Secret Love Ch. 4
by Deann Laws ©
Warning: This does contain material involving same sex relations, if you are offended by this in any way then don't read it. This is only for fun, and not meant for anything else.
There we were sitting on the couch, me rambling away trying to ease Lauri into feeling comfortable and not having to make her feel forced in anyway in having to tell me anything, but she surprised me. She interrupted me, and after a few moments of laughing and enjoying the moment Lauri became serious with me again.
"So Samantha, where were we?" Lauri paused for a few moments and moved closer to me on the couch. "I really do want to get this out in the open and finally explain things to you. Please Samantha, don't think I'm being forced into saying anything just because I know you have feelings for me. I want to tell you how I truly feel, and not what was said that day. It's very scary and confusing for me, I don't admit to understand any of this really or how it came about, but all I know Samantha is that I, too, have feelings for you. I don't know really when it started or how it developed but after all that has happened the past few weeks between us, our kiss, us arguing, my fears that day, and then seeing you lay in that hospital fighting for your life. Well it's made me realize that you mean something to me, that your important to me. Damn..." Lauri said flustered. "This isn't really coming out the right way."
"Lauri, it's okay. Just tell me what you feel now from your heart. There is no wrong way to tell someone the truth."
"Samantha, I'm not good at expressing my feelings, and to tell you the truth I'm very nervous here. You bring out all these new feelings in me that I haven't felt before and I'm confused and scared and just so many feelings all at once. I don't know how this will work out Samantha or where any of this will lead but I do care for you...well, more than care for you." Lauri hesitated for a few seconds. "Samantha, I think I love you as well. That day these feelings were so overwhelming for me that it scared me too much and I didn't want to admit these feelings to myself either, and the only way I knew how to deal with them was to push you away. And being your instructor well that was the best thing and the right thing to do for everyone concerned, at least I had thought that it was at the time. Now...I still don't know. I didn't know this would happen, or that I would find myself with these feelings for you. I love my husband still and am just so confused!"
Lauri's nerves were shot. She wanted to get away from Samantha and run, but she knew she had to tell Samantha how she felt, even if that meant that she still loved her husband as well and wasn't sure about any of this. "Lauri, I don't know where any of this will lead either. I realize you still love your husband and you have a family, and I don't want to come between that. Lauri, we don't have to go any where with this. I do love you Lauri, and I do understand your confusion and these new feelings that you have. I won't push anything on you that you don't want. How about we don't put any pressure on us at all for anything to happen, okay? We've both been honest in how we feel about each other, so how bout we just take each day as it comes and just see what happens. Let's not expect anything, and just be friends, and if things happen then we'll face that then. But for now I hope we can become good friends anyway." I said reaching for Lauri's hand.
Lauri smiled at me and grabbed my hand as well and gave it a squeeze. Her hands were shaking a little as she held mine.
"Thanks, Samantha, your such a wonderful person. Thanks for understanding me, and being so, well, just being so understanding." Lauri said smiling at me as she squeezed my hand. "And I would love to become a good friend of yours. In fact, I hope we already are."
Lauri leaned in and gave me a gentle hug not wanting to squeeze too much with my sore ribs from the accident that was still recovering. It took me quite by surprise. To feel her arms around me brought my feelings to the surface again that I had to keep in check. I had to remind myself, go slow Samantha, just friends, remember just friends, at least for now I was thinking anyway. I returned the hug and wrapped my arms around Lauri. For a hug it sure seemed to linger longer than what would be considered a normal friendly hug. It felt so nice and warm to feel her arms around me. But I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable so I slightly pulled away and smiled.
If I didn't know better, I had thought I heard a slight disgruntle as I pulled away, but I pretended I heard nothing. She definitely wants this, I thought to myself. I just have to be subtle in letting her see that and make the right moves in making that happen.
It was a silent awkward moment right after the hug as we looked at each other. I didn't want to be forward with her, but at that moment I wanted to kiss her so bad. Memories of our last kiss together flashed through my mind. That kiss in her office was filled with such passion and lust. I shook the thought from my mind. Before I knew what was happening, Lauri was leaning forward and slightly and so softly she kissed my lips. It wasn't like our kiss before, this kiss was so soft and slow. She pulled back and looked at me unsure of herself.
I reached my hand up and cupped her face as I looked within her eyes. That is all she needed for assurance as she leaned forward again and gently pressed her lips to mine. Her arms reaching around me and embracing me as she pulled me gently into her as our kiss deepened. I allowed her tongue entry as I felt her tongue slowly enter me so lovingly. Her kiss was so feathery and light, so gentle like she didn't want to hurt me, but it was so loving that it touched my heart with so much love for her. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as she kissed me. My hand caressed her face as she held me so gently to her. She slightly pulled her lips away while still holding me to her as her hand gently reached up and stroked my face as she looked into my eyes. She was so beautiful at that moment as she looked at me with so much love. The tears began to roll down my cheeks. She gently and lovingly wiped them away as she whispered that she loved me and held me into her once again.
