"A Cock, It's Me" Revisited

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lorencino
lorencino
18 Followers

Though I have checked back often enough, nothing can shake my belief that, from a purely literary point of view, this is the finest poem I have ever written. (OK, hyperbole is a bad habit of mine, but it is a kind of naughty fun.) When I wrote and published it here last year I read it to my wife. She stopped me when I got the word "bitch" and said she really could not see anything beyond that word. It was anathema to her. I protested that the word was crucial to the whole sense of the poem and that it would become lame without it. She was not convinced in the slightest and remained adamant that the word had to go if she was to listen to the poem.

Then it struck me: There was indeed a more powerful though vastly more subtle word, a word that drew its power in part from the subtlety the word "bitch" does not enjoy. So I read the poem to her again with my new word and she admitted that it was rather good. Then, humbly gratified that my wife had approved, I went to delete the older version and substitute the new only to realize that I could not do that without also deleting the wonderful comments I had received.

The name also seems to have been something of a branding problem and hardly the stuff of literary excellence at first glance, but it is the only honest name I can come up with right now.

So I'm leaving the old to preserve the generous comments and adding this as the "official" version with the name somewhat intact.

[BTW Can you feel, if you mouth the words silently while reading, how sensuously the tongue and your pallet interact when forming the sound "cock." "Cork," which is close, simply fails to produce that same magic in the mouth.]

Then I made a few more tweaks and relized it never ends . . .

A Cock, it's Me 2

a cock
it's true, I am all cock at times
and you allow it
celebrate it
become the hand that caresses it
tenderly
lingeringly
the lips that embrace it warmly,
languidly
the swollen cunt that swallows it
whole,
wetly
the woman that rides it demandingly
sweatily
until it drags your pleasure explosively
to beyond oblivion
and I rest with you,
now infinitely more than cock

lorencino
lorencino
18 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
11 Comments
Nicegirlxx63Nicegirlxx63over 5 years ago
I like the intro.

I am revisiting this site after a short absence. I liked the way you wrote the Intro. But yes the poem could also stand alone. Hope you and others return and write more soon. x

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Interesting contrast...

I read both versions of this poem, and while use of the word "bitch" in the first version didn't put me off, I did find it a little jarring until I came to the conclusion that you were likely (and I'm being presumptuous here in trying to interpret your meaning) attempting to convey the animalistic element of the sex act itself. The poem's emphasis is on body parts--cock and cunt--but also in the transcendence of those parts into a spiritual connection one has with a partner. I love the rhythm of this poem as well. Dare I say it follows the same rhythm of languid lovemaking itself?

buttersbuttersover 11 years ago
infinitely more erotic

than most here despite using cock and cunt; they lend a richness to this piece already textured with sensuality and prove, once again, that it's not the word itself but the way a word is used that makes the impact.

CaribbeanwomanCaribbeanwomanover 14 years ago
beautiful

very beautiful poem

ClaudiahClaudiahover 15 years ago
Beautifully, Simplisticly Raw

I read both versions of your poem, and i have to say, I loved them both. Being that I am not offended by the word "bitch", as I'm sure you know,(you comented to my use of the word cock in one of my poems) I think I liked the orriginal just the way it was.

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