The Worst Chain Story Ever

OK, in alphabetical order, these are the ones who have expressed an interest in participating in The Worst Chain Story Ever:

BlackSnake
Chicklet
DurtGurl
oggbashan
MasterVassago
Svenskaflicka

It's been suggested (and not violently objected to) that

a) each chapter should focus on a special kind of crap, for instance Chapter one: Incest Crap, Chapter Two: Mature Crap, Chapter Three: Anal Crap (no pun intended!!!), and
b) that we should all participate in each chapter, and spew out all the crap we can think of, and the person in charge of that chapter will write it all down into an unsuitable story.

So far, we have three themes spoken for. DurtGurl has asked to be in charge of the Incest chapter. BlackSnake feels he's ready for Mature. Me, I'm asking for the Interracial chapter. I've written GOOD interracial stories before, it's gonna be a real challenge to write really BAD this time.

What themes would the rest of you prefer to indulge in? Sleazy, sugary romance? Open house in Group Sex? A never before heard of episode of "Buffy, the Vampire Layer"???

As soon as we have all decided, we can set up a time table to decide what chapter goes first, and then start plotting, character inventing, title brainstorming, etc.

I don't want to be a part of the chain (couldn't write to deadline if it was my own full pardon at stake) but I hope that each chapter begins with the immortal "I kiked down the dour and camed in her fase".

Gauche

I would like to do Mature Crap, since I found out that the stuff in my pretty black hair wasn't lint.

Well, here's an advice for you, BS! They say that hanging out with people younger than yourself will make you FEEL younger. Maybe you should try that..?

Svenskaflicka said:

Well, here's an advice for you, BS! They say that hanging out with people younger than yourself will make you FEEL younger. Maybe you should try that..?

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Ah! Not working! Not working! I have to relay on my experience to keep up.

Young people have energy, old people have technique.

gauchecritic said:

I but I hope that each chapter begins with the immortal "I kiked down the dour and camed in her fase".

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Dear Gauchie,
You may rest assured that at least one story will.
MG
Ps. You misspelled 'dor'

Svenskaflicka said:

Young people have energy, old people have technique.

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Rule number one: Be the last man standing.

If it looks like rule number one will fail, push everyone else down first.

Svenskaflicka said:

What themes would the rest of you prefer to indulge in?

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I would like to do Fetish - uniforms, lace, silk, nylon, plastic film, rubber, leather, feet, shoes, panties, bras, hair etc.

For those not used to writing Fetish, the object of desire is more important than the sex partner and sex without the fetish is either boring or impossible.

Og.

PS. Additions to the list of fetish items appreciated.

Raspberry jam, feathers (hopefully not still attached to the poor bird), vinyl, honey, whipped cream, pearl necklaces, corderoy...

The themes so far:

BlackSnake - Mature
Chicklet
DurtGurl - Incest
oggbashan - Fetish
Master Vassago
Svenskaflicka - Interracial

Hmmm... are we beginning to get a feeling for the story now? Are we perhaps looking at a girl who fucks her brother, her father-in-law, the hot black pizza delivery guy, and then goes home to her husband for some leather action?

Busy girl...

We're still waiting for Chicklet and Master_Vassago to choose what they want to focus on, and then we're off! Now, tell me - should we look for more people, or is 6 chapters perhaps all we'll have the energy to do in this particular style?

Re: Re: The Worst Chain Story Ever

oggbashan said:

Additions to the list of fetish items appreciated.

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There must be fetishists for "used" items:

Used cars?
Used diapers?
Used dentures?
Used dog food?
Used toilet paper?
Used sanitary napkins?
Used colostomy bags?
Used airsick bags?

Just trying to be helpful.
MG

I think I'd like to try BDSM with this. We could make it truly the worst piece of crap ever.

Update

BlackSnake - Mature
Chicklet
DurtGurl - Incest
oggbashan - Fetish
Master Vassago - BDSM
Svenskaflicka - Interracial

Almost done now. DurtGurl has already made a great draft for the Incest story, though if we're going to write a story that goes on and on, you might need to re-write it some, DG, hon'. Perhaps you could keep some parts for this chain story, and mix them with whatever ideas we can come up with, and create a whole new story out of that?

Svenskaflicka said:

It's been suggested (and not violently objected to) that

a) each chapter should focus on a special kind of crap, for instance Chapter one: Incest Crap, Chapter Two: Mature Crap, Chapter Three: Anal Crap (no pun intended!!!), and
b) that we should all participate in each chapter, and spew out all the crap we can think of, and the person in charge of that chapter will write it all down into an unsuitable story.

