Define Cheating

BustyImp

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Oct 2, 2001
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What defines cheating?

Is the act of sending erotic email and stories cheating?

Does cheating need to cross the physical boundaries or can they just cross the intellectual ones?
 
If you have to ask that, you are obviously cheating on someone and trying to find a way to destroy the guilt.
 
For me, when you emotionally turn away from your man or woman, then you are cheating. Your partner should be your sole source of emotional fulfillment. Any deviation from that IS cheating.

Just my 0.02.
 
SXCRgirl said:
For me, when you emotionally turn away from your man or woman, then you are cheating. Your partner should be your sole source of emotional fulfillment. Any deviation from that IS cheating.

Just my 0.02.
You got it spot on SXCRgirl.
 
Are you saying that flirting with other people is not a healthly part of being in a relationship with your man or woman?

I don't think you can define cheating.
Everybody has their own definition.
 
Having a bit of fun online isn't cheating. It's fantasy.
 
To define what is cheating, you have to first define what are the rules of the game. Every relationship has its own rules (whether spoken or unspoken), and so what might be cheating in one relationship might not be cheating in another. If you are in a grey area and wondering if something you are doing is "cheating," I suggest you ask yourself how you would feel if your significant other did the same thing you are doing.
 
Flirting with other people for the purposes of flirting and having fun is not cheating. But if you take the flirting past the point of inappropriate or the intention of the flirting is to further your relationship then yes. It is.

Every relationship IS different. But I can't imagine that the rules are that varied. I suppose that if you have an open relationship then all bets are off. However, I think the question was based on a conventional relationship where two people are exclusively committed to each other.
 
Well, I wouldn't say that in an open relationship, all bets are offs. There could still be rules. And in monogamous relationships, different couples may have difference degrees of tolerance for flirting.

I also can't imagine having my partner be my sole source of emotional fulfillment. Friends and family are good for that too.
 
I think that if you are engaged in an activity that you could not discuss honestly with your SO, then it is cheating. Ultimately though, cheating is in the eyes of the partner.
 
schatz said:
I think that if you are engaged in an activity that you could not discuss honestly with your SO, then it is cheating. Ultimately though, cheating is in the eyes of the partner.

That is the best answer i have heard yet. My thoughts exactly!
 
SXCRgirl said:
For me, when you emotionally turn away from your man or woman, then you are cheating. Your partner should be your sole source of emotional fulfillment. Any deviation from that IS cheating.

Just my 0.02.

Then it is my guess that EVERY one cheats..... if you take that view of it. even if you fantasize, then thats cheating.
 
huskie said:


Then it is my guess that EVERY one cheats..... if you take that view of it. even if you fantasize, then thats cheating.

Now you're just being stupid. I wouldnt class fantasizing as an 'activity'. I am sure schatz was refering to activites that are not in your mind, such as going somewhere with someone or flirting with someone.
 
ilovewriting said:


Now you're just being stupid. I wouldnt class fantasizing as an 'activity'. I am sure schatz was refering to activites that are not in your mind, such as going somewhere with someone or flirting with someone.

Ya your write........ But I would not consider that as cheating iether. It could lead to cheating, but I would not consider it nore coming to Lit. as cheating. Theres just to big a diffrence from fucking and flirting.
 
huskie said:


Ya your write........ But I would not consider that as cheating iether. It could lead to cheating, but I would not consider it nore coming to Lit. as cheating. Theres just to big a diffrence from fucking and flirting.

Coming to Lit is NOT cheating, at least not in my mind. When I said that your partner is the sole source of emotional fulfillment, I didn't mean for them to be the ONLY person in your life. We all have friends and family that support us and love us in different ways.

When you flirt with others for fun and know that it isn't going anywhere, then it's acceptable. We all need that brief pick me up every once in a while to confirm in our heads that we are still desirable. It's called harmless flirting. If nothing else, it helps boost your self-image and makes you more lovable. But, when you flirt because your intention is to *get into their pants* then yes, that is cheating.

