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Straight Wife, Perverted Husband

Cardinal

Cardinal

Really Experienced
Joined
Oct 13, 2001
Posts
949
How do you get your straight wife to indulge your "adventerious" fantasies?
I have a list as long as my arm with things that I would like for us to try, but she doesn't seem to interested in my perversions.
Any advice would be great!!
 
Start slow. Maybe find out what some of her fantasies are and work on those first. Talking about fantasies outside of the bedroom is a good idea. Or maybe if it feels right, mentioning something relating to one of your fantasies while making love to her. Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. Sorry.
 
Cardinal said:
How do you get your straight wife to indulge your "adventerious" fantasies?
I have a list as long as my arm with things that I would like for us to try, but she doesn't seem to interested in my perversions.
Any advice would be great!!
Click to expand...

Talk to her about it. I tried this with me wife a little while ago, it opened up everything for us.

I asked her to make a list of things that she wanted to try or even fantasized about. I made a similar list and we exchanged them. Before we looked at the lists we made it clear that we wouldn't judge each other or freak out. They were use to begin a discussion.

Getting her to read Lit helps too. That way she'll see that other people are into your/her kinks and you are not alone.

Now we're having the best sex I've ever had.
 
Suggest some reading...

Like stories here on Lit or Penthouse letters. I would just talk about things and not push them. Just talk. Let it be her idea to try things.
 
Was she "straight" when you met and married her? Or is this something new?

Many women like me go through life not realizing that sex is about THEM in addition to the man. For years I thought of sex as something that was more important to a man than me and in fact anything other than vanilla sex scared the beegeezus out of me. It never occured to me that it was suppose to be about my enjoyment as well (hard to believe but it just never dawned on me). When I hit 40 the light bulb went off and it totally changed my outlook. Now I'm an "anything goes" type girl....well almost, I still have some quirks.

Funny enough, the Fantasy board at Village.com played a part in opening my eyes. Go figure!

For a while, make the sexual experiences that you do have time to share more about her (really concentrate on just her pleasure). Leave your gratification out of the mix on occasion and she might start to see that it's about her gratification more than yours (in her own mind). Which might open her up to venturing a little further. Just a thought.

Edited to say: She might be looking at your suggestions as just another way for you to get your needs met...not realizing that she can get her needs met as well. Try phrasing your desires from her point of view.....how will it bring her pleasure.
 
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Re: Re: Straight Wife, Perverted Husband

Relentless said:

Now we're having the best sex I've ever had.
Click to expand...

Curious......you write that "we're" having the best sex "I've" ever had. How's it working out for her? Just wondering. :D

Edited to: add a smiley face
 
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I agree that you should start slowly and plant the seeds of fantasy. In my opinion, women are more word-centered than men (who seem more visual-oriented) so maybe give her some reading material (mild at first) to open up her imagination.

Good luck.
 
Re: Re: Re: Straight Wife, Perverted Husband

Lynnezertorte said:
Curious......you write that "we're" having the best sex "I've" ever had. How's it working out for her? Just wondering.
Click to expand...

Okay, that was really bad phrasing on my part.....

I said I've because I can't speak for her. She had more experience when we got together, so it is possible that the best sex for her was with someone else. I hope not (ego stroke), but it's possible. :)

We are both enjoying our newly expressed kinks. We're behaving like a couple of teenagers again (who was that said "second adolescence?") and we're freaking out the kids. It's all great fun. :)
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Straight Wife, Perverted Husband

Relentless said:
We are both enjoying our newly expressed kinks. We're behaving like a couple of teenagers again (who was that said "second adolescence?") and we're freaking out the kids. It's all great fun. :)
Click to expand...

I'm glad for you, there's nothing better than reinventing the wheel for ourselves.....a brand new outlook!.....and I actually meant my post as a joke but left off the smiley face.....:D
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Straight Wife, Perverted Husband

Lynnezertorte said:
and I actually meant my post as a joke but left off the smiley face.....:D
Click to expand...

It was a fair question. :) I mean "she" could have been a well used blowup doll! :D

Still shaking head at horrible wording....
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Straight Wife, Perverted Husband

Relentless said:
It was a fair question. :) I mean "she" could have been a well used blowup doll! :D

Still shaking head at horrible wording....
Click to expand...

Gosh, don't worry about it......it's not like you meant it. Just a slip of the keyboard......go back and edit it if that would make you feel better.
 
