darkmaas
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2002
- Posts
- 1,000
Recently our Lady of Sadness gave a plaintive cry for a poetry challenge. Who are we to deny Her Postiness. Darkmaas therefore proposes:
The Erotic Woowoo Poetry Challenge
Sigh. I thought as much. You’ll all be wanting a definition of “woowoo poetry”. If the issue of what is poetry concerns you, might I suggest a recent thread that addressed this very topic.
If not, I bet it’s the woowoo bit that is troubling you. Alright, it’s not a long story.
For the last few years darkmaas has been rubbing shoulders with the equestrian set. The interesting thing about riding is that it is a sport in which over 90% of the participants are female. If one’s interests lie in studying the more arcane points of feminine culture, there is no better laboratory than your local riding establishment.
Just as soccer has its soccer moms, riding has its stable moms. However, the sad fact of stable management is that it is largely an issue of manure management. So, the lot of a stable mom (unlike her soccer sister) revolves more around mopping up after horses than the cute pictures of tight breeches and red ribbons might imply.
One day, darkmaas was making convivial conversation with the mother of a young teen who rides a gelding named Black Sultan (Sully for short). We were commiserating about the many manifestations of manure when Gillian uttered this immortal sentence:
“Every two weeks or so, I have to wash Sully’s...” short pause... “woowoo.”
Now I should point out that Gillian is a successful gynaecologist and is quite likely to know that the correct technical terminology would be “... I have to wash Sully’s penis.” She also has an earthy sense of humour and would be expected to be able to utter the phrase “...Sully’s cock.”
Perhaps she worried about my fragile masculine sensibilities. Maybe if it had been “just the girls” ...
At any rate, the conversation sat like a piece of grit in my mind. Last winter a poem materialised, pearl-like, and now perhaps a poetry challenge.
Hark?
Do I hear a spluttering sound?
“Surely d’maas, even you don’t expect *me* to write a poem about horse ...erm ... thingies?”
No sweet poet. I certainly do not.
The point of the story is that woowoo is not just long and meaty, but it is a...
EUPHEMISM
This is a euphemism challenge.
Rule 1:
The poem must be an erotic poem. (Shush Rybby! You can do it.)
Rule 2:
All words used in the poem must be suitable for use in a conversation over tea with the vicar and several maiden aunts. Rule 2 therefore demands the use of euphemism
Rule 3:
The euphemism may be any word that meets Rule 2. It may be a made up word. It may be a phrase or other group of words. However the context should leave no doubt as to it’s meaning. (This is a significant problem for woowooku poets. Fifteen syllables leaves little room for developing context. Only trained professionals should attempt a woowooku.)
Rule 4: (The Pussy Rule)
Although “pussy” meets the conditions of Rule 2, it is lame and overworked and will result in disqualification.
Posting details and a sample to illustrate the rules to follow.
respectfully,
darkmaas.
The Erotic Woowoo Poetry Challenge
Sigh. I thought as much. You’ll all be wanting a definition of “woowoo poetry”. If the issue of what is poetry concerns you, might I suggest a recent thread that addressed this very topic.
If not, I bet it’s the woowoo bit that is troubling you. Alright, it’s not a long story.
For the last few years darkmaas has been rubbing shoulders with the equestrian set. The interesting thing about riding is that it is a sport in which over 90% of the participants are female. If one’s interests lie in studying the more arcane points of feminine culture, there is no better laboratory than your local riding establishment.
Just as soccer has its soccer moms, riding has its stable moms. However, the sad fact of stable management is that it is largely an issue of manure management. So, the lot of a stable mom (unlike her soccer sister) revolves more around mopping up after horses than the cute pictures of tight breeches and red ribbons might imply.
One day, darkmaas was making convivial conversation with the mother of a young teen who rides a gelding named Black Sultan (Sully for short). We were commiserating about the many manifestations of manure when Gillian uttered this immortal sentence:
“Every two weeks or so, I have to wash Sully’s...” short pause... “woowoo.”
Now I should point out that Gillian is a successful gynaecologist and is quite likely to know that the correct technical terminology would be “... I have to wash Sully’s penis.” She also has an earthy sense of humour and would be expected to be able to utter the phrase “...Sully’s cock.”
Perhaps she worried about my fragile masculine sensibilities. Maybe if it had been “just the girls” ...
At any rate, the conversation sat like a piece of grit in my mind. Last winter a poem materialised, pearl-like, and now perhaps a poetry challenge.
Hark?
Do I hear a spluttering sound?
“Surely d’maas, even you don’t expect *me* to write a poem about horse ...erm ... thingies?”
No sweet poet. I certainly do not.
The point of the story is that woowoo is not just long and meaty, but it is a...
EUPHEMISM
This is a euphemism challenge.
Rule 1:
The poem must be an erotic poem. (Shush Rybby! You can do it.)
Rule 2:
All words used in the poem must be suitable for use in a conversation over tea with the vicar and several maiden aunts. Rule 2 therefore demands the use of euphemism
Rule 3:
The euphemism may be any word that meets Rule 2. It may be a made up word. It may be a phrase or other group of words. However the context should leave no doubt as to it’s meaning. (This is a significant problem for woowooku poets. Fifteen syllables leaves little room for developing context. Only trained professionals should attempt a woowooku.)
Rule 4: (The Pussy Rule)
Although “pussy” meets the conditions of Rule 2, it is lame and overworked and will result in disqualification.
Posting details and a sample to illustrate the rules to follow.
respectfully,
darkmaas.
Last edited:
