All Comments on 'A Chance Encounter'

I'd be lieing if I said I had

a clue what this poem was about but it sounded

like christmas at my nonfunctional ex wifes

so I laughed and enjoyed it that way.

merry christmas

came across as too bulky, yet still beautiful. Perhaps you could give this a trim, and lose the word "milky". It brings something unnatural to what you are saying. Other than that, I kept hearing a John Lennon song as I read this, it should sing of your own self. Just a suggestion. I do enjoy your work!!

"cinnamon dreams" I personally adore cinnamon in a poem.

I love the repetition of "so this is Christmas."

I like this:

"another set

of trembling fingertips

when we lingered tipsy"

"that others try as they might

to plaster plastic to their

indoor universe"

I'm not sure about plaster and plastic being side by side. I love the lines that follow:

there are stars

in the lines of her palm

I'm not sure about the line breaks around "gift wrapping."

Love this stanza:

"glowing in the corners

they keep us company

and wait for the sun"

I just like the way glowing in the corners sounds. And keep us company and wait for the sun is great. The entire stanza just really works.

This stanza is great and some parts not so great:

"on idle breath

in candle lit air

blood red lips

raven black hair

and under those lids

glacier twin embers

almost cyan

hibernate"

I love "idle breath." I would use a phrase like that. "almost cyan, hibernate" Love that. I'm not super crazy about "blood red lips" and "raven black hair." Cliche but there are so many good phrases around those two that they're cushioned by originality. :) Still, I'd like to see them changed.

"sleep now

questions too basic to utter

will linger unspoken

to be collected and released

with the scattered stars

we captured

come morning"

Simply love this stanza. What's not to love?

In the last stanza, I'd be tempted to drop "I guess."

Hope that promise is kept, Liar, if only to see it inspire more poems like this one.

The images it evokes and the breathless wonder. Incredible. ~Imp

??? "betlehem's star" ???

Just because it is unstructured poetry doesn't excuse a lack of spell check.

You don't buy votes, also, do you?

someone put troll bait in your pockets huh??

lucky you.

Great images , and I liked the repeated Lennon line myself.

It gave a mood to the poem

and I agree with Eve

This verse

~on idle breath

in candle lit air

blood red lips

raven black hair

and under those lids

glacier twin embers

almost cyan

hibernate~

despite the cliches is a great picture.

Sometimes cliches paint the clearest picture

Nice work....

and thanks for buying my vote

; )

It is with sadness that you take something as sweet, holy and sacrament as my Jesus' birth, and try to make something erotic about it. But what can we expect from mostly pagan observation of something holy? As a formally educated Theologian, it is obvious to me that you have done little about your religious views except to study portions of the book they call the Bible. Read other books, notably the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Nag Hammadi Library, and READ-don't listen to what other people say about Jesus. Look in the Internet at sites called Glastonbury.com, or jammupress.com, and find out for yourself what Jesus THE Christ was all about.

I believe there is room for eroticism stories and I believe that there is room for Jesus stories, but the two do not need intermixed, even if you are Jew. Read about Jesus' wife/wives Mary Magdelene and Martha, read about His son, Josephus, and you will see for yourself. Excuse yourself from paganism and traditional Protestantism, Catholicism, Mormonism and read the TRUTH. You might come away a different person....

I read this poem more than twice because it seemed to touch something inside me. My favorite line "there are stars in the lines of her palm, they landed when she beckoned, and gently closed her fist", just seemed to me that not only are there stars but a heart as well...hopefully not tossed aside or scattered... Just touching.

~Honey

Christmas is love. The serene musicality of the entire piece is extraordinary and the language used fits that purpose completely.

I think you meant to say "homey" instead of "homely", in the fourth stanza, and - while being a gorgeous graphic image - I would probably have chosen a different, warmer word, instead of the "glacial" twin embers. Small details in the greater context of the poem, though.

As an aside to don87654, "To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their mind and their conscience are defiled. They profess that they know God, but by their works they deny him, being abominable, disobedient, and unfit for any good work."

Oh my ~

Some folk can be sooo touchy;

My favorite time of year

A pagan celebration going back

Many thousand years and, coincidently

My birthday;

And along with what Eve said,

The delicious flavor of cinnamon

Makes this all so special.

A lovely Christmas rendering ~ Santa's bag filled with rich images and descriptions - sometimes mystical wording makes this a nice read.

This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 34,000 poems.

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this was an enigma of yule. TK U MLJ LV NV