dialogue in erotic writing

While I can see that well-written dialogue can really make a piece interesting, I can't help but feel that a lot of dialogue in erotic stories tends to be like the dialogue in porn movies. You know it has to be there for the story, but hey, that's not why you rented the flick. So, just as in a porn video, I find myself ignoring the cocnversations and focusing on the bodies, what they look like, and what they are doing, I find that when reading many of these stories, I skim the clever dialogue and really enjoy the author's descriptions of bodies and the sex.

Anyone else feel that way?

It depends on the story. One where the only point is sex, dialogue is pretty moot and stilted. I've noticed that it's pretty much restrained to, "Fuck MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"''''''''''''''''''''''''' MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmm INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


A lot of us write stories with more to it than sex and the dialogue is essential. It's up to you whether you read it.

The authors with the hottest stories I have ever read will use dialogue to make the characters come alive. They make the sex scenes incredibly hot when used effectively.

How long can you sit and watch porn movies with little or no dialogue? Personally, I find myself getting bored with the repetition. But if all you want is a look at people screwing so you can masturbate for a short time, dialogue really isn't needed ... just some hot bodies to look at or think about. But if you want to enjoy a story for the "story", look for authors that utilize dialogue effectively.

KillerMuffin said:

It depends on the story. One where the only point is sex, dialogue is pretty moot and stilted. I've noticed that it's pretty much restrained to, "Fuck MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"''''''''''''''''''''''''' MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmm INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


A lot of us write stories with more to it than sex and the dialogue is essential. It's up to you whether you read it.

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rofl
You know, I don't think I've ever tried to include something like that in a story... I wonder if it would help increase my word count at all...?

*laughing head off*

wildsweetone said:

You know, I don't think I've ever tried to include something like that in a story... I wonder if it would help increase my word count at all...?

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It would certainly increase the character count, but I think there's only about three words buried in all of that.

Some people prefer "Penetrating prose with a climactic ending liberally sprinkled with OOOOOOOOOOhs, AAAAAAAAHS and OOOOHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOODs in between."

Others actually like stories that just happen to include sex.

Weird Harold said:

It would certainly increase the character count, but I think there's only about three words buried in all of that.

Some people prefer "Penetrating prose with a climactic ending liberally sprinkled with OOOOOOOOOOhs, AAAAAAAAHS and OOOOHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOODs in between."

Others actually like stories that just happen to include sex.

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oh well then, if there's only three words in that whole entire epistle, i think i'll save the fingertips...

i sure hope you smile while you're writing your postings WH. i'd sure hate to think of all this going to waste

new sig line

Penetrating prose with a climactic ending

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WH-

ROFLMAO!

Oh, to have my stories described this way!

Or should I say: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! to have my stories described this way?

BeachB0y-

I have been blasted by folks looking for a story when I was focusing on hot sex and I have been blasted by folks looking for "recreational material" when I had written a story "all cluttered" with clever dialogue and brilliant descriptions.

Write for one or the other and be ready for someone to be disappointed and someone else to be 'satisfied'.

b

As WH has said before, all it is is just Tab A into Slot B. The thing that makes a story come alive is the the actual story itself. Otherwise you've read it a thousand times before.

The Earl

As WH has said before, all it is is just Tab A into Slot B.

I never had instructions like that before... they all had to do with getting the proper amount of lubrication on slot B before inserting tab A And then there's some that would prefer the that tab A goes in slot C... always seemed so confusing... Dialog.... there can be no foreplay without dialog. I've seen some really good stories with no dialog at all... I guess it depends on your style (and no I'm not talking about stroke pieces). But the stories that have characters I can relate to the best have good natural dialog.

I think alot of the art to writing decent dialog is saying it in your head after you write it. If it sounds like something you would say or hear then its probably going to be pretty good. I've noticed the best most natural sounding dialog uses lots of abbreviations.

Just some thoughts...

JJ1

You would probably avoid my stories, then. I have to tell myself to give some sort of description of the characters in my stories - and I never go outside of hair/eye color and general body type.

I consider dialogue essential, as I prefer to tell a story that has sex. Granted, dialogue is one of my weaker points, but something I'm working on. I have found myself lately putting more effort into the dialogue than the actual sexual antics. Hey, there is only so many ways to describe a blow job - a reader can either "see" or not.

When I read a story, I immediately notice if there is no dialogue or very little dialoge or if the dialoge isn't in sync with the story. It is what makes the characters come alive and off of the computer screen.

