PYL "Thought of the Day" calendar 2005

catalina_francisco

Happily insatiable always
Joined
Jul 29, 2002
Posts
18,730
Following the example of Mr Blonde it is time to start the 2005 calendar. Every day we will put in a quote of a PYL, or a switch for that matter or even a domly quote from a pyl.

I hope we can do this all together, all of the PYL who post regular in the BDSM forums of literotica.

I would also like to thank MR Blonde for his original idea and for all of his hard work in the 2004 thread.

Francisco.

January 1

I often think with much embarassment about the time she dressed as a catholic schoolgirl and uttered some of the sultriest, sluttiest most self degrading lines a man could ever hope to hear a gorgeous bitch dressed as a catholic schoolgirl say.

It was too much for my boyish sensibilities. I choked, "wow that was awesome honey."

She was clearly dissapointed, but comitted to acting this out. "Stay in character"

My dick shrunk two sizes that day.

If only I knew then what I know now.

Marquis

January 2

I can't imagine submitting to anyone with any ongoing basis, so that's ruling out the switch factor in me, negligible.

I can imagine being in a relationship of secondary/casual status with another Dominant. Since I already have a submissive primary, the point is kind of moot there.

I don't think I could have a Dominant primary, simply because the personalities never seem to mesh. There is always too much tension. A switch? A top switch who only submits to me periodically? I coud do that, because that willingness to bend makes me more willing to do same, it's sexy to me.

but a Dominant periodic lover of import? A once-a-week fuck friend? Sure.

How would it work? Vanilla, entre-nous. Then we'd share our devious intent with those who would submit to us both. Lots of voyeurism and stuff, sadistic use of torture in order to *get us off*.

Netzach

January 3

Occasionally there is this false online bravado where a dominant takes the stance of "dangers be damned, I’m an edge player!" or boasts about "knocking some sense" into a reluctant submissive. While sometimes it is appropriate to engage in risky behavior or short circuit normal dialogue with firm actions, shouldn't a dominant understand the dangers and perceptions beforehand? What self-respecting submissive would agree to a risky act or rough treatment if they didn't think their partner understood the implications?

Mr Blonde

January 4

<rant>
The problem I have with safewords is that quite frequently, pyl's don't want to use them. Either they're too busy trying to please me (or the PYL) so they soldier on, or you have the people who literally for whatever reason cannot say no. It's their prior training or mindset or something. And then you have the cases where they get into an emotional state where they can't, or they get subspaced. If I screw up the last two, it's my fault and I need to have my ass kicked, please. The first one annoys the hell out of me; it's borderline dishonest and I tend not to deal with these people in a bdsm sense. I don't do stoic, kids. Not telling me that there's something going wrong and bitching about later is not my issue. If you acted like it was all groovy and I went too far because you intentionally did not tell me you were having issues, that's lying, and you just became compliant in your injury. The middle one, the ones who can't say no for some reason. They're a dangerous bunch and I tend to avoid them, too. I guess my real issue about safewords is that some people tend to regard them as a magic word and all the sudden everything is right and good with the world and life is all safe and happy and smurphy and shit. They're not. They do make things a little safer for a person, but this is not hearts and flowers and junior prom. This is blood and sex and tears and primal energy, and it is fucking dangerous sometimes. Safewords are good, but viewing them as some sort of magical incantation to make bdsm all pink and fuzzy is stupid. Don't tell me about your magic safeword and how it's going to save the world; just tell me where to send the flowers.

</rant>

blue kat

January 5

Young buck as I am, I have dealt with impotence in the past. Oftentimes my mental desire for sex exceeds what my body can handle, and this seems especially true when I'm depressed.

I even went so far as acquiring Viagra once, when I was about to go on Spring Break and was worried I would end up smoking in my hotel room all day instead of capturing any of the delicious co-eds. Luckily the bright Jamaica sun and fresh food was all I needed to pull me out of my funk, and I never ended up taking the pills.

Although I did take them later and found they didn't really have a strong effect on me. I just felt very flushed.

I've also found that I can lose my erection simply when I lose my arousal. A smile was enough to get me hard at 13, and a pair of naked tits in front of me would definitely do the trick at 15 or 16, but these days poor chemistry can make jerking off seem like a better option

Marquis
 
January 6

I have always believed a man and woman can be friends even if there is an attraction between them. They just never act on it. I had friendships with women over the years that I never bedded because I respected them and the relationship they were in. But what if they had wanted me? Would I have acted. I was never put to that test. Technically, I still have not been put to that test.

