An Empire of Ashes

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62 words
4.82
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You are the powdered pigmentation
Left from a butterfly’s wings
On my calloused hands.
On a child, it’d be metaphorical.
On me,
I just look like a murderer
As if I ended the monarch.

You are the cocoon
That wouldn’t break
When I needed out.
Forcing me to watch life
Through the fissures
As I wasted away into
A beautiful monarch corpse.

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8 Comments
unapologeticunapologeticalmost 17 years ago
I agree with the E

I've been obsessed with butterflies lately - I love this.

LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
~~

Has a Janus-like feel to it ~ be either a killer or victim. The symmetry of the piece had me bouncing between the 2 strophes.

nz_marienz_marieabout 17 years ago
A definite E

I agree with the last comment, this fine piece deserves an E along side the nice big red H .... E for excellent.

I loved it, had to read it a few times and each time seemed better :)

4degrees4degreesabout 17 years ago
ya, this is it.

a perfect poem. being crushed never sounded so fucking nice.

great job...you need an E.

TheRainManTheRainManabout 17 years ago
fine read . . .

i haven't commented on a "New Poem" in a while, but i like your style, your images, your subtlety. and i like everything about this poem,

except the capital letters at the beginning of each line.

it is my opinion that your writing is too good, in modern terms, to hold true to that antique and arbitrary method. it actually hurts the poem, i think, by placing emphasis in the wrong place in many instances.

you are a fine addition to Lit.

TheRainMan

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