Cardinal said:
How do you get your straight wife to indulge your "adventerious" fantasies?
I have a list as long as my arm with things that I would like for us to try, but she doesn't seem to interested in my perversions.
Any advice would be great!!
Click to expand...

Yeah, Well good luck to you!

I never met a female that I had sex with more than twice that I couldn't corrupt, bring out the wild side, or talk into exploring her kinky fantacies...until the woman I'm married to now.

What's the world coming to?:confused:
 
Im not gonna read all the suggestions - only say that the thing that worked with me was having him rent pornos and watching them together. .. it perked my curiousity side.
 
I never met a female that I had sex with more than twice that I couldn't corrupt, bri

Yeah, I have had the same experience with women and my wife, maybe that's what attracted us to them. However, since I love her so much I want to open up to her even more and let her know everything that I like or want to do.
In other word I have no respect for the women that let me tie them up, shave their pussys, and then use a dildo on them until they scream, and rcord the whole thing on tape.
But because I love my wife I would actually enjoy the above experience rather than make it a notch in my gun, if you know what I mean. I want to open myself up totally to her because I know that she is my life partner and I know that I can trust her, unlike girls that I dated. When we are old and gray I don't want to have any regrets in life either sexual life, business life, or personal life. I want to know that we trust and love each other to tell or show each other anything, but that is not where our relationship is right now. It's not because of time, we have been together for 15 years+. She is just vanilla, but I love her!
 
Re: I never met a female that I had sex with more than twice that I couldn't corrupt, bri

Cardinal said:

In other word I have no respect for the women that let me tie them up, shave their pussys, and then use a dildo on them until they scream, and rcord the whole thing on tape.
Click to expand...

I'm trying to understand the above statement. Are you saying that women in your past that were open sexually and were willing to explore beyond the missionary position deserve no respect?

And men wonder why women aren't more free with their sexuality. It's ingrained in our heads that men don't want to be with women that are kinky.....kinky women aren't the women men marry or want to take home to mother. It shouldn't be that way but your statement backs up that antiquated mindset. God forbid a woman enjoy being tied up, having their pussies shaved, etc..

Maybe your wife is aware of your lack of respect for previous partners and worries that once she crosses the line past vanilla sex you will no longer respect her?
 
NO, my point is tht the previous women were too eager to "give it away" slutty, they had no self respect and the way that they thought they could get love from a man was to be the whore that they thought I wanted, which I did at the time but I wasn't looking for love, ironic. They thought that they would get love by being a whore but it was just the opposite.
Women should be more conservative while dating and then become the whores that we want when we are married. We already love and respect them so it makes all love better, if you love and respect someone when they are getting freaky you can still love and respect them the next morning.
I hope that rant makes sense. I maybe a freak or a pervert but I want to be that with the woman that I have chosen to spend my life with.
 
Lynnezertorte said:
I'm speechless.
Click to expand...

I don't usually get in on discussions like this, probably shouldn't now (ducking rotten fruits and veggies coming my way), but I completely agree w/ you. A frown crossed my forehead as I read that last post. I'm hoping there is something there I'm just not understanding.
 
Cardinal said:
NO, my point is tht the previous women were too eager to "give it away" slutty, they had no self respect and the way that they thought they could get love from a man was to be the whore that they thought I wanted, which I did at the time but I wasn't looking for love, ironic. They thought that they would get love by being a whore but it was just the opposite.
Women should be more conservative while dating and then become the whores that we want when we are married.
Click to expand...

Um, this may sound a little harsh, but I've come to consider this scenario as the "married man's karma."

Before I sound too judgemental here, let me ask you something: did these "whores" expect love from you and did you let them think there was a possibility of obtaining it while you used them? (Please, be honest here)

A lot of men do this, and I've never quite figured out why. When single, and not interested in marriage, they tell women they want the slutty clothes, attitude, and behavior. Then, when they decide they would like to settle down, they find that cute little conservative woman who wouldn't spread her legs until she had a ring on her finger. Then these men wonder why this cute little thing they married won't suddenly turn into one of the "whores" they had so much fun with in their single days.

Dude, I like you. Don't know why, but I do. You picked this woman because she was conservative. That's who and what she is. Love her and enjoy her, and most of all....accept her for what and who she is.
 