I never questioned a partner that I was with in terms of friendship with another man becuase of my experience and my feelings of friendship. That trust was shattered and I questioned all my beliefs in trust. Especially a male female friendship.

TigerClaw
 
January 7

And, my list isn't any different than someone else's, I'd guess. But, I do have this forum to tease and torment willing (and even some not so willing) females. I love it when my reader's hands begin to explore their own bodies because of something I've written. Such power!

DVS
 
January 8

When we can, we take care of our boys as much as they take care of us. In our opinion, it is a Dominant's job to make sure that their sub is taken care of. If and when one of our boys isnt' feeling well, and we are able to take care of them, of course, we do. One of the other Dommes on here has posted about the same thing - that her orders for any sub who isnt' feeling well are to stay in bed and relax, that is their job until they are feeling better, and there are to be no arguments. While we don't go quite to there, we do make sure that they relax, don't over do it, take meds if they need to, etc. No furniture building/moving while they aren't feeling well ... no major renovations to the house ... (which is what we have been doing a lot of lately) etc.


SweetDommes
 
January 9

PYL/pyl stands for pick-your-label, and is particular to Lit, so far as I know. In fact, I recall this being the creditable invention of AA, he can correct me if I am wrong. It's a very clever aversion of needing to go off on a tangent, as per my following rant.

Online, people are completly hyped about the words, whereas in my 3 dimensional life no one seems to get confused if I refer to my bottom (who is extremely submissive) or my bottom (who I also call my slave) and correct me in that a bottom refers only to a physical decision to be the do-ee in a scene, blah blah. They know who I'm talking about.

Whereas online this kind of shorthand can lead to unneccessary re-discussion of what's a Master/Mistress/Top/Daddy every time you say something, sometimes. Or, God forbid you say "SM" in a way that's inclusive of BDSM D/s. To me, SM is the whole enchilada, sorry folks, no vanilla-calming press releases here.

So, I guess that's why the proliferation of acronyms.


Netzach
 
January 10

AS with anything, trying a cock ring for short periods of time and moving into longer episodes is generally a safe way to begin.

If you are male, get to know the sensations, observe the changes in texture, color, pressure etc.

Never leave it on until the testicles are discolored unless you are with a very experienced individual who recognizes the difference between safe pressure and unsafe pressure.

(I throw that in as I am fairly new to the use of cock rings.)

As for "are they safe?"

Since entering into the wonderful world of BDSM, I have found that most things are safe in moderation and at times, with a delicate, controlled approach.

MissTaken
 
January 11

People can offer opinions on what they think a "real" Master is. You will get a different difenition for each person who gives one. Some of these things will share things in common, others will be dyametricly opposed. The point is, you can read them, accept or reject them, but in the end you must form for yourself what you believe to be real or not real as that is the only thing that "really" matters.

RJMasters
 
January 12

We got a lot of messages from guys who wanted us to force them to submit ... to beat them into submission .. to break them ... whatever - Our normal reply was "and why exactly would we want that - either you're submissive or you're not, and we aren't interested in anyone who isn't willing in this" - the normal reply to that was "then you're not dominant" *falls off chair laughing*

SweetDommes
 
January 14

My subs and slaves have always found it more difficult to be lent out than their fantasies have prepared them for. In all cases they have found the experience to be less rewarding with another than they expected in would be from their kinky day dreams...BUT when they return to Me they are without exception more devoted and once again able to enjoy the fantasy of what has ocurred and no longer with the fantasy of how hot it could be in reality.

Shadowsdream
 
January 15

Perhaps it was the arrival of a small, dark-haired, toothless screaming humanoid that stifled my impatience, but over the years I have mastered the art of being patient, emphasis on being. It is still not and never will be something I am, but I can with relative ease, be patient.

Silverlily
 
January 16

So this is not a case of simply finding you now like something that you previously didn't like, as your first sentence on its own suggests. That's simply as, for instance, sometime in adulthood, I discovered I like brocolli. The 20 years before, I didn't. The self image does not come up.

