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snarkysnark

Virgin
Joined
Apr 13, 2004
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4
i'd like some help.

i went out on a first date with a girl last weekend, and we hit it off well. it was so easy speaking with her, and we talked about going out again this weekend.

what i was wondering was how do i know when i am supposed to go for the first kiss?

i know it sounds silly, but i ask because i do not have a lot of experience in the dating realm and would like some help.

thanks.
 
snarkysnark said:
i'd like some help.

i went out on a first date with a girl last weekend, and we hit it off well. it was so easy speaking with her, and we talked about going out again this weekend.

what i was wondering was how do i know when i am supposed to go for the first kiss?

i know it sounds silly, but i ask because i do not have a lot of experience in the dating realm and would like some help.

thanks.
Click to expand...



Don't mind me. I'd like an answer to this question myself. lol My timing is just terrible when it comest to stuff like this. I'm either too soon or too late. It's kind of a bitch. Know what I mean?
 
You'll have to initiate it...

Look into her eyes... Gently stroke her hair... Then glance down at her lips... Look back into her eyes... Move your other hand to her lower back... Then slowly lean in... If she doesn't move back, the time's right...
 
Unfortunately, the answer to this age old question is that there is no answer. It comes down to experience in reading the signals a woman puts off and since you are new to this you probably have to go with your gut, hard I know (or you wouldn't be asking).

Signals to look for: she looks at your lips while talking to you, she touches you in an affectionate way throughout the date, she licks her lips often, she sits close to you when she has the option not to, she leans into you when talking to you, she giggles/smiles a lot.

Not kissing her on a second date would not be the end of the world. If she agrees to a third date.....you can safely assume a kiss is ok.

Trust your instincts.....if she's open, relaxed and playful I think you are good to go. If you aren't sensing a mutual attraction, you are probably right and should forget the kiss.

If you are really struggling......ask her......but that is easier said than done I know.

Good luck.
 
ok this may sound totally old fashioned and cheesy, but the guy who did this scored HUGE points with me!

ASK HER!!:D

The guy in question for me had walked me to my door at the end of a really great evening and as I went to hug him goodbye he just piped right up and said,
" I hope this doesn't offend you, but I've been dying to kiss you all night and I was wondering if you'd mind if I did?"
I was flattered that there were still men in the world who thought to actually ask before making a move, and doubly flattered that he was at least acting as if he respected me enough to be open and up front with me.
He got a lot more then a kiss that night.;)
 
dont feel silly, my first kiss story is the funniest

is was sitting on a beach watching the sunset, and my gal started kissing my neck for "fun"...lol..i could get the hint and she kept doing that...till she got tired of me not taking the hint...then as we where walking back to the car, i decided i was being silly and just took her in my arms and :kiss:


if u are physically close, hugs etc..then a kiss is a normal step

look for the signs of her looking deep into yah eyes and being really close to you ( if that make sense )

go to a quiet place and just sit together, and see where the mood takes you:)

good luck...the first kiss is always electric
 
Hahaha, well I can tell you what not to do. It took me three months to first kiss my SO and it was so bad...

Don't look around nervously and start to mumble, "I'm going to do something now...". Don't put your hand over her eyes, give a quick peck, and turn away. Granted, this was a 17 year old girl who had never had a boyfriend nor kissed anyone before, so it was almost guarenteed to be awkward.

I'd say definitely go for it after a really nice date where you know she had a great time, too. Asking to kiss is really cute, and at least that way, if she doesn't want to kiss you for any reason, it can be polite and formal. I know people like to be spontaneous, but sometimes spontaneous leads to awkward moments or slaps in the face.

...You can tell I have zero experience on the subject. :p
 
I've read a gazillion "Seventeen" Magazine articles on this very subject! :) However, in my own experience, i think when you walk her to her door is a good time to go for it. She'll be expecting you to make some kind of move, so she won't be caught off guard. I like the idea of asking her....it's very sweet, but you don't have to if that seems unnatural to you. If she's smiling and having a good time, you'll know that it's okay to go for it.
 