CutieMouse said:
Cardinal your comments came across as a guy who bought into the virgin/whore myth and I personally think that's a recipe for dissapointment (and it feels icky to boot). Give your wife a safe place to discover her own sexuality and you'll find balance and happiness sexually speaking for both of you.
Click to expand...

I tend to agree with this...

Cardinal, you say you have been together 15+ years. Did you know she was conservative in the bedroom when you married her? And if you knew she was, did you really expect her to magically change as soon as she had that ring on her finger? When did you begin to mention 'opening up' sexually? Was it very recent, say, within the last year? The last five?

Also...

You said in a previous post: "I want to know that we trust and love each other to tell or show each other anything, but that is not where our relationship is right now."

Think long and hard about this statement. Then ask yourself what this applies to...do you feel this way about all aspects of your life with her? I ask because if you feel this way across the board, then there is one HELL of a big problem that no amount of sex is going to fix.

If you feel this way about things that happen in the bedroom, them maybe you are pushing a little too hard for something that needs patient, careful communication to achieve.

S.
 
Re: I never met a female that I had sex with more than twice that I couldn't corrupt, bri

Cardinal said:
Yeah, I have had the same experience with women and my wife, maybe that's what attracted us to them. However, since I love her so much I want to open up to her even more and let her know everything that I like or want to do.
In other word I have no respect for the women that let me tie them up, shave their pussys, and then use a dildo on them until they scream, and rcord the whole thing on tape.
But because I love my wife I would actually enjoy the above experience rather than make it a notch in my gun, if you know what I mean. I want to open myself up totally to her because I know that she is my life partner and I know that I can trust her, unlike girls that I dated. When we are old and gray I don't want to have any regrets in life either sexual life, business life, or personal life. I want to know that we trust and love each other to tell or show each other anything, but that is not where our relationship is right now. It's not because of time, we have been together for 15 years+. She is just vanilla, but I love her!
Click to expand...


It seems that I need to state my position a little clearer.

What I'm bitching about is that MY wife got all conservative and stingy AFTER we where were married!

Thats right I've been ripped off and abused! Now I know people change, and I have experienced wives changing after marriage but, WTF? I am somewhat kinky and enjoy exploring sexual fantasies of my mate as well as myself.

It is pretty damn clear that ain't happening.

Thats what I'm bitching about. :D
 
SexyChele said:
Um, this may sound a little harsh, but I've come to consider this scenario as the "married man's karma."

Before I sound too judgemental here, let me ask you something: did these "whores" expect love from you and did you let them think there was a possibility of obtaining it while you used them? (Please, be honest here)

A lot of men do this, and I've never quite figured out why. When single, and not interested in marriage, they tell women they want the slutty clothes, attitude, and behavior. Then, when they decide they would like to settle down, they find that cute little conservative woman who wouldn't spread her legs until she had a ring on her finger. Then these men wonder why this cute little thing they married won't suddenly turn into one of the "whores" they had so much fun with in their single days.

Dude, I like you. Don't know why, but I do. You picked this woman because she was conservative. That's who and what she is. Love her and enjoy her, and most of all....accept her for what and who she is.
Click to expand...


Yep, us women are born with "whore" buttons that we keep turned off until that ring is on our finger and then we just flip it on when it's appropriate to be the "whore". But unfortunately there are some women out there that have a short in their button and it either triggers early or it doesn't work when the husband wants it to.

But women that were/are "slutty" do get married. I wonder how the husbands of those "whores" that Cardinal didn't respect are making out?....probably better than him!

Okay, I've got it out of my system.

:D
 
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:eek:

I had almost forgotten that men who subscribe to that old double standard still exist!

chele is right on; this boy iz sittin up to the neck in his own karma stew.
 
Re: Re: I never met a female that I had sex with more than twice that I couldn't corrupt, bri

fgarvb1 said:
It seems that I need to state my position a little clearer.

What I'm bitching about is that MY wife got all conservative and stingy AFTER we where were married!

Thats right I've been ripped off and abused! Now I know people change, and I have experienced wives changing after marriage but, WTF? I am somewhat kinky and enjoy exploring sexual fantasies of my mate as well as myself.

It is pretty damn clear that ain't happening.

Thats what I'm bitching about. :D
Click to expand...


I have no idea why this happens, but it seems a common dilemma for a lot of married men. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this!
 
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