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So I put my finger in my bf's ass last night...

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Ms_Lilith

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and he loved it. He wants more... but I'm so afraid of making him uncomfortable, and so afraid of hurting him! I cut my fingernails and everything just for the occasion, but...
dammit, his asshole is a lot tighter than the last few people's that I've been with!

I used lots of lube, was very slow and gentle, nice circular massage... and he loved it.

How do I get over my fear of hurting him?!
 
Safe word

Use a safe word with him. That way, when/if he has to use it, you'll know that you're being too rough. I don't think he's as worried about it as you, though. But, I also know what you're going though.

Good safe words:

"Red"-- Stop all together
"Yellow"-- Ease up a little bit
 
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Go slow, go easy, and lots and lots of communication! Make certain he can tell you when to stop, when things become more than he can bear. And try not to feel too badly when he does. A lot of people feel they've really hurt some one and then feel terrible about.

Let him know he needs to tell you as soon as possible if things hurt or feel uncomfortable. Then spend an extra few minutes just holding each other and cuddling before resuming play.

Chances are, if you go slow and use lots of lube, he will be very receptive. That tiny little hole can really stretch when people want it to!

And remember - have fun!
 
vixenshe said:
and he loved it. He wants more... but I'm so afraid of making him uncomfortable, and so afraid of hurting him! I cut my fingernails and everything just for the occasion, but...
dammit, his asshole is a lot tighter than the last few people's that I've been with!

I used lots of lube, was very slow and gentle, nice circular massage... and he loved it.

How do I get over my fear of hurting him?!
Click to expand...

That's so sweet of you. I have two thoughts.

First, remember the basics. Go slow, use lots of lube, start small and work your way to bigger things, and let him control the penetration. Oh yeah, and both of you remember to breath so no one tenses up. ;)

Second. While men and women have some different parts and plumbing, we all have assholes and I think they all pretty much work the same. Follow the golden rule and do unto him as you'd have done unto you. I doubt you'll hurt him.

And finally, I just popped my cherry. I'm not longer a Lit virgin. Woo hoo!
 
Re: Re: So I put my finger in my bf's ass last night...

cg_allstar said:


That's so sweet of you. I have two thoughts.

First, remember the basics. Go slow, use lots of lube, start small and work your way to bigger things, and let him control the penetration. Oh yeah, and both of you remember to breath so no one tenses up. ;)

Second. While men and women have some different parts and plumbing, we all have assholes and I think they all pretty much work the same. Follow the golden rule and do unto him as you'd have done unto you. I doubt you'll hurt him.

And finally, I just popped my cherry. I'm not longer a Lit virgin. Woo hoo!
Click to expand...

Congrats cg!

Hunny, it sounds as if you and your man have great communication - I'm sure he'll let you know when it's too much. They just aren't used to it, so it takes them some time to grow accustomed to that feeling - but like someone said, it's amazing what those little holes can do. Just go slow, and keep talking to him.
 
Re: Re: Re: So I put my finger in my bf's ass last night...

Freya2 said:


Congrats cg!

Hunny, it sounds as if you and your man have great communication - I'm sure he'll let you know when it's too much. They just aren't used to it, so it takes them some time to grow accustomed to that feeling - but like someone said, it's amazing what those little holes can do. Just go slow, and keep talking to him.
Click to expand...

lol.. he's an avid anal player... he has his own toys, and uses them often (though he stands to the fact that he's straight), and he loves the feeling of something shoving up his asshole. I've just never done it to him.
 
Re: Safe word

Ezzie said:
Use a safe word with him. That way, when/if he has to use it, you'll know that you're being too rough. I don't think he's as worried about it as you, though. But, I also know what you're going though.

Good safe words:

"Red"-- Stop all together
"Yellow"-- Ease up a little bit
Click to expand...

Thank you for the idea... I think I'll talk to him about it soon!
 
could he use one of his toys while you're watching? that way you'll know how much he can take.

we did it that way (although i was recieving) with a vibrating butt plug our first time together.

good luck, and is your finger going through a nipple ring on your av? im fascinated by it...
 
tassie said:
could he use one of his toys while you're watching? that way you'll know how much he can take.

we did it that way (although i was recieving) with a vibrating butt plug our first time together.

good luck, and is your finger going through a nipple ring on your av? im fascinated by it...
Click to expand...