Okay, I'm going to disagree with the "ask her" thing. I've always hated it. I mean, things are going well, you can tell the guy is a bit nervous. Your expecting him to lean in, give a small smile, and just do it. And what happens? "Can I kiss you?" WTF!?!? How am I supposed to respond? "Uh, I suppose so." Then what? How does one prepare? "Oh, excuse me, I have to get in exactly the right position. And pucker up lips, yes, that's important. Oh wait! Got too much lipstick on, let me get a tissue and wipe some off first. Okay, okay, I think I'm ready. Uh-oh, hold on, I think some one is coming!"

Seriously, a man asking to kiss me has always made me feel even more awkward about it than him just doing it. Also made me feel as though he was fearful of taking the lead, and I prefer a man to be in control - not one to be lead around by me.

:rolleyes:

What to do if you are unsure? At the end of the date, as you are telling her what a wonderful time you had, give her a hug. Yes, a hug. Not too tight (don't want to be an octopus here) and not too light. Maybe just a light squeeze. Then? Give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

Lets her know you're interested in her and willing to respect whatever boundaries she may have. Of course, if she expects more, she may turn her face towards you. Then, go for the lips. If you feel her pulling away from the hug, she's not interested.

Though, if you got a second date, the odds do look good.
 
SexyChele said:
Okay, I'm going to disagree with the "ask her" thing. I've always hated it. I mean, things are going well, you can tell the guy is a bit nervous. Your expecting him to lean in, give a small smile, and just do it. And what happens? "Can I kiss you?" WTF!?!? How am I supposed to respond? "Uh, I suppose so." Then what? How does one prepare? "Oh, excuse me, I have to get in exactly the right position. And pucker up lips, yes, that's important. Oh wait! Got too much lipstick on, let me get a tissue and wipe some off first. Okay, okay, I think I'm ready. Uh-oh, hold on, I think some one is coming!"

Seriously, a man asking to kiss me has always made me feel even more awkward about it than him just doing it. Also made me feel as though he was fearful of taking the lead, and I prefer a man to be in control - not one to be lead around by me.

:rolleyes:

Click to expand...


This is why it must be hard to be the guy in this situation. A guy asking is a turn off to you, however, when it happened to me back when I was 20, I thought it showed respect and I was impressed that he had the guts to ask. Made me feel like he was in control. I never forgot it.....and I've forgotten a lot of moves guys have made over the years.

Obviously it's a tough call but so is just going for it. There's no right way.

Edited to say that I do like the hug suggestion.....it would tell him a lot if she pulled away quickly.
 
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Wait for "the look." She'll move a little bit closer to you, duck her head, look up at you through her lashes, and then angle her head up a tad so it's a perfect position for you to move in. But that's just my opinion. Good luck and all!
 
wow. i appreciate your help.

i am 25 yrs. old. i do feel like i should have more experience with this, but the way the cards fell for me, i guess i do not.

the last girlfriend i had was when i was 21. i met her when i was 19, and those 2 years were the best. shortly after i turned 21 she died. the process took away a lot of my will to deal with life, and with it, any desire to love again or be in love. i mean, in the end, it is all going to end, whether by death or breakup, right?

well, enough years have passed, and well, i got some help, and i realize these thoughts were pretty sillly to put it mildly.

i feel like it is time to get back out there and meet people.

you guys are really cool, and i am glad i found this board. i actually typed first kiss into google, and somewhere in one of the hits this site came up. i got kinda curious and here i am.

thanks a bunch.

i was kind of dreading our second date, but i know have hope/faith in me renewed. i am really stoked as i should be!

:)
 
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Lynnezertorte said:
This is why it must be hard to be the guy in this situation. A guy asking is a turn off to you, however, when it happened to me back when I was 20, I thought it showed respect and I was impressed that he had the guts to ask. Made me feel like he was in control. I never forgot it.....and I've forgotten a lot of moves guys have made over the years.

Obviously it's a tough call but so is just going for it. There's no right way.

Edited to say that I do like the hug suggestion.....it would tell him a lot if she pulled away quickly.
Click to expand...


Yeah, us womens can be completely mysterious at times!