For the rest of that afternoon not much was said between us. She held me close to her that afternoon so lovingly as we just enjoyed our company together. Nothing else happened other than the closeness we shared of opening up our hearts to one another. We watched some tv and just held each other for the rest of the afternoon as we both dozed in and out of sleep, not saying a word.
The kiss we shared on the couch earlier that afternoon was so soft and loving. I wasn't sure where we would go from there, but I just enjoyed this time that we did have together. It was getting late in the evening, and we both ended up snacking on some food that Lauri had in the house, and we talked a little about our life, our feelings. Lauri asked me some questions about what my brother had told her in the hospital about my marriage and all of that so we talked the rest of the night sharing and opening up to each other about our lifes.
We both were unsure where any of this would go, so we just enjoyed each others company and stayed in that closeness that the kiss had brought to us this afternoon and left things with that for now. It was going on past midnight and we were both tired. It had been a touching and very intimate night of sharing and talking, and learning and growing closer together. Lauri talked about her family and showed me pictures of her childhood, and pictures of her own children. She talked about the loss of her father a few years ago to cancer who was her world, and how hard it was at first for her to handle that loss.
I talked to her about my parents being killed and how the loss and closeness of my mother had affected me and how for awhile it had destroyed me. How I lost my way for awhile after that, and how it took me many years to get my life back together again.
We shared so many things together,and found ourselves becoming much closer and understanding each other even better. I found myself falling even more dangerously in love with her. She had my heart, and it scared me. It scared me so much cause I knew she had a life with her husband and children, and I wondered where I fit in all of that in her life. I wanted to be cautious, to not let myself get too close, and turn and run from her...from my feelings, but I just couldn't help myself being even more drawn into her, and loving her even more. I wanted all of her, and it scared the hell out of me.
Lauri got up and helped me up. She helped me up the stairs to the bedroom. I went into the bedroom, but hadn't a clue where my clothes were. Lauri had headed to the bathroom so I scrambled around, and yelled out to Lauri. "Lauri, do you know where my clothes are, the others you brought in earlier?" "Oh yes Samantha, sorry about that. I put some of your clothes in the dresser drawer near the tv stand." Lauri said as she walked in. When I went to your apartment I wasn't sure what to pack so I grabbed quite a few of your things and placed them in the drawers there. I hope you don't mind?"
"No, I don't mind at all. I gave you my keys to get some of my clothes, I guess I didn't expect you to pack my whole apartment. I'm kidding." I said smiling at her. "Thanks, Lauri, I really do appreciate that. Did you happen to pack any of my pj's in there when you went to my apartment?"
"Um, no, I didn't see any. What do you normally sleep in?" Lauri said a bit shy at asking that question.
"Well, normally in the summer I just sleep in my underwear and a t-shirt, but I do have some summer pj's that I wear if I have company staying over." I said smiling again at Lauri. "Well, your welcome to sleep in anything you want, and if you need to borrow any of my t-shirts or anything just let me know, okay?"
"Thanks, Lauri. Well tonight I"ll just wear these shorts and this t-shirt. I don't want to gross you out with all my bandages and all showing so I'll keep them covered."
"Samantha, please don't say that. You wouldn't gross me out with seeing your injuries. Your here to recuperate, remember. And I'm here to help you. So anyway while we're on that subject, can I help you change and help you change any of your dressings?"
"Um...well, I don't want to bother you." I said hesitantly.
"Samantha, please, come on now. Here, tell me what we need to do and I'll help you."
"Well, can you help me remove this shirt. It hurts too much for me to lift my arms up too high."
Lauri walked over to me and helped me slip off my t-shirt. My bandages covered where the doctors had operated, and some I wore as constiction around my ribs to help them repair.
"Lauri, can you reach around here? Yeah, there, that's good. I have some solution there the doctor wants me to wash over the area there to keep it sterile and then I have some bandages in my bag there near the bed I brought in from the hospital."
Lauri grabbed the sterile solution and helped me remove my bandages. Lauri told me to lay down as she cleaned the area for me. I was a bit embarrassed and apprehensive with this but she made me feel at ease. So I laid down on the bed onto my side as Lauri was behind me.
"Samantha if this hurts let me know, I'll try and do this as gently as I can."
"Okay, Lauri. Don't worry I'm use to the nurse doing this so it's okay really."
some sterile gauze and solution and began to gently clean the area where
my stiches were. I jumped a little at first contact but then relaxed into
it as Lauri continued. The bruises and cuts were still evident from my
accident but were healing rather nicely. Even my ribs weren't as sore
and I seemed to have a little more movement. I laid there relaxed as I
felt Lauri's hands gently caring for me. It felt nice having her do this
for me. Lauri then grabbed the bandages and surgical tape and covered
up my stitches. She helped me up again and helped me wear the constriction
suit around my ribs.
|Another top quality story by Deann Laws.|