But hey, that's just my opinion.

shut up and f* already

Beachb0y-

After thinking some more about this, I feel obliged to add that I find myself skipping dialogue when it disrupts the flow of the story or is awkward... but I still want to read the sex... it's kind of like a gorgeous woman/man with a horrible accent (a la Fran Drescher) or conversation that reveals a very shallow person... their sexual allure is shattered.

b

If I can't find good dialog, I find myself back-clicking. But then there's dialog and there's GOOD dialog. Good dialog pushes my hot buttons to the extreme. It makes you feel like you are there.

I agree completely with Bridget and Couture. The dialogue has got to compliment the characters and plot. It's easy to spot "filler" dialogue.

Dialogue that is used effectively can pull you right into the same room with the characters. It will define characters in a way that a narrative never can. Dialogue will let you see the feelings and passion of the characters. This is true for ANY genre. It will make you feel like you are the "fly on the wall" or even a participant in the story if done the right way.

Thanks everyone for responding to my question on dialogue. There are some excellent thoughts here I can use as try to write good sex scenes.

I agree with everyone that a good story needs some good characterization and that needs some strong dialogue. I am not sure I always get that far with some of the stuff I have been working on.

This evening I decided to download some porn off the web for inspiration on how other people talk in the throes of passion. And I thought I would share with you the actual dialogue in the 30 second scene.

She: Aaaaaaah
He: Ugh
She: Aaaaaaaaaaah
He: Unnnnh
She: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaay
He: (mutters something unintelligeable)
She:Aaaaaaah ...aaaaaah ...ah (for the next 25 seconds, then we see him withdraw, cum on her ass with no sound fron him) Oooooooh.

Needless to say, I was far more inspired by reading some of Bridgetkeeney's penetrating prose instead.

Final thought before I sign off this thread ...I have just submitted a story with no conversation at all (sex between two strangers who do not share a language). I would like to see a story with only dialogue, no narrative. Who wants to have a go?

beachb0y said:

Final thought before I sign off this thread ...I have just submitted a story with no conversation at all (sex between two strangers who do not share a language). I would like to see a story with only dialogue, no narrative. Who wants to have a go?

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Actually, I believe this has been done. I can't swear to it, but I thought at one time KillerMuffin brought it up. (Heck, maybe she wrote it??) Am really uncertain of the author or title, but I remember reading something like this.

Here are two short stories with only dialogue by two erotic story authors I admire:

Feeding The Fire - By Nick Scipio

Schadenfreude - By Smilodon


Pookie

beachb0y said:

This evening I decided to download some porn off the web for inspiration on how other people talk in the throes of passion. And I thought I would share with you the actual dialogue in the 30 second scene....

...I would like to see a story with only dialogue, no narrative. Who wants to have a go?

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I have written one that was submitted to another site and since removed in a space saving purge of their story list. e-mail me if you'd like to read it.

I note that you've clarified that you're talking about dialogue in the sex scenes and that's a different proposition than "dialogue in a sex story" -- sex scenes don't require as much dialogue as the surrounding story. See the thread about "do you talk during sex" in this forum for a wide variety of opinions/examples on that topic.

Dialogue during sex depends very much on the nature of the sex and the nature of the characters involved -- as established by the dialogue and narrative preceding the sex scene.

In Two Bags For The Bride (my best received story and one chosen for the literotica anthology) there are sex scenes that contain dialogue and sex scenes where the dialogue consists of (essentially) "shut up and fuck me." I used what dialogue seemed appropriate for the scene, and have gotten very good reviews on my use of dialogue in that story.

WhisperSecret's Hostile Takeover also uses dialogue in some sex scenes and little to none in others.

Killermuffin's work is another good example of how and when to use dialogue in the sex scenes, but I can't pick just one story because they're all good examples.

TheEarl said:

As WH has said before, all it is is just Tab A into Slot B. The thing that makes a story come alive is the the actual story itself. Otherwise you've read it a thousand times before.

The Earl

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Exactly.

or rather,

MMMMMMMMMMMMhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm!

heh.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Ohhhhhhhhhhh, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh'llllll

Have to remember that........

I remainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn,

pops two penny worth for what it's worth.

I vary my tales a bit from time to time, occasionally I write stories from memory of things I've seen or heard of, a base to work from as it were.
In these tales it's all narrative and action, well I wasn't there I don't know what they said do I, I can and do guess and chuck some dialogue in if the tale looks too boring without it.