I used to have a roommate who felt insulted if a man didn't ask to kiss her for the first time, so go figure. I guess this means we are all different. Not that it diminishes this poor fellow's confusion!
 
snarkysnark said:
wow. i appreciate your help.

i am 25 yrs. old. i do feel like i should have more experience with this, but the way the cards fell for me, i guess i do not.

the last girlfriend i had was when i was 21. i met her when i was 19, and those 2 years were the best. shortly after i turned 21 she died. the process took away a lot of my will to deal with life, and with it, any desire to love again or be in love. i mean, in the end, it is all going to end, whether by death or breakup, right?

well, enough years have passed, and well, i got some help, and i realize these thoughts were pretty sillly to put it mildly.

i feel like it is time to get back out there and meet people.

you guys are really cool, and i am glad i found this board. i actually typed first kiss into google, and somewhere in one of the hits this site came up. i got kinda curious and here i am.

thanks a bunch.

i was kind of dreading our second date, but i know have hope/faith in me renewed. i am really stoked as i should be!

:)
Click to expand...


It sounds like you've been down a sad, hard road, snark. You're due for some happiness. I wish you luck, and as always with we voyeurs at Lit, let us know what happens.;)! In detail.

Welcome to Lit, by the way!
 
SexyChele said:
Yeah, us womens can be completely mysterious at times!
Click to expand...

Oh man, you wimminfolk.. You have no idea.


SexyChele said:
I used to have a roommate who felt insulted if a man didn't ask to kiss her for the first time, so go figure. I guess this means we are all different. Not that it diminishes this poor fellow's confusion!
Click to expand...

I have used the 'ask first' move in the past. It's worked well for me, for some simple reasons I think.

1) What type of girl is she? Get her to talk about everyones favorite subject - themselves. Listen, and I mean listen to her. Does she seem like the spontanious type? If so, the whole asking thing might not go over so well. If she seems like she's more, 'traditional' (for lack of a better term) then it may go over very well indeed.

2) Whatever you choose, be *confident*. Don't ask timidly. Everyone likes confidence in their dates, or heck, even just their friends.

3) If you're going to be the question-asking type, don't blurt it out of nowhere. Don't be too surprising with it. Asking during a discussion about last nights hockey game is probably a bad idea. Set the mood, follow through with the question. Might wanna re-word the question itself, not just 'Can I kiss you?'.. 'May I steal a kiss?' or whatever (depends on the gal).. Remember, romance, you're not asking for a super-size at the drive-thru.

Good luck with it!
 
Apparently, if you're a guy and find yourself in this situation, you can do no right.


Fucking bummer. I used the "Ask First" approach on one occasion. It worked, but it lacked a certain charisma, as she knew to expect it. It was very brief, too. I pulled away because I lost interest. We stopped talking after that. She's married now, with two kids, one of them is my cousin's. lol Apparently he found something about her that appealed to him moreso than she appealed to me. She was appealing at first, but as I got to know her I found out she was dumber than a bag of wind. Also, seeing how she slept with my cousin she is now marked as "DIRTY" in my eyes. I hope she enjoyed gonnorhea.
 
incognito989 said:
Oh man, you wimminfolk.. You have no idea.




I have used the 'ask first' move in the past. It's worked well for me, for some simple reasons I think.

1) What type of girl is she? Get her to talk about everyones favorite subject - themselves. Listen, and I mean listen to her. Does she seem like the spontanious type? If so, the whole asking thing might not go over so well. If she seems like she's more, 'traditional' (for lack of a better term) then it may go over very well indeed.

2) Whatever you choose, be *confident*. Don't ask timidly. Everyone likes confidence in their dates, or heck, even just their friends.

3) If you're going to be the question-asking type, don't blurt it out of nowhere. Don't be too surprising with it. Asking during a discussion about last nights hockey game is probably a bad idea. Set the mood, follow through with the question. Might wanna re-word the question itself, not just 'Can I kiss you?'.. 'May I steal a kiss?' or whatever (depends on the gal).. Remember, romance, you're not asking for a super-size at the drive-thru.