While I've used the term 'warping,' I've also spoken or 'molding' or corrupting, and the general idea is pretty close to what you've said. NOT exactly encouraging the blooming of the rose, but the coming out of something with which the subordinate is surprised or uncomfortable or even ashamed, AND which is (at least partly) of the choice of the dominating person (for his/her own reasons).

Pure
 
January 17

For many years i tried to convince myself that my Domme side was just who i was and had nothing to do with my upbringing. Now i disagree, the way i was raised most certainly helped to develope this part of who i am but i deeply believe that that was only because there was already that seed inside of me.

My personality is a dominate one and its in contrast to my siblings but my upbringing meant that i had to develope and explore that side further and now i accept who i am, why i am that way whatever the influences where, and i enjoy myself as fully as possible

ImmortaleAmante
 
January 18

Sexual Selfishness

When I look deep within; I see a total, toddler level sexual selfishness and preoccupation with my own pleasure to the exclusion of that of others.

This sometimes feels like the most perverse thing about me. Really, I am not into anything especially odd or different; other than liking to hit women. And I really think that the main reason I like to hit them, is that you can only fuck so hard. After a point the expression of aggressiveness has to spill over into something else. But we are taught that sexuality is a two-way street and that everything must be even. I was reading the Joy Of Sex as soon as I was old enough to be perving. (Young).

My thoughts on sexual selfishness are manifold. On one hand, when I have been with someone who allowed the expression of that side of me, it felt like the most natural , relaxed and perfect thing in the world. Having had that in the past makes it hard to find anything comparable. The three-year old with the crown does not desire to be dethroned, no way. Waa-a-aa-h!

On the other hand, I am quite capable of giving pleasure if I desire to do so and these days, the stubborn internal imperative to focus on my own desires feels like a self-damaging trait. After all we are living in a world of caring and sharing. I have given pleasure many times and enjoyed it a great deal, and some of the most intense and intimate moments I can remember come from this.

And yet and yet. I feel wise, battle-scarred, full of knowledge about how people work and how relationships work, and my wisdom somehow does not conflict with that desire to make myself the focus of everything. Well, I am contradicting myself. Ok, it does and it does not. Thus my desire to remain alone, inviolate, masturbation my only friend. Masturbation always does what I want it to do.

Something in me rebels at the notion of sex being a two way street. Rebels deeply. Perhaps the consequences of this, are that I must be resigned to a life of solo wankery. However, the other option seems false. There may be a way to reconcile, I have not found it.

What trips me out is that, my intellect tells me, "the older and wiser you are, the more you will care and share" and the opposite seems to be coming true on libido level. This makes me fear that I am reverting to a perverse unabomber level of sexual misanthropy and autistic introversion.

No doubt this is all but the thesis to an invisible antithesis that will all resolve on a higher level.

These are my thoughts on sexual selfishness today. That is all.

rosco rathbone
 
January 19

Well thanks to someone that shall remain nameless ....

The thought has ocurred to me of a full body abrasion with open mesh sandcloth...Followed by deep massage with green Tobasco sauce..

Once that warmup is done, we can move to the "sadistic" things.

EKVITKAR
 
January 20

There are plenty of bullshit artists here and elsewhere. However, keeping that in mind, you may miss a rose by assuming stinkweed.

MissTaken
 
January 21

As I have stated before on these boards, it's very sad that even the outcasts must make outcasts ...

Doms don't like Dommes ... or the r/t people don't like the online people ... or the 24/7 people don't like the non-24/7 people ... or the "subs" don't like the "slaves" ... and of course, all variations in reverse, as well as other variations that I missed. And unfortuantely, it only takes one or two people to make someone feel unwelcome and unwanted.

SweetDommes
 
January 22

This continual bullshit concerning real versus online smacks of stupidity of the lowest level. Yes, posers exists, but they exist in both worlds. Yes, commitment questions exist, but they exist in both worlds. If you can name a bogus variant in online BDSM, you can find the same animal in real life. If you want nothing to do with online BDSM, ignore the comments presented by those you deem less worthy, but please keep your bigoted posts to a minimum. If you can't figure out how to do that, get the hell out of this online medium all together since you wish to remain pure. Continuing to post about your real life defines oxymoron.

Or, and as the silent majority wish, contribute for the benefit of both real and online practitioners.