Honey is too nervous to play with toys in front of me. I've never seen him do it.

And no, that's not my finger going through a nipple ring.. it's a small hair-clip (a claw-type one) on my nipple, and my fingers spread around it... :)
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: So I put my finger in my bf's ass last night...

vixenshe said:


lol.. he's an avid anal player... he has his own toys, and uses them often (though he stands to the fact that he's straight), and he loves the feeling of something shoving up his asshole. I've just never done it to him.
Click to expand...

I'm looking forward to the day when men can admit they like anal stimulation without having to fervently swear they're not gay. I've always been curious about it and started my anal toy collection last week. Got a tiny little red plug and a tiny vibrator plug with a 10(!) setting control with variations of vibration and pulse. I so already love that thing. But, I'm already thinking about getting my next toy. And, I'm hopping my next girlfriend will be open to the idea of using strap-on. ;)

I definitely think you should use his toys and watch him a little first and then take over for him once he gets things started.
 
thank you, i understand now.

i have my nipple pierced and couldnt work it out. i get it now.

shame about your hunny, that would be such a good way for him to enjoy it too! I did find it embarrasing but I'm his sub and that's part of the fun;)
 
I have the opposite problem....My honey won't let me near that area...He's never tried and never wants to...I respect that....I just want to pleasure him any way I can.....Good luck Vixen.....
 
Needssome said:
I have the opposite problem....My honey won't let me near that area...He's never tried and never wants to...I respect that....I just want to pleasure him any way I can.....Good luck Vixen.....
Click to expand...

A lot of men have a knee-jerk homophobic reaction to anything near their ass. It's like they might just enjoy it too much and that'll make them gay or something. It's one of the most blockheaded thought processes that men have. Same as stating whether another man is attractive. "I don't know if he's good looking, I'm not fuckin gay ya know!" Makes me want to smack them.
 
Yeah what's with all this homophobia? Why can't people just live and let live?

Now that I've ranted, I just want to say this, I have only been with one guy who would let me go near his back door and it was really fun. And if reactions mean anything at all he liked it just as much as I did. I wish more men were open to it... I find that area to be pretty sensitive, and it IS part of our bodies after all.

:cool:
 
The first time I did it to an ex-boyfriend we were in the shower together and I just soaped up my finger and gently eased it in. He came all over the shower wall. But he would not let me do it anywhere else but the shower.
 
The man I'm sleeping with now lets me do it to him, but so very few will. Stupid really, because if they only knew how good it feels. And it's made more amusing by the fact that almost all of them would love to stick their dicks into ours - but god forfuckinbid we stick a tiny finger into theirs.
 
This thread is hot!!

I recently got into anal play (forgive the pun) for myself. I figured, "If SHE likes it that much, maybe I should give it a try..." Started in the shower and went on from there. :D

I love fingering and fucking her ass, and I really enjoy having her finger mine. All the above is true-- slow, lube, etc. Remember that most of the nerve endings (hence, good sensations) are near the opening, so depth isn't that critical. If you probe the ventral wall (towards the navel) you can find his prostate, which feels VERY good when stimulated. It's not terribly deep, about the second knuckle, and feels a bit like a marble.

Have fun! (I sure do!)
 
This is a really hot thread, and I agree that men need to get over this attitude that just because you enjoy anal stimulation you have to be gay. Me and my wife have a dildo that we use on each other and I love anal stimulation. It makes my cock harder and I shoot larger loads.
 
I liked it alot;;;

My lover and i recently explored our anal desires,and it was very erotic, not becaus her ass is so fine,and it is,butt because she played with my asshole with her soft fingers, pushing in and out my tight hole till i came all over myself...WOW
 
That's just too weird Vix. My gf JUST recently did this to me as well. It was my first time with anything...and it felt damn good. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to explore this some more with her. When she looked up at me and said that's all the way I thought my brain would explode. We're so relaxed with each other sexually I think that makes everything so much easier.

Enjoy,
t

oh and btw, beautiful pics...as always :)
 
My husband and I just experienced anal sex recently. We both really enjoyed it, but I really don't understand why he jumps when I touch his ass. I think men close themselves off to trying new things and probably miss out on alot of fun.
Pinkcat:kiss:
 
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