Good luck with it!
Click to expand...

Ok, normally I think you are right on incognito but I gotta disagree with you on this one......"May I steal a kiss?" just sounds cheesy. It sounds like a line......."Would it be alright if I kissed you?" is stratightforward, it doesn't sound cheesy and can be said with a seriously romantic tone especially if he's looking directly in her eyes as he says it. It's to the point and isn't trying to disguise the true intention, which is a nice mouth watering kiss.

But again, it's just my opiniion and other females might like it phrased as stealing a kiss. Because as we've all discovered we're all different in our likes and dislikes.
 
Bigg_Capone said:
Apparently, if you're a guy and find yourself in this situation, you can do no right.


Fucking bummer. I used the "Ask First" approach on one occasion. It worked, but it lacked a certain charisma, as she knew to expect it. It was very brief, too. I pulled away because I lost interest. We stopped talking after that. She's married now, with two kids, one of them is my cousin's. lol Apparently he found something about her that appealed to him moreso than she appealed to me. She was appealing at first, but as I got to know her I found out she was dumber than a bag of wind. Also, seeing how she slept with my cousin she is now marked as "DIRTY" in my eyes. I hope she enjoyed gonnorhea.
Click to expand...

That's not really true Capone.

Incognito had it right when he said it's about listening to the woman. Taking the time to get to know someone makes the "should I/shouldn't I" question much easier. You should be able to get a sense from her as to whether a kiss is acceptable or not. But it also comes down to experience and you'll get there...sooner than you think.

We're a tough bunch, us females, but we do give off pretty good signals because after all, if we are looking for that kiss, we want you to know it so that we can get it. :D
 
Lynnezertorte said:
... but I gotta disagree with you on this one......"May I steal a kiss?" just sounds cheesy. It sounds like a line......."Would it be alright if I kissed you?"
Click to expand...

Bleh :)

Basically, the point I was trying to get across was that it shouldn't sound like 'I'd like a super-sized number 1, without pickle, with a coke without ice' is all. The example was just that, and it largely depends on the situation/woman I guess :D

Ah well, can't win 'em all, can we?
 
incognito989 said:
Bleh :)

Basically, the point I was trying to get across was that it shouldn't sound like 'I'd like a super-sized number 1, without pickle, with a coke without ice' is all. The example was just that, and it largely depends on the situation/woman I guess :D

Ah well, can't win 'em all, can we?
Click to expand...

I get your point incognito and it's probably just me anyway. I recently went out on a date with a guy that used every line in the book and it still makes me shutter to think of him. :D
 
I agree with SexyChele...I like a man who takes control.

The sexiest, most amazing first kiss I ever had...*sigh* Makes me shiver just to think of it...

He stepped right up to me, not touching but close enough that I could feel the heat of his body...looked into my eyes with a gentle smile and said very softly, "I'm going to kiss you. If you want to stop me, stop me now."

Of course, while I was dumbfounded by this particular little announcement, he kissed me. And it was amazing. :rose:

S.
 
It seems like forever since I have had the opportunity...

However, I believe I would approach the situation like this: While standing or sitting close to the woman in question, I would smile, say quietly, "Come here." and then reach for her cheek. With my fingertips just under her jawbone, I'd gently draw her to me, tip her head slightly, offer a soft and lingering kiss and not even consider stopping until I heard her sigh.
 
midwestyankee said:
It seems like forever since I have had the opportunity...

However, I believe I would approach the situation like this: While standing or sitting close to the woman in question, I would smile, say quietly, "Come here." and then reach for her cheek. With my fingertips just under her jawbone, I'd gently draw her to me, tip her head slightly, offer a soft and lingering kiss and not even consider stopping until I heard her sigh.
Click to expand...

:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

You won me over.......
 
Lynnezertorte said:
I get your point incognito and it's probably just me anyway. I recently went out on a date with a guy that used every line in the book and it still makes me shutter to think of him. :D
Click to expand...

You must be tired.....


Been running through my mind all day!



:D

Ok, I'll stop now.




Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!





I mean it, I'll stop......




Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven?



Ok, too much even for me...
 
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