Female Orgasm / speed vs. intensity.

First let me introduce myself a little. I am a very happily married man, 45 years old and I work for a global IT services company. I've been married for 23 years on Sunday to a truly wonderful woman. We've been together a total of 27 years on Monday. We've raised 3 children who are now young adults in their own right - and one of them has even presented us with a darling grand-daughter. Our sex-life over the years has gone up and down - frequency has declined over the years and due to illnesses over the past 10 - 15 years sometimes we have gone months without having sex. We seem to be over that now though and probably have sex about once or twice a week on average - mostly at weekends since I work away from home.

My wife never has had an orgasm through intercourse - fairly early on we worked out that she could however have an orgasm very readily through oral sex. As a young man, heaven only knows why, but I saw this as a chore ... now nothing turns me on more than kissing and licking her. I love doing it. She tastes great, it is so intimate and I just love giving her orgasms. So for the better part of 27 years now - we've relied on this. And it has never failed us. We don't have penetrative sex everytime - sometimes we do and we both enjoy that - it tends to come after my wife has had her orgasm. Sometimes she'll return the oral favour or sometimes she'll give me a handjob. I love it all - whatever we do it is great.

Now - then so what's this all about you're wondering. Well, I don't know why - perhaps it is that the kids are grown up. But we have a bit more time at home alone these days and we seem to have been having a bit more fun with sex recently. About a year ago I bought my wife a vibrator for a present - this was at a time when I was lll and my libido was non-existent. I didn't really ask - but recently she did say that she used it occasionally. Then about a month ago she went to a party at a friend's house where there was someone selling adult toys etc. My wife asked if I wanted her to buy anything - I suggested that she get some lingerie of her choosing and why not get some toy or other. She said what about you? I jokingly said "Oh get me a vibrating cock-ring or something". Well she took me at my word.

Anyhow - last weekend these toys arrived and we had some fun with them. Well with the cock-ring ... my wife was having her period at the time so she didn't want to have intercourse. But we put the cock-ring on me and used the vibrator on it and it was great. I then said - well what about you? She was near the end of her period ... and to be honest I am not that squeamish but she preferred not to have me licking down there. So I said OK then what about using the vibrator - she was a bit reluctant at first. But after a little gentle persuasion .. she did. And I sucked her nipples while she was doing it.

What happened next amazed me. After about a minute she said "there that's it" ... I didn't believe that she had come and said "Really". She laughed and assured me that she had. I felt like I had blinked and missed it. It didn't seem very intense. Now I know my wife is an honest person - and if she says that she orgasmed then she almost certainly did. The only shadow of doubt in my mind is that she was reluctant initially to use the vibrator with me there... but I don't think she was lying to me, just to shut me up. She's always very sensitive after she orgasms and doesn't want to be touched on her clitoris ... no big surprise ... and she said "try touching me if you like". But I didn't ... I believed her. I was just so taken aback - not so much by how quickly, but how "low key" it seemed.

Compared with - when I give her oral sex - depending upon our mood - it can take anything from a few minutes to half an hour or more. And sure - sometimes it is more intense for her than others - but I have never experienced her orgasm in such a low key way before. With oral sex - there has never been any doubt in my mind.

Just wondered if this was unusual and would welcome any advice from you lovely people here.

I hope that my wife and I will continue to have fun enhancing our sex lives with these toys - I am sure that we will. I have a plan up my sleeve to perhaps use the vibrator in conjunction with me giving her oral sex. I'll let you know how that works out !!

Take care,

GG

Welcome to Lit, and congrats on the upcoming anniversary!

(And let me just say that you're NOT a geezer. My hubby's older than you are, and we have two toddlers! )

So, obviously you know that it's not uncommon for women NOT to have orgasms through intercourse alone. The two of you seem to have gotten around that issue (if it IS one) just fine! I think it's great that you're trying new things together.

I can understand why you might be wondering about the speed/intensity thing. Seems perfectly typical to me. I've found that the intensity of my orgasm varies depending on whether it's clitoral or g-spot, and my mood/stress levels also play a role.

Just for fun, you might want to take a look at this thread, if you haven't already.

Sorry

I can't help myself.

Have you guys tried the GSpot TECHNIQUE that is discusses at "TRY THIS AND REPORT BACK" yet ???

If you're looking to enhance your love life in a BIG way this is probably the way to blow her socks off.

Take a look if you haven't already and welcome to the wunnerful woild of GeezerSex.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=70892

Itotally emphatizewith u

Wow

Married for 23 years thats awesome! Well as for me it takes me a long time to have an orgasm. I feel so sorry for my husband because I can keep him up for 2-3 hours before I cum (I'm only 22). Mine are always strong and intense and I usually scream because they are so intense. He says he likes it but he's always exhausted. I'm always really sore afterwards too so I envy your wife that she can have a good orgasm and not be winded and sore. It is a possibility because my college roomate would use her vibrator and barely make a sound but her sheets would be soaking so it is definatly possible.

Welcome!

