All Comments on 'Dani Undressed'

Great to read from a story that if more than a "fuck yarn" and shows some ability & immagination. Well done

Wake us when you learn to write, Loser!

I'm impressed with the story angle. Not just another bro-sis story. Good imagination with just enough sibling emotion to make it belivible. Good work.

...with 1 helluva surprising twist at the end!

Good characterization and a really wild twist at the end. Made for a very enjoyable story. Though I do feel a bit sorry for Joanne who remained a cardboard character to the last.

Good story, but you fumble when trying to use the big words. Lose them!

good start but a cold ending i felt. the last part was forced to say the least the whole found the right girl bit was laughable, she screwed him to get into a club please that sucks i got the whole unrequited love in the first part but the last left me with a bad tast in my mouth.

Write.....More

Incest with a different twist. Good luck on the contest.

need I say more

Some of these comments obviously come from people trying to cram in too many reads... I think this was a sensual and very erotic twist on the ol' bro-sis story with some great surprises in the plot! Its going on my favorites page. Do a follow-up.

I really enjoyed this different look at brother/sister sex. Well-written and very erotic!

~Sarah

perhaps a little unbelievable... but not bad nonetheless

Not your best story, but very nice indeed. I agree with some of the things others have said. Joann did remain a cardboard character. I think a better ending would have been Joanns reaction to the video. Maybe a phone call or her storming over to confront him. And I personally dont get why she had to go to KINKO's to edit and send the video...besides dont you think somone at the store might have noticed the type of video? Now I'm not trying to nit pick...just a simple observation. Anyways good luck on the contest. Jessi

wow ive read a lot of stories on here but this one realy stood out.i absolutly loved it...

This is a sensational, luscious story. She is so enticing, so desirable! And the way it's written makes it eminently believable, even if the premise isn't really.

I have to wonder about some of the other commenters here though: Joanne isn't a cardboard character, because Joanne doesn't appear. At all. -- And _big words_? Is that cretin _serious_? How illiterate do you have to be to think this contains "big words"??

Very well done. Ignore the nonsense, and keep writing like this!

This is funny. I thought it was very good. The best thing about it was it had humor.

I would love to read more on this story

Screw the other negative asses, this was a well thought out story, with the right hint of mystique, I think. As an aside, those that leave comments, especially negative ones, should post their user names, as it is only fair for the author to find you and ask what you felt was worng. Simply saying "Learn how to write" isn't constructive criticism, it's just being an ass.

Loved it, keep up the good work

I loved this story. I was a little confused in the beginning much like he was, but the writing and the stroy kept me going. I still was confused when they stopped at kinko's but when she explained everything...what an wonderful suprise. Keep up the good work!!

personally i would have beat the shit out of her.

out of all of the stories on this site,yours are my favorite especially this one keep up the great work

that was great i have read it before and loved it then, it still gets two fingers in my panties... (which is all there is room for)

i read some of the other comments since i am a huge fan of all your other stories and was struck by a sense of- envy.

cant wait for more

This story was really hot and very humorous. I would like to read more about these two siblings. Keep writing...you do it well.

That was the perfect time for him to show her what angry sex feels like. To take her and make her completely his. To fuck her into unconsciousness. Or wait, maybe I just dreamt that. Great story as usual.

great story hope there is more .

shitty endding no guy would act like that when she told him she sent the video to his girlfriend he would have kicked out of the car and left her downtown then gone home and called some friends to find a place to live and move out keep it sounding real he sure wouldn't fuck or suck her again

I definitely loved this story the first time, and still thoroughly enjoyed it the second time. I think the ending was a bit too much though. That's perhaps my only criticism. It would've been better for the brother to see where the sister was coming from, but still not like her. Then as they begin to get down again at the very end, he'd think something like 'Maybe in time I'll realize what she's done for me' or along those lines. Just an idea. Great writing! Love your hot stories.

Tony

The posters who thought this story was funny have to mean that in an "it was so stupid it was funny" kind of way. Those who thought it "realistic" need to have their meds adjusted. Maybe then they can leave the asylum sooner.<br><br>Yeah, this story was "inventive", and "not just another brother/ sister story". The writing was adequate and all, but the plot was a kick in the gut. Sis is a psycho.<br><br>So what if sis was right and Cardboard Joanne was the wrong one for bro? Seriously, if you were the bro, and were open to a sexual relationship with sis, (which was sprung on you out of the blue and by the same person who, in the same maneuver, gutted your relationship with your fiancee and caused who knows how much collateral damage) could you ever trust sis knowing what she did? No. Sis is a bunny-boiler waiting to happen. Bro looks at another babe one day and wakes up the next with his peter lopped off at the base and roasting on a spit on the rotisserie. "This thing just gets you into trouble, dear brother. Now stop whining and eat me out." No thanks.<br><br>Another thing. This quiet, odd chick who never talks to anybody is suddenly going to become a member of a secret panty club or whatever? Why? And the crowd she runs with that do that sort of thing is going to be satisfied with her doing just that one thing, are they? Yeah, the plot was realistic alright. NOT!<br><br>Maybe your other stuff is better, but damned if I'll read it to find out.

because it doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility. While the sister's planning required a number of factors to work, The story did't feel as contrived as most of the stories seem to. Bravo!

Sorry mate, but this was just rubbish. The story was good until the end, and then you just rushed it to get finished. There is no way Paul would take that so easily. He would be furious with her, refuse her advances, and refused to talk to her for several days. This was a betrayal neverless, and to be corrupted by his own trusted sister would make Paul give her the cold shoulder. Dani would open up, and give him the complete story, and try to convince him. That would make the story complete, and a good one.

Great story man, keep up the good work

CAUGHT ME TOTALLY BY SUPRISE!! TERIFFIC STORY!!ENOUGH WOOD TO BUILD AN ARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sis' determination is mind boggling, but then it's sweet. The sex scene is very hot. It could use a follow up where he reciprocates the favor.

I thought I remembered the Panty Girls Society story. Great description of the girl - the visual image in my head is awesome.

Wish I had a little sister like you

have fun

Lol. That was all kinds of fucked up! Sister with hot body and awesome crazy sex or no, he needs to get the hell away from her at top speed! This is one crazy, psychotic, nutjob lune! Rofl!! Imagine his sorry ass if she got pissed at him and flipped out? I've seen that kind of craZy before and stay the hell aeay from it!! Hehehe. Awesome, wild sex, but ohhh the downsides!!

Well written and steamy story. A real turn on. Great job. :-)

Did you write the original or is this a copy of it? I've read it before and enjoyed reading it again just as much as the first time. Maybe more as the first reading didn't have the anticipation that this one had; knowing what was cumming and forcing myself to not push forward, just read it at a nice slow pace and savor every word.

If you wrote the original, that many kudos to you. It's an amazing story and kept me just as captivated each time. If you didn't, you should let people know it's a repost of an amazing story.

Awesome story. Sweet, short, and oh-so-hot! I can't wait to check out everything else you've written now!

What a wimp to allow lil sis to run his life...

Great story. Shows what a sister wants a sister gets. Shame this author isn't still writing would have loved a sequel to this story.

So now that sis joined the club what happens if she has to fuck 3 guys at once or go to a frat party and have a train ran on her? Does she become a whore for some stupid ass club full of whores? Is sis and bro a couple now or she just fucking him cause she is a slut?

You should have kept it up... I mean your writing. :-)

I agree a 100% with Joshuad2477s

Excellent story with a very determined leading lady!

Would I be happy if this happened to me, or react exactly the same way? Probably not, but this story works as is, is hot, resolved, and yet points to an interesting future.

That future is seemingly complicated enough that more story would be good, but, you seem to have moved on from this site.

Good luck wherever....

what an stupid whore und idiotic MC

1*

Preposterous at best. The author describes a brother who ps as stupid as that-box of rocks. He pught tp try writing stories that are somewhere in the realm of believability. MM