by Carol Marie ©
It mattered little to me that I had just lost the best job I ever had. What was paining me was the aloof way Maisha had snubbed me the evening before. I had rented a limo, dressed in a new European tux, bought very expensive bubbly and drove to pick her up, and when that womyn came to the door, she asked me,"Whats up babe?."
She was wearing a bathrobe and so of course I thought she was getting ready, maybe running a little late, and I asked her if that was so..and she replied that she was otherwise detained at the moment and would I please come back.
I said, "Hey babe, don't you remember, we have plans to do the opera and then dinner and dancing?" I was standing there waiting for her to answer when she looks over her shoulder back into her apartment and says to me, "Well honey...I, uh...I...I just forgot all about that, honey dont be mad at me, c'mon baby."
And just as I was about to forgive this fine fox with her big pouty lips, I hear a womyns' voice from her apartment asking 'where you be baby, come on back inside and get it good'
I just stared at her..my mouth hanging down in disbelief, thinking how could she do me this way. Damn bitch.
"I uh...have made a mistake here..you take care," I said as I walked back down the stairs to the limo. I took one more look at her shaking my head when I heard her say, " Baby, its not what you think, baby, come back..I'll get rid of her, you wait babe, OK? OK baby?"
But I kept going and then I remember telling the driver to take me to Wild Side West, and I remember going in there, but I don't remember going home. I must have drank all night long and then slept way too late and seeing as how I had already been on probation for this gig, showing up late was more than they could handle..so I got the boot.
Now, Maisha and I had been going around together for about 2 years and I thought that she and I had a good thing going on, I guess I was wrong. Big time. She was a lot of fun and I knew I would miss her, I just didn't want it to be now...sheesh, my birthday was 2 weeks away and before that it would be Valentine's Day...Damn, I had so many plans, just wanting to make my baby happy. I guess I failed big time on that score.
I drove to the union office and gave them my release papers from the Hotel and checked the boards for another high paying gig. There were a couple of prospects and I took down their numbers to call when I got home.
The day was cloudless and brisk and instead of hailing a cab I walked home. It felt like the longest walk of my life. Inside of me I ached with an aloneness that knew no bounds. I though I would call her, but then decided it hurt too much to forgive.
Once home I called the numbers and landed a maybe at an Italian joint in the inner Sunset. The proprietor asked me if I could come by on Monday as they were closed on Sundays. I said OK, relieved that I had a few days to stretch before hammering away again.
I went in a ran a bath and soaked for an hour until the water turned cold and I felt the numbness of opaque...I was like a piece of crystal that had fallen from some shelf...my edges still held color but I was apart.
As I was dressing I thought I would go check out the local scene. I put on my harness and an average phallus and tucked it into my 501s and then an old denim shirt and a black leather vest.
I hailed a cab down the block at Sacramento and Larkin and headed towards the Castro. At Noe I got out and walked down Market Street. I passed many womyn along the way and cruised and often when I turned around I saw that they too had turned to look. Passing Leticias' and looking in the window I saw Patrick by the back pantry, so i opened the door and stepped in to say hello. He was currently folding napkins talking with another waiter.
Patrick and I had the good fortune to meet while working at a restaurant in Sonoma a few years back.
"Hello boys! How the hell are ya?"
They both turned around in an affected manner, with their hands out in front of them waving and jumping up and down saying, "Hi Girl! What brings you uptown? Looking for that honey you call fine? Eh?"
"Uh...Nope, I'm flying solo these days. The girl is gone," I said shaking my head and then blowing air out of my mouth thru closed teeth.
"Why babygirl? What happened? Patrick said as he put his arm around me and drew me in close to him. And then in a stronger firm voice, he added," That bitch, I dont care what she did. I never liked her, she wasn't good enough for you honey."
"Thanks Pat, I needed that. Dont worry Im cool," I said as I leaned back against the wall and reached for a slice of French bread on the table.
"Ahem, I see you are packing 'Big Daddy' tonight, are you going out chasing skirt?", said Gary the other waiter there.
"Get out of my crotch Queen," I said laughing. They all joined in, even Roul the busboy laughed at that one.
I gave them all hugs and left and cruised up to 18th. I got a slice of pizza from Marcellos' and read the notices on the adjoining wall. Then I turned around and leaned up against the wall with the other boys, draped and waiting.
