by Rumple Foreskin
I think you need more sex in this, it's definitely bereft of erotic elements! Seriously, you might have gotten away from the "insert tab a into slot b" syndrome by having them play strip poker or truth or dare, emphasizing sexual toys or more masturbation scenes, focusing on underwear, forced stripping, or possibly even homosexual elements. The sky's the limit, yet you used a lot of words on largely plain vanilla flavored sex. How about tutti-frutti? Good luck!
I hardly recognized it from the draft!!!! Great job... as for me... there was enough vanillia... don't need any tutti fruiti! Sorry for the 5 bomb.. I know you were hopin for og last place award! Fear not however.. there are still the trolls lurking in the bushes.. but with this story.. they're prolly influenced to screw in there.
My mind just can't seem to get away from those two words...it brings such an image of...sex to it. As did your story, damn, think you could have put any more sex in it? I'm impressed, a definite panty wetter. Just one question, did your computer start smoking while you were writing this?
Wow, you sure do know how to pack it in!!
This was great fun - thanks! Congrats on the epic
& best of luck in the contest!!
Rumpy... your killing me. *lol*
I was thinking you could do a sequel and put all of the possible sex combinations and use every position in all the sex books.... either that or you were definitely trying to break some poor people's hands. *huggles still laughing*
Always, Lizzy
Good lord man what have you done to these poor characters. Will they ever be able to enjoy one-on-one "regular" sex again? I don’t think so. You have left them with the terrible burden of high expectations. You are a bad man, shame on you.
Great story, thanks.
This story turned me into one naughty slavie. Orgasms are Master's perogative and i just HAD to sneak one in by the third page. i have to say that i could've cum a lot more and a lot sooner if i hadn't been reluctant to break the rules! umm..well, break them MORE. lol i love that Ray & Cindy are closer, as is everyone else. And putting the ass vs giant Italian cock in was inspired.
*phew* fans herself as she goes to hunt for dry panties...
Rumple, I just took a bath but after reading this I need to hose myself down again! "Xcess" reminded me of both "The Big Chill" and "Eyes Wide Shut," simutaneously! Jesus Christ...whew!
I lost count! Whew! Six hot, sweaty, writhing, passionate pages of lust... does it get any better than this??? *still panting* wowwwwwww... fantastic effort, Rump. Good luck in the contest! :)
a romp of a tail rump <grin> those who stayed in the saddle get the charming ending, now I need a fan <grin> I mean I am a fan!
good luck and Merry Christmas (~_~)
............let me cool down......catch my breath......and ...er...clean up a little. Wow Rump, you outdid yourself. What a HOT!!! story. Thanks
You are one wild and crazy person, you know that????
Loved it...love you...
~Honey
i would be in a coma, happily after a vacation such as this. action packed...or should i say penis packed? tale or tail? oh my.. im turning punny.
Great job, my hero.
*hugs*
v~
... to read 6 Lit pages, but am 5-bombing you anyway. Happy Holidays & good luck in the contest! ~Imp
That was one wild ride. I only know the holidays are never like that around here. :D What a sextravaganza you have written Rumply. Good luck!
Cookie :)
Damn Rumple. I read and enjoyed every word. In fact, I was rather inspired to really enjoy it! :)
Perhaps not a holiday calssic, but you defintely got that Karma thing going here :)
Excellent story. Very well written and hot. I will agree with sack that there coulda been other stuff besides just constant fucking..but hey it's your story :) You did a great job with it.
Happy Holidays and best of luck,
Ali
or words to that extent, will be reverberating inside my skull for a looong time. LOL
You really did write six pages of smut, dear Reverend.
But I enjoyed it tremendously, especially because you managed to insert a lot of humor in it.
Good luck.
Black Tulip
and quite smutty. However, I did notice a few paragraphs where there was no sex happening, but I guess that's okay. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to finish the second part of my contest entry, which is will be shorter than this but more thoroughly raunchy, including lesbianism, analingus and gay male.
Rumple!
Wonderful, all 6 pages, full of sex...
Have a wonderful (sex filled) Merry Xmas and a Very Full New Year.
John
if any one wants to gets piks or chat and get naughty add me love4sx@hotmail.co.uk add me im really horney i have skype aswell.
A fucks B who can't wait to fuck C while D is eating E's wife's brother's sister's cunt—and on and on for six BORING pages. This is so fucking original I can't believe it. I mean, your spelling is your own.
Why people are wetting themselves over this repetitive dreck is really a mystery.