I haven't yet written a pure porno flick, all screwing and no history or character building, they bore me and I feel they bore a lot more folks than will admit it.

My first actual work of true fiction with no calling on experience of myself or others for a base I have almost finished editing and may or may not post here, depends if I'm happy with it or not.
I'll probably just post it and risk damnation, who gives a s**t anyway.
I've actually been cutting some of the dialogue, OK I wanted it in but the story was getting huge in size but short on sexual content, all talk and no action sort of thing.
Not at all the sort of thing folks looking for a horny tale are likely to read all the way to the end, (the end is actually the real climax in more ways than one).

I have had problems transmitting the full passion of the events to the reader without the idiot multiple letter extensionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, OOoooooooooRrrrrrrrrr Mrs.
type of thing, but have managed to keep it to just maximum of two ie: Ooo Ahh Ughh, prefering to use narrative words such as, grunt, moan, etc ie: Tessa moaned with pleasure quietly as Joe gently slid his weapon in and out of her soaking love chamber.
Rather than "OoooooooooooAhhhhhhhhhhhJoe fuck me harderOoooooooooooo" Tessa screamed.

Do people talk during sex, only the one's who aren't enjoying it, I usually get too breathless to say a bloody lot, the wife often comments on the state of the bedroom ceiling and perhaps we should redecorate, I sometimes wonder if I'm doing something wrong, hehe.
I usually have characters mouthing obscenities or much love talk as a narrative

I think dialogue is important if the story warrants a lot of chat and can stand it without becoming boring, but as I've found if you include a lot of chat the bloody tale keeps going on and on seemingly without end as you're writing it.
The narrative can also be very important in a story needing a history lesson for the reader to understand an event fully.

Sorry for boring you all: pops...............

Beachb0y,

You are going to hate my stories when i finally get to posting them. They almost all contain vitually NO "action".

Hourses for courses, different strokes for different folks etc

Tuppence worth

KillerMuffin said:

A lot of us write stories with more to it than sex and the dialogue is essential. It's up to you whether you read it.

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It's easy to write the sort of stories people read with one hand. Without some meaningful communication between the characters, though, you get the "I kiked down the dor and cummed in her fase" genre.

Diane the Semiliterate

I'm not a big dialoge writer, personally I really like a good conversation between characters but it always seems to fall short of my expectations or miss my point entirely. Because I refuse to spend countless hours tweaking a conversation I usually end up with either very little dialoge or plently of it that only makes sense to me. As a recourse I have found myself doing alot of writing the thoughts of the character as first person to avoid those pesky qoutation marks which I feel are the downfall of my dialoge. This gives my stories a very one sided view but allow me to give a better rendition that to struggle for hours with a speech and retort and miss the plot for a few lines.
One item that does bother me though, is I found myself ADDING an erotic scene to an already written begining for fear that it would alienate the audience to begin my stories without any sexual activity at all. Shame on me for swallowing my pride and butchering my story.

I know where you're coming from Lyndon on a lot of your points, dialogue can take hours of tweaking to make sense to an outsider, I'm affraid I have a bit of a habit of saying to myself, 'Oh sod them I can understand it', in the end.

I also rarely try to include full blown conversations these days, they really can be a pain to communicate, instead I tend to stick to one liners and question / answer type of dialogue that's easier to drop in with the narrative.

One thing I've yet to write is a story with a sex act on the first page, life just don't happen like that, well not that I've seen of life and I lived through the 60's and 70's sexual revolution as a single guy, hehe.
I've yet to screw a woman before I've spoken to her, maybe I'm doing something wrong though.
I'm affraid if the kiddies can't be bothered to go looking for the sexy bits among the real bits I aint writing for them.

Don't get me wrong I don't write true romance stories, well not often, it's all mad humping, but spread over a page or several.

I too wrote a tale about a guy who didn't get his end away gb77, poor sod in my story was after a young girl for ages and always cocked it all up, so close yet so far away from getting laid for the first time all through the story, bit of a comedy really.

See ya all: pops

beachb0y said:

Final thought before I sign off this thread ...I have just submitted a story with no conversation at all (sex between two strangers who do not share a language). I would like to see a story with only dialogue, no narrative. Who wants to have a go?

Click to expand...

My Moonlight & a Pair of Panties has almost no dialogue (because one of the two characters is asleep )

There's one by Quasimodem which is only dialogue from start to finish. Fantastically written. No confusion at all. Aural Rape.