I agree with someone that said, if you cannot do it in front of your partner, then it's cheating. Harmless banter and flirting is normal. Heck, we're doing it now, right?
 
huskie said:

Ya your write........ But I would not consider that as cheating iether. It could lead to cheating, but I would not consider it nore coming to Lit. as cheating. Theres just to big a diffrence from fucking and flirting.

Well if my gf caught be flirting she would kick my arse lol.
 
BustyImp said:
What defines cheating?

Is the act of sending erotic email and stories cheating?

Does cheating need to cross the physical boundaries or can they just cross the intellectual ones?

i dont think trading e-mail stories is, but anything physical with someone else who isnt your S.O or like pictures with out you S.O knowing or accepting of the fact of is cheating
 
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Another way to look at it....cheating can have many faces (like I said before, it is in the eye of the beholder) but what is really being cheated is the trust between two individuals. I do not consider fantasies or masturbation as cheating but I am sure there are those who do and there are couples that engage in swapping, 3 sums,etc and do not consider it as cheating. But if your partner trusts you, as an example,... not to french kiss any one else and you go ahead and do it anyways...then you just cheated. This should go on to be an excellent thread because there are so many diverse opinions. A friend of my wife feels that when he goes to a prostitute, he is not cheating on his wife because there is no emotion involved but I don't think she would see that way if she found out.
 
This is a good ? to ask since I am in a new relationship with a wonderful women ...I never thought about coming here as cheating and still don't because I do not cyber in here anymore I used to alot when I first came here but now I just like to catch up with some friends I have made here and post for fun..Is it cheating to flirt in here no not as long as you leave it at that..I told her I come here often and have friends who are women in here but she is cool with it as long as there is no cybering going on..She said she would cut my balls off and I am kinda attached to the guys so I would like to keep them close..Anyway she has nothing to worry about I am an honest and faithful man and would never dream of cheating on her in anyway...:)
 
cheating?

I am in a 20 year marriage and my husband has lost interest in sex. I would have never thought this would happen to us, we had a good and happy sex life together. Now I have a choice, I can sit hear at my computer and masterbate like a teenager and attempt to satisfy my sexual needs, and be bitchy because I am resentful, or I can go out and find a lover who will take care of my sexual needs that are not being taken care of at home. Keep in mind that I am not suffering in silence. I have communicated my needs to my partner, and after 20 years he knows that sex is important to me. What would you do in this position? If he was starving me would it be ok for me to eat at another man's table?
 
Re: cheating?

psyche said:
I am in a 20 year marriage and my husband has lost interest in sex. I would have never thought this would happen to us, we had a good and happy sex life together. Now I have a choice, I can sit hear at my computer and masterbate like a teenager and attempt to satisfy my sexual needs, and be bitchy because I am resentful, or I can go out and find a lover who will take care of my sexual needs that are not being taken care of at home. Keep in mind that I am not suffering in silence. I have communicated my needs to my partner, and after 20 years he knows that sex is important to me. What would you do in this position? If he was starving me would it be ok for me to eat at another man's table?
\
Only if you have your husbands permission to go elsewhere.
 
Re: cheating?

ilovewriting said:
\
Only if you have your husbands permission to go elsewhere.

Well, I guess I am cheating then.
 
You people out there who cheat or are cheating on there other can sugar coat it all u want. saying that flirting is alright as long as its not physical or whateva. but it is. showing emotions too anyone other then your other in a intimate or emotional way is cheating. it being mental or physical has nothing to do with it. its like this if my woman wants to fuck this other dude then she might as well done it cause it hurts just as bad. no matter how you slice it if you really love the person you will have no desire for the other if you do your not in love. some people might want to belive this is true. but there just bending the truth to fit there desires. an to tha person who says you cant define cheating NEWS FLASH cheating is cheating no matter how your imature mind sees it. love is love you cant change it its a one way road.
an cheating is the same. everyone thinks they have there own version of cheating but dont mean its tha truth. *LoL* if you can just make your own rules then life would be peachy keen for everyone but you cant. life has its absolutes an you cant do anything about it but follow tha rule(s) or break the rule(s)
 
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