Let me preface my hypotheses with it sounds like you have an incredible relationship and sex life, and I'm not suggesting your wife is anything but genuine with you. I have a couple of thoughts based on experience though:

- When I masturbate (almost always with a vibe because the orgasms are better and multiples are easier), I don't make a lot of noise. Unlike oral, manual, or sex, neither the toy nor I need feedback. Some noise does add to the experience, but I can be very quiet or even silent. When I'm using a toy with a partner, I prefer to make noise because I think it adds to the experience for both of us (especially if my husband's touching me or sucking my nipples or something...I enjoy letting him know when he he's hitting "spots"), but I can also be rather quiet. That kind of touching doesn't necessarily require as much feedback as oral because I know when I'm doing the right thing. The other thing that goes along with this is I tend to be more quiet when I'm using a new toy because it takes some concentration and getting used to. Hopefully that makes some sort of sense.

-This may just be me, but when we first introduced toys, I was hesitant to seem too enthusiastic. I remember toning down my responses because I didn't want my husband to get the idea that the toys were better than him or I preferred them to him. THEY WEREN'T and I DIDN'T, but people get hung up on that sometimes. It took quite awhile for me to feel comfortable responding to the toys at all. I'm pretty good at playing down even intense orgasms when necessary, though a lot depends on the toy, so it can be done. Please understand I did this because I love, value, and enjoy making love to my husband more than anything else, so if your wife was playing it down, it's because she feels the same way as I do.

Thank you all

Eilan said "The two of you seem to have gotten around that issue (if it IS one) just fine!"

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Oh yes, we're fine about the lack of orgasm during intercourse because we've learnt that it is not a problem - we have that issue beat with oral sex ;-) Of course, when I was an impetuous youth I thought it was because I was doing something wrong - and who knows perhaps I was. But we're past that now I think. I do have one desire though ... and this is where the toys come in ... or could come in handy. I'd *love* to have my cock inside her when she orgasms ... I have always imagined that would feel marvelous.

1 7|-|1|\||{ $|-|3 1$ £¥1|\|9!

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Unfortunately Bacterio I don't speak 733T .... but hey let's see just how much of a cunning linguist I can be eh? LOL. I THINK SHE IS LYING. Well, thanks for your view - as you can probably tell from my post I think that their is a slight chance that she was. But I posted this thread to get answers from the ladies mostly - because I was pretty sure I would get some considered reponses and I did.

Have you guys tried the GSpot TECHNIQUE that is discusses at "TRY THIS AND REPORT BACK" yet ???

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Mr. GGG - that was one of the first threads that I read when I first came to lit a few weeks ago. I'd really like to try that with my sweetie. I do intend to discuss it with her - rather than just start doing something that I have never done before. Maybe this coming weekend eh? What an anniversary present that would be!!

Itotally emphatizewith u

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Thanks Gerardo.

Sexy Dancer thanks for your response - it was really helpful.

Unlike oral, manual, or sex, neither the toy nor I need feedback. Some noise does add to the experience, but I can be very quiet or even silent.

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Sweet Erika that makes a lot of sense ... and ...

This may just be me, but when we first introduced toys, I was hesitant to seem too enthusiastic. I remember toning down my responses because I didn't want my husband to get the idea that the toys were better than him or I preferred them to him. THEY WEREN'T and I DIDN'T, but people get hung up on that sometimes. It took quite awhile for me to feel comfortable responding to the toys at all. I'm pretty good at playing down even intense orgasms when necessary, though a lot depends on the toy, so it can be done. Please understand I did this because I love, value, and enjoy making love to my husband more than anything else, so if your wife was playing it down, it's because she feels the same way as I do.

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I think that this paragraph hits the nail on the head. Thank you. And I intend to make sure that she realises that I am having as much fun with these toys as she is. As far as I can work out <grin> Orgasms feel good - so why not have as many of them as you want?

Thank you all once again for replying.

GG

GG: congratulations! :>

ed

Actually, as far as I know from only some starting experience with toys, vibrators just don't give me very intense orgasms. I'm faster with them than without, so if I need to get me done quickly and then go on with doing something else, that's great. It's also a nice feeling, but just not very intense orgasm.
And hey, I seem to have the same inability to orgasm from intercourse, and yes, we did get to the same technique you did... Well, I'm still hoping that some day I might be able to orgasm more easily.

Sounds like you have a pretty good relationship, GG

I'm envious. Enough has been said about the quick O. I've had friends where they could only cum when I was manipulating their clit in some way while we were having intercourse. Sounds like that's something to try.
Maybe your vibrating cock ring on her clit while you're inside her?
Or some other toy?

Does she have a sister?

I have noticed that my wifes orgasms get more intense/cum quicker depending on what time of the month it is in her cycle although this is not always entirely true.This morning(this is day 27 of her cycle)She came very hard upon my penetrating her,she tends to do that.She claims that sometimes the sound of my voice on the telephone makes her cum(this astounds me).I also notice that her ability to ejaculate changes with what time of the month it is.She also ejaculates from vaginal sex,and in different positions.