pressing your leg against hers, if she isn't interested she'll move her leg away, unless she is like me and enjoys seeing what will happen next ;)

If you were dealing with me, doing nothing but that for the next 3 or 4 screenings would drive me nuts and I would probably pounce on you after awhile.
 
In my humble opinion, you should tell her. Wait for the correct moment (an intimate place that's special for both of you, a smooth conversation, etc...), and tell her what you are feeling for her.
Worst thing that can happen to you is that she's not interested, but a negative is better than the uncertainty, trust me.

When I was younger, I was really in love with a marvelous girl. We developed a very deep friendship, and I was always worried about wasting our friendship by telling her my feelings. It was a real pain that lasted a whole year (oh my!). It ended the day that she told me that she was dating a guy. That day I exploded. I was so hurt that I threw our friendship away, really hurting her in the process. I had a hard time until I recovered from that...
 
I would reccomend a night crawler on a no. 4 spinner using an overhand cast..

Or maybe a bunch of flowers with a bottle of astroglide.. (Hey, it worked for me once). ;)

Best of luck.
FF
 
this weekend, we are working on a shoot and staying at a large, beachhouse with like, 20 people all sleeping on the floor. i dont know her current situation, i think she may have fouind someone, but i dont think its really anything, so, well see.

i like the movie nudge idea that, i think that will definatly come into play.

but one cool thing is i do know she is freaky, in a good way, and , i dunno, well see what happens. my shyness usually gets the better of me, but i am making a point to change that.
 
here is one weird thing tho, and iu could use some of ya'lls infinite wisdom on this.

shes usually trying to tell me whom i should go out with, but i think that is her, just trying to talk about stuff like that with me, i mean, maybe this is me reading too far into stuff, however, well, its like,

usually if i say, i dont want to do that, it means that I do want to do it. or am i way off track?
 
anything else, subtle, to do doing movies, she digs thats stuff i know, and were always all watching movies, so, thats good stuff to know!
 
guywithglasses said:
here is one weird thing tho, and iu could use some of ya'lls infinite wisdom on this.

shes usually trying to tell me whom i should go out with, but i think that is her, just trying to talk about stuff like that with me, i mean, maybe this is me reading too far into stuff, however, well, its like,

usually if i say, i dont want to do that, it means that I do want to do it. or am i way off track?
Click to expand...

uh?
 
guywithglasses said:
anything else, subtle, to do doing movies, she digs thats stuff i know, and were always all watching movies, so, thats good stuff to know!
Click to expand...

I think the point alot of us are making is that you need to start being not-so-subtle if you want something to happen.
 
i know. i am very shy and its s a very hard, yet important thing that i want to do, and don't want to mess it up. the important thing is taht i know either way. and am not against either turnouts. positive will be awesome, neg means we can still be friends, and i can move on....

thanks for all your info...i appreciate it.
 
dont people tend to do the opposite of what they say'??? thats all i meant by that.usually if i say, i dont want to do that, it means that I do want to do it. or am i way off track?
 
Some girls do the opposite of what they want, because they are nervous.

When she is telling you who you should be going out with, why dont you start telling her who you think you should go out with, by describing her to a "T"? Once youve done that, ask her if it reminds her of someone. Its a chance worth taking isnt it?

Cealy
 
just an update, things are going well. i know shes interested in me, so well see how it goes!!!

thanls for the great input, feel free to leave some pointers, ill needs em!

thanks again
 
I was in the same position you were...oh at least a dozen times.

I have this horrible tendency to always fall for my close male friends, but I'm too shy to do anything about it. I let 3 or 4 guys go by like this, and then I went to college and I met this guy that I really clicked with.

He flirted with me all the time, he called me 3 or 4 times a day. It was like a no brainer that he liked me....right?

so I decided to tell him, and it turns out he wasn't ready for a relationship having just gotten out of a huge relationship.

And ya know what happened? Today i'm with a different boy who I love, and the boy who I liked is now my best friend in the world. It didn't hurt our relationship at all, we still joke about it. And i'm really glad I told him because otherwise I would have spent months liking him and I never would have found my current bf.

hope my story helps!
 
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