- Non-Erotic Poetry
- This place blows
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Click hereThis place blows
Life blows
in general, but more specifically this day
I have shingles
and
I AM JUST
waiting for a hurricane
to blow them away
Maybe
on to some unspecified personal pronoun
- COMMENTS
KOLKOREabout 16 years agoPoetry allows metaphors to transcend the logic of a linear narrative. With the better poems the two (or more) meanings merge into a broader meaning. It could be a statement about the explosiveness or the vulnerability of our condition on this earth either from within or from the outside. All stated in highly economical language.
LeBrozover 16 years agoBeen rather lucky in that my chicken pox hasn't returned to haunt me. So, feeling pourly, are you? Well, keep on pouring till you feel no more pain and gather new insights into your condition — or pass out in euphoric brilliant bliss.
champagne1982over 16 years agoLeft me wondering where the metaphorical "this place" is and how hard will the blow that falls be. You have my sympathies. Poor narrator, poor pronoun and only poor in the sense you feel, not in the way you think... Wonderful poem.
WickedEveover 16 years agoAngeline: "lots of room for interesting conflicting images (like shingles the disease versus roof shingles" The poem did leave me wondering about that. Roof, disease, either way it works.
darthjserover 16 years agoI was drawn to the title and the poem illustrates it well where problems sometimes causes one to throw up hands and let time pass ... ...
Bill Dadaover 16 years agoI loved it and unspecified personal pronouns, all round the world are shitting their pant.
UnderYourSpellover 16 years agoMade your point I think lol but with shingles anyone is entitled to be cranky! (not offense intended!)
Angelineover 16 years agobut your "not best" is way better than most poems I read here. Very funny and topical, but what I like most about it is how deceptive your diction and line breaks are. Lots of room for interpretation, lots of room for interesting conflicting images (like shingles the disease versus roof shingles). It takes a lot of skill (or talent, whatever you want to call it) to do that.
Your poem has been recommended today in the New Poem Review thread on the Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read. :)
RoniBover 16 years agoF'n hilarious! And far too familiar: I had the rashes etc about 6 years ago. Way more painful than one might think huh? And until then, i had had no idea what shingles were. Damned chickens, a pox on them!
I am DYING to know who you wish to blow this outbreak onto! Ga-Zing! Nice surprise ending, wonderful prosaic poetry (yes, that's a compliment too).