AngelicAssassin
 
January 23

I'm not saying don't be authoritative. I'm not saying let her walk on you. Set rules of respect now. Follow the rules you set towards her no matter what her behavior looks like. Don't tolerate shitty behavior now, but make obedience seem easy, sane, simple, do-able. Make obeying you seem perfectly natural and reasonable, issue natural and reasonable requests.

This is, in my experience, a way to *normalize* submission for the new submissive who is afraid I won't respect him in the morning.

Netzach
 
January 24

First, congratulations on a three year relationship. At one point in my early 20's I had somewhat similiar concerns so I will try to comment.

Start by remembering there are many different styles of dominance and you are not required to follow someone else's script. There is nothing to say that doms must be heavily sadistic or act a certain way.

Remember you don't always have to "be on" or acting out some character. You two have a whole lifetime to explore each other so there is no need to rush. Pacing yourself gets very important in long term relationships.

Most importantly, be sure to focus on doing things that please yourself. If she is more sure of her submission and you are still building up your dominance, then focusing on your pleasure in the short term will bring her more pleasure in the long term. You will be a better dom to her once you are confident and comfortable.

Mr Blonde
 
January 25

Might make for an interesting contest though .."Most Fascinating Poster of All Time" ..Or at least "Of The Year".

As for leaving..The nature of a board will change over time.
Some folks have more trouble with this than others.
The nature of the people posting will also change over time. Sometimes when you combine the two, you hit a point where you don't see the point of posting anymore.
Contributing to this is the sometimes constant re-hashing of an old argument, discussion, or position.

I would hazard that there are a lot of factors that influence any persons decision to post no longer..But my guess is the main one, is they just no longer enjoy it. For whatever reason

EKVITKAR
 
January 26

I don't see women's lib as the perpetrator there, though. I think it's sexism that still makes all the work at home seen as "not real work" so that there's an assumption that you can do yet more work on top of it, which is really great for a capitalist society, making half your populace do this hard core double duty.

Feminism, at it's best, still was all about choice. It was feminists who came up with the radical if somewhat impractical notion that every mother ought to be paid a subsidy by the government for doing important work.

Netzach
 
January 27

I assume we're supposed to stay in chronological order.


The reality of present and future times is that online and virtual space is more and more entering our skin-to-skin lives. Soldiers, fighter plane pilots and tank drivers are all trained in virtual reality space, Planes and tanks are being constructed that can be remote managed through a computer terminal. There is even talk of having formula one races being driven remotely.

So yes internet is entering our life even if it is for now only as training media. Computer chips are built into everything. And yes a computer game does not equate reality but we are not talking here about a computer game. Is playing chess on the internet against a human opponent less real than playing it at home against your neighbour?

But you see that is really not the point we are talking about here, what we are talking is the inability of RL to respect OL. That RL is not OL that seems to me pretty clear. But we seem to have a movement which claims that if you do not conform to their way of BDSM it is not BDSM.

The problem I am having with this is simple, who is going to decide what real BDSM is and what is not. Are we going to turn ourselves all into neat heterosexual male dominated 24/7 or do we acknowledge that there are more possibilities, and what are we going to include in OL, and what are we going to include in RL?

That what is different is not equal, and equality is overrated. But that is not the issue.

Onliners have the same rights as everyone else to express their opinions and it is only normal civilised behaviour that you treat someone who takes so much pride and honour in what they are and do with respect. Many of us have started online, or have found partners online, do we now carry the online stigma, is anyone who has ever been online never going to progress to that heavenly place of real life BDSM? If you start out as a fake Onliner can you progress through to become Real Lifer or is the stigma of OL never going to be washed off, or can it be removed magically if you adopt a certain way of BDSM?

What I am asking for is respect from RL for those that take Online serious, I am saying that they have the same right as any of us RL. Yes they have a different experiences but so have many even in 24/7 BDSM. We have queers, pansexuals, leather, Internal enslavement folk, Jon Jacobs and his followers, we have D/s, TPE, APE and that is just in 24/7 BDSM.

Francisco.

Francisco
 
January 28

Real or fake are tough labels to put on someone like a dom or a sub. It's not like there is a union or a certification board. You need to find the dom that is REAL to you.

Marquis


Marquis
 
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