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A further suggestion, prompted by the attached Cartoon.

You need a plot device to tie the chapters together -- perhaps a check "The Bearer is entitled to one night of wild, kinky sex" would suffice as the tie tha binds?

Weird Harold, the fountain of wisdom, is right. We need something that will tie the story together. Any suggestions?

Me, I'm thinking a main character, and the things he/she go through during a weekend. Has anyone read "A dirty weekend"? This would be something like "A dirty fucking weekend"!

It starts on Friday night. Our main character - I'm suggesting a female - starts her weekend by going out. She goes to a bar, meets a black or asian man, fucks him in the alley, straighten her skirt, goes to another bar, picks up a guy who's got this fetish where he likes to dress up in dirty diapers and watch a uniform-clad woman mastrbate with an icicle. She plays along up to the part where he wants them to switch, so that he'll wear her underwear and uniform, and she will wear the diapers. She runs out of there, and calls her brother on her mobile. He drives her home, and comforts her.
They sleep in late the next morning, then he gives her a ride downtown and lets her off so she can go shopping. She picks out a nice outfit, and goes out again on Saturday night. This time, she goes to a shady club where she finds a guy who's into BDSM...
After a night of hard beating, our good little girl goes to church on Sunday morning - and confesses all the dirty sins to the priest, an older man...
And then we leave it up to Chicklet to finish the whole thing off.

That's my idea. Now you're free to shout "Boooooooo", and throw them all away, and come up with something a lot better... if you can!

Dear Svenska,
According to your new rules, if I'm writing the incest chapter, I take everyone's suggestions and write the chapter to include all that stuff.

I can't do that. If I'm gonna write the incest chapter, I'll write it myself. Within the framework of the plot you devise, of course. It that's okay, I'll put my nose in the trough when the time comes.
MG

No, no, MG! No-one will tell you what to write! That would be completely wrong! I would NEVER be able to write anything if people would stand and shout on me to write this and that. I thought we would do this the same way you did with Patty and the gang bang. You write your chapter the way you want it, and the rest of us make suggestions. You're free to choose what you want to use and what you want to skip.

I kinda have to agree, I would prefer to see suggestions to be worked into the story and then take all of them and write a story as I see fit, trust Me it will be truly horrible. LOL.

I do have a question though, can we do the same thing as Durtgurl with using homophones? I think that might be a rare treat to be able to actually use them on purpose for once lol.

Homophones? Well, if someone writes a Gay Male story about phone sex, why not?

By the way, in what way are homophones different than hetero phones? They only call other homophones, or..?

Svenskaflicka
Official Lit Blonde

Svenskaflicka said:

Homophones?

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Words that sound the same but are spelled differently.

If you plan to break some rules, like spelling and punctuation rules--yes, Laurel rejects people for spelling and punctuation all the time--then you should clear it with Laurel first. After all, how on earth do you expect her to justify playing favorites with the lot of you? She tries to maintain a modicum of standards here. Not perfect, but there are some standards. You're proposing to write outside of those standards outside of the humor and satire category. All of those authors she rejects for what you're proposing on doing will have a very legitimate reason to start bitching and whining at Laurel. And how will she explain it to them? That you guys get to break the rules and they don't? Or should she hold them to the standards you're proposing?

You can't call it parody. Writing a story just to write something completely crappy isn't parodying anyone or anything. It's just writing crap for the joy of writing crap and then foisting it off on someone else to create problems for them. That's just plain rude.

Parody is a staricial. Satire is attacking human folly through irony, derision, and wit. There's juvenalian satire (like Shakespeare's Sonnet #130) and there's homerian satire (like Swift's Modest Proposal). Parody is intelligent. This? Well it might be fun, but it's not clever.

Svenskaflicka said:

I thought we would do this the same way you did with Patty and the gang bang.

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That story was perpetrated wholly by DurtGurl. She didn't have any much needed advice or collaboration.
MG

I'm not suggesting punctuation errors or spelling errors even. I was only looking at the possibilty of putting a few too's where there should be two's.

M_V, that is mispelling. If you're writing about a woman's midsection and call it waste, it's mispelled because a woman's midsection is not spelled "waste" it's spelled "waist".

I'm not Laurel. It's not my site. I don't set policy. I do, however, think that when we plot to flaunt the rules, we should have the decency to discuss the issue with the person who sets those rules so that all parties can find a satisfactory outcome to an endeavor.

So if you plan on writing crap and submitting it on purpose, it would behoove you to discuss with the Big L first. Or you can wait until she rejects your stories and then try to figure out how to fix the problem.