It was 5:30 and the sun was just setting. A fine veil of silver lit the skyline creating a lambent softness. I started to walk down Castro when a womyn maybe asking for directions stopped me by tugging on my arm, "Excuse me, Sir"
I whipped around to let her see I wasn't a guy and she blushed. I could see it even in the dimness and sensed her uncomfortability.
I said, "Hey, its cool, it happens. How can I help you?"
She took a deep breath and then said, "Wow, you are not gonna believe this and, uh...yea, um, I have, I have to..um...ask you a favor please?"
It took her forever to get to that part, I wondered if we were going to be here all night with the favor part. I started to reach into my pocket to maybe help her with money, but she didnt look like the typical panhandler.
She was about 5ft 6" with long straight brown hair. She was slender and dressed kind of yuppyish, complete with penny loafers and a strap over the shoulder purse.
" Sure, what's up?" I asked her waiting for the longest night in history.
" Cool. OK, here goes. I am a student at USF and Im doing a paper on alternative lifestyles and I was wondering if we could just sit and talk for a bit, I mean, O wow, Im sorry..let me start over, ok, are you gay? I mean, are you a lesbian?"
"Yea, I'm a lesbian...and to save you some trouble I will tell you now that I have always been a lesbian, from as far back as I know. I have had sex with guys, no it didn't do much for me. Yes I have a healthy relationship with my parents and siblings. Im out to the world. I support pro choice and gay parenting, Im a democrat and um, lets see...o yea, I prefer to be called a Dyke and I'm what you might call Butch"
She was writingng everything down, stopping every now and then to look at me. The last part of my statement made her a little fidgety and I had to laugh silently, that wasn't my intention.
When she was thru writing she looked up at me and asked me if I would like to get a cup of coffee, to which I replied, " How about we get a drink?"
"A drink, like from in a bar..like a gay bar?" she asked with her voice cracking slightly.
"Yea, a bar, come one...you should see what they look like. Its predominantly male in this neighborhood, although a lot of the bars are very supportive of womyn. After all we are one big community."
"OK, sure...1 drink is fine. My name is Jennifer, thank you for doing this with me, I really appreciate it," she said and smiled.
"Hi Jennifer, my name is Cary, its a pleasure to meet you," I said and then grabbed her elbow and walked with her to the nearest club.
For a Saturday evening, the place was barely filled which gave us an opportunity to get some drinks and a table in the rear. I gave Danny, the bartender a 50 dollar bill and told him to keep it flowing for a bit, I wanted a buzz.
Jennifer and I sat talking about my being a lesbian for an hour when I asked her if she ever had feelings for a womyn, and I think even then in such a dark place she blushed and hesitated before she spoke. " I, uh...yea probably, I mean you know sometimes when you see a pretty girl there is a slight attraction that happens. I just have, um...never acted on it"
I asked her if she had a boyfriend and she said not at the moment. I smiled and motioned for Pete the waiter to bring us another. She had protested when the 2nd drink came, but not the 3rd. She was loosening up with me and I was beginning to have a nice time with this womyn doing a paper.
Just as Pete brought our next round I saw Maisha come into the bar with some short dyke with bleached blond hair. I quickly turned to Jennifer and said, "Hey Jen, I have the biggest favor to ask of you. If you say no, i will understand. I need you to let me put my arm around you and make like you and I are a couple"
"Uh, how come" she asked wide eyed.
"There is no time to explain," I said as i got up and moved my chair closer to hers and pulled her towards me. At first she was stiff in my arms, but as I explained in a muffled voice, she relaxed. I saw Maisha walking towards us out of the corner of my eye and I guess Jennifer did too, because she turned to face me and kissed me rather passionately on my lips.
I kissed her back, after I got over my initial shock. I felt Maisha's presence and I pulled away and looked up at her and smiled.
"Yo, whose the bitch? You sure didn't waste any time baby"
I stood up and said, ": Hey don't you be calling her names like that..its not called for. Why don't you just head on with your little chickie." I waited for her to walk away before I sat down again.
"Im sorry about that. I didn't know she would actually address us. I didn't mean to put you in the middle.'
"Hey, don't worry about it. And look at it this way, now I can say what it feels like to kiss a cute dyke," and she smiled really big and kissed me again, this time softer and playful.
Pete started to bring us another round and I told him to hold up, that he should split the remainder with Danny. He smiled and said thank you. Then I asked Jennifer if she wanted to take a walk. She said yea, but she wanted to walk to her favorite place. I asked her where that was and she to follow her.
I did.
She lived in upper Haight on Belvedere. A great little flat which her parents paid for while she was going to school. It had all the charm and elegance of any Victorian in the city. The wainscoting and wall paper were perfect. The turrets on each corner added to the majestic skyline.
She and I both had a bit of a buzz going and I didn't want to take advantage of that, so I asked her very clearly if she knew where this was going and she said. "O yes...and I want to be...exactly where I am," and then she smiled and went into her bathroom.
I turned the stereo on and tuned in the local jazz station. When she came out of the bathroom she was wearing only her shirt and a big smile. She walked right over to me and took my vest off. Then she unbuttoned my shirt, pulling it out of my jeans. When she started to unbutton my jeans, I put a hand to her wrist and stopped her and said, "Baby?"
She lifted her face up, still smiling so beautifully and said, "Yes?"
"There is something you should know...I" and she stopped me before I could finish and kissed me again. This time her tongue flew into my mouth and wrestled with mine. I put my arms around her back and pulled her close to me, The perfume she wore danced around me, drawing me into her. Her lips were creamy soft and I ran my tongue over them and then across her teeth. I bit her lower lip and once again I felt as her hands slowly unbutton my pants. I forgot that I hadnt put any shorts on, so when she undid that last button, I sprang to life.
At first she was startled and then she laughed and at first I thought she was laughing at me and I started to pull back when she pulled me to her again and looked up and asked me, "Baby, You want me to take you?", then she kissed me harder, her hands in my hair mashing my face up against hers. Then slowly she inched down my body until she knelt before me. I watched her and then took my shirt off. I wanted a perfect view.
She then took hold of toy with both of her hands and lightly stroked it, then licked it, up one side..then down the other. She did this a few times, each moment I felt myself growing harder under the harness. My clit now touching the back of the leather. Then she rimmed the head of the dick with her tongue and slowly eased the head in between her perfect lips, then a little more disappeared into her. I watched with increasing intensity as she bobbed up and down on the dildo. I started to feel waves building inside of me, but I wanted to wait, so I stopped her. She looked at me with a hurt look in her eyes and asked me why I was stopping.
"Baby, wait...I want you to feel too...come here with me," I said in breathy tones, pulling her up and leading her to her bed. I took her shirt from her and was pleasantly surprised to see how beautiful she was. Her collar bone stood out from its cage and her breasts were small and firm. She had a trail of curly hairs than ran from her belly button to her mons which was tangled mass of silken curls. I noticed that she was glistening in the candle lit room.
I kissed her softly, while my hands caressed her smooth flesh. I kissed her nose and her cheeks, then her neck and her chest, rounding each breast and sucking them into my mouth. She moaned and purred with each kiss, each lick. I inched my way down her belly, trailing soft wet kisses. She moaned louder. Then I came to greatness. Slowly I parted her exquisite pink folds with my eager tongue. O, She tasted like heaven, clean and fresh and wet...soooo wet. She let out a cry when my tongue flicked the tip of her clit, and then moaned over and over as my tongue flicked soft across the tip.
Soon, she started begging for me to take her. I lay with my knees between her legs and took some wet from her precious and lubed the head of the dildo. She pulled herself open for me and I slid into perfection. She moved her hips into me, meeting my long slow thrusts until she started bucking harder and faster into me. I moved deeper into her, faster, harder. I think I was calling her name as I felt her tense. My own body jerking wild as I drove hard into her. She said she wanted me, and I continued to fuck her with the toy, but also put my fingers in alongside. She cried it was too tight and then quickly I removed the dildo and forced my fingers deeply into her hot wet throbbing cunt.
Our breaths were rapid, we were on fire and now O. My, she was touching me, her fingers were sliding into me. "Baby, O. MY Baby, you are so wet," she cried as she bore down on my fingers. Spasming both of us fucked each other, our thrusts becoming slower and deeper until we both cried out, "O. YEA !!!!!"
I suddenly grabbed a hold of her and held her to me as I continued