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Why is obesity so prevalent amongst BDSM practitioners?

Mr Blonde

Mr Blonde

Literotica Guru
Joined
Nov 11, 2001
Posts
864
First off, I am on the heavier side of normal myself. That does not mean I am unattractive or in poor health. People can be "overweight" without being social pariahs or socially inept. I have seen desirable/attractive women who are a good 20-50 lbs above their ideal weight.

But why are so many BDSM people heavy? I can't think of any systematic theories. Thoughts?
 
I don't think it is bdsm related. Everywhere I go I see fat people, not just overweight, but obese. The one bdsm group I visited, if anything, they were skinnier than average as a whole.
 
I belong to many clubs...in different parts of the world. I have also noticed that the numbers of over weight Dom/mes and submissives is the norm rather than the unusual.

My theory is that the BDSM community is more accepting and welcoming of all diversities in what society dictates is acceptable.

We in the BDSM community are generally more interested in the dominating skills or submissives realities than W/we are in girth.
 
I think it is a sign of the way we are all going. Since the number of smokers has declined dramatically, weight is the number one health public health crisis.
 
We're more attuned to different kinds of beauty, definitely, and more accepting of diversity in body types, but I have this little pet theory...

people who really really get into working out are usually kept on track, at least partly, by the chemical rewards of the endorphin rush. I know this to be the case...

some of us get that addressed in a different way.

It's unsupported, but I think partly logical.

Also, if you're looking at any sample of people in the US...size 14 in the AVERAGE in women, that's where plus sizes begin, folks.

I'm all for acceptance, and I could stand to hit the treadmill myself, but obesity is definitely on the rise here, and it amazes me how little most people know about basic *basic* nutrition. (A burger without a bun and a scoop of full fat cottage cheese on a salad with canned fruit is not um, "light".)
 
Netzach said:

Also, if you're looking at any sample of people in the US...size 14 in the AVERAGE in women, that's where plus sizes begin, folks.

Click to expand...

Is it true that every dress size you lose is 10 pounds?
 
WriterDom said:
Is it true that every dress size you lose is 10 pounds?
Click to expand...

I don't think so, I've lost over 20 lbs in the last couple of months but haven't lost 2 sizes yet. :(
 
WriterDom said:
Is it true that every dress size you lose is 10 pounds?
Click to expand...

Actually WD that hasn't been the case for me either. I've lost around 30 pounds in the last year and only 2 dress sizes. However, I'm sure individual results will vary... ;)
 
as others have said, i think it's just an issue of most people in the western world these days being overweight...significantly overweight. we're a very unhealthy culture and it doesn't seem to be getting better anytime soon. i haven't noticed there being more larger people in the lifestyle than there are in the vanilla world or anywhere else. thin, underweight, or highly fit people are just a rarity in the west, everywhere. often Daddy and i hear that we're such a physically attractive couple, but i think this is more due to the fact that i'm on the slim side and he's muscular without a gut. however i think we've been fortunate in our experiences, as we have never had a problem at all meeting others in the lifestyle who are in shape.
 
Shadowsdream said:
I belong to many clubs...in different parts of the world. I have also noticed that the numbers of over weight Dom/mes and submissives is the norm rather than the unusual.

My theory is that the BDSM community is more accepting and welcoming of all diversities in what society dictates is acceptable.

We in the BDSM community are generally more interested in the dominating skills or submissives realities than W/we are in girth.
Click to expand...

Thank you for saying it in a much nicer way than I would of. I do so get tired of society telling me what I should look like or be. I am who I am and proud of it!!!!!
Scarlett
:kiss:
 
Okay, time to plod along in slooooow motion and prove that BDSM people are heavier than average vanilla people.

I am a writer who reads through personal ads to assemble composite characters. I do not look for prettiest or ugliest or who I want to date -- I am looking for typical people. This week I have used Nerve.com and Bondage.com to research over 2500 profiles for 24-36 year old people. It was impossible NOT to notice that the BDSM people were clearly heavier than the vanilla Nerve crowd. I am known for doing statistics so my observations are reliable. So there's the proof: At least when it comes to personal ads, BDSM people seem to be heavier than vanilla people.

If you doubt me, open a local newspaper and flip through the pages looking at pictures of people. Then look through 100+ Bondage.com profiles and tell me I am hallucinating.

So why might this be?

Maybe BDSM people are more comfortable in their own skin. Folks who pack a few extra pounds do not hide in obscurity but feel more comfortable presenting themselves. This means there are heavy vanilla people who remain out of sight due to embarrassment.

Netzach's endorphin theory is one possible explanation of a real difference.

Or maybe BDSM people are indifferent to appearance? I have many vanilla friends who have gotten in shape mainly to attract potential partners. I have never even contemplated such a thing. Assuming I am not a tub of goo, any women who is attracted to me is not going to care if I am only 10 lbs instead of 30 lbs overweight. Yes, she might object if I was 70 or 140 lbs overweight; but modest differences are minor compared to the requirement that I be a competent Dom.

Any other explanations?
 
Mr. B.

I have insufficient data, except in pictures, but (assumingm for now, that what you say is so) I'd guess that many of the bdsm crowd are seeking something very particular for themselves. They're refined sensualists. And the next best thing to sex is food. So they indulge.

Another issue might be the amount of pairing in your sample; iow, if you're on the prowl there's pressure to look slim and fit.

OTOH, as a few poster have said, your sample could well be skewed. For instance. It's unclear from your sample description if you *looked or *read descriptions or both. In either case, the *willingness to show off one's true weight might be a factor. The bdsm folks are simply more willing (to say 'this is how i am), *even though the percentage of fatties is about the same as the rest of the pop.

In line with this, there may be the belief, say by doms, "It's OK to be fat; that doesn't affect my dom-hood or abilities or sexual powers." So these doms come forward in a way that fat vanillas don't. (Other than being a Sumo wrestler, an ordinary white American or westerner is without excuse.)

Just my 2 cents.
 
Just my opinion, folks, as long as your askin'...:)

It's true, weterners are extremely overweight due to inactivity as well as the way we eat!!

We still think that 'healthy' fast food is really healthy...Especially, for some reason, we tend to do too many things in one day and don't find time to really relax and enjoy that day...

As to the BDSM culture, for lack of better words, I agree that weight preference has little bearing, therefore, more accepting...Granted, some of the people involved may have issues about their weight and they find groups for where they will not be judged by their size...The BDSM 'group' is inexclusive in this theory of mine...

I am overweight and have been judged so I speak of this with experience...My partner and I both need to be healthier and need to lose some of this weight we had gained since we got the ill-famed 'happy fat'...

But, that is another thread, eh?

Rane
 
Well Mr. Blonde,

It's an interesting question and observation you've made. It somewhat correlates to my comment elsewhere about Dom's being in total control of themselves. My confusion was perhaps a misconception that a Dom/me would be something of a disciplinarian and controller of not only others but of themselves as well. Not a nut or freak but someone who took control of their own bodies and lives as seriously as they take controlling others.

Or since that seems to be the direction that I'm heading in does that make me the freak?

It seems to me that physical attractiveness could potentially be just another tool in the arsenal of a Dom/me. Tapping into your sub's lust being another thing you could use.
 
Could it be that match maker sites are by nature, more meat market driven? There you are pretty much going on your pic alone.
 
"I have used Nerve.com and Bondage.com to research over 2500 profiles for 24-36 year old people."

I had never heard of nerve.com, but i looked at it out of curiosity. It appears to be a site where people run personals ads looking for mates.

If that is the case, this research is not statistically valid, since it isn't comparing apples and apples. Bondage.com does not have personals ads, although some people do use the profiles in that manner.

This reminds me of the telephone survey on the 1948 presidential election which established beyond a doubt that Dewey was going to beat Truman. The results were valid, so far as they went- the homes with telephones voted for Dewey. The majority of the population voted for Truman.
 
Mr Blonde said:
Okay, time to plod along in slooooow motion and prove that BDSM people are heavier than average vanilla people.

Maybe BDSM people are more comfortable in their own skin.

Netzach's endorphin theory is one possible explanation of a real difference.

Or maybe BDSM people are indifferent to appearance?

Any other explanations?
Click to expand...
It's difficult to prove it one way or another (at least up to real scientific standards). But my own sense is that your observation is correct.

All good explanations yours.

Question: do you think that it's mostly the subs that are overweight or is it also the Dom(me)s to the same extent? Roughly speaking. I know that this is a very crude generaization.

I have a hypothesis regarding 3-way links between low self-esteem, weight problems, and being a sub. There's some scientific proof for a link between the first two. I don't know about the other two links in that triangle but I think some subs adopt that role partly because of low self-esteem (unfortunately).
 
I would suggest from My own knowledge of Dominants and submissives there is no difference in the percentages of those over weight.



hiddenself said:
It's difficult to prove it one way or another (at least up to real scientific standards). But my own sense is that your observation is correct.

All good explanations yours.

Question: do you think that it's mostly the subs that are overweight or is it also the Dom(me)s to the same extent? Roughly speaking. I know that this is a very crude generaization.

I have a hypothesis regarding 3-way links between low self-esteem, weight problems, and being a sub. There's some scientific proof for a link between the first two. I don't know about the other two links in that triangle but I think some subs adopt that role partly because of low self-esteem (unfortunately).
Click to expand...
 
But Shadow, do you agree that among all doms and subs, there is a greater percentage overweight than among the general population or than among a matched (for age and economic status) 'vanilla' group.
 
I would like my chances of randomly picking thin or average sub in these forums, than randomly picking a Walmart customer as far as obesity goes.
 
Last edited:
But really folks...isn't it all about loving our bodies and accepting each other?

I've found people on the scene to be the most accepting people anywhere.
 
Pure said:
But Shadow, do you agree that among all doms and subs, there is a greater percentage overweight than among the general population or than among a matched (for age and economic status) 'vanilla' group. [/QUOTE
Yes I do agree. My observations come from knowing and playinging the BDSM scene from Europe to the USA and Canada. Both orientations have high percentages...as I see it well over 50% of over weight players. I will also add that the weight of players does not hurt their ability to get partners.
Click to expand...
 
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