Bastards!

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Why is it that women love bastards?
We do! And the truth of it brings
Me to my opinion it's in the Darwinian
Natural order of things.

Are such men pre-disposed to be bastards
Or tutored as babes on the breasts
To be utterly charming, deft and disarming
Till they have us enthralled and undressed?

Are there bastardy badges at boy scouts?
Are the basic skills honed whilst at cubs?
In the dark, fetid gloom of some 'Men Only' room
Is it this they're discussing in pubs?

There are husbands who'll claim that they're single
Or their wives are too frigid or grand
But the unvarnished truth is their Sybil or Ruth
Know they're bastards – and DO understand.

They'll claim that they're staying late working
When they're chatting up girls fresh from school
And at quarter past two they'll crawl back to you
Still covered in lipstick and drool.

Yet the bastard will tell you he loves you
And your dressing gown falls in a heap
But the sum of his lust's a half dozen thrusts –
Then he's dreaming of her in his sleep.

Why is it that women love bastards?
The deeper the question one delves,
The more we'll regret: it helps us forget
We're not quite so perfect ourselves!


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18 Comments
case28case28almost 11 years ago
Brilliant!

I love your work. You're poetry is inspiring.

tazz317tazz317almost 12 years ago
AN ILLOGICAL TERM

for those not of the same sperm. TK U MLJ LV NV

estragonestragonabout 13 years ago
Channeling R. Kipling

Brilliantly. Girl, you know how to write!

IraniaIraniaover 14 years ago
Sister!

I just found this poem and it is but freaky good. Ain't they just that? Da basterds. Tell ya' what is baby, met a few girlies in my short visit to the planet who meet the defn just more an a bits. Absolutely frickin awesomely stupendously coolio deliciously radically differentest poem about da basterd dat ever a lesbo could read. I swear if I didn't have a girlfriend . . .

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