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Click hereChampagne straw crackles beneath dusting powder
drifting out of the cold dark of the sky.
The frost moon rises,
sparkling on topaz leaves - frozen edges
of the beaver pond crystallizing, as they swim.
There is a clarity to the sky
in the full of the moon as it gleams.
Autumn's end drifting into winter's sleep
silence follows the industry of summer
and waits for spring.
What an awesome moon poem you've written, such great visual/tactile imagery that I want to put on a parka. ;)
I never have seen better opening two words:
"Champagne straw"
right colour; contrasting, it is not an association I would make,
then I noticed who wrote it
the first five lines have that and:
"topaz leaves"
again not a common association.
beaver pond crystallizing
"crystallizing" is such a tough word to work with, too many starting poets use the word because it is an apt metaphor for the trade (poetry), this is avoided here because it is true description of what is happening, and rises to genius by its association with the word "beaver".
I like the "z" sounds used, it emphasizes the feeling of crispness, frost.
you know all the show dont tell talk only applies sometimes.... with all the beautiful showing you did in this poem, the tell line stood out as my favorite
"There is a clarity to the sky "
you always have such a wonderful way of arranging images, th is is no exception.
Thanks!
no thermo
the last verse.
It could be a poem all on it's own.
Excellent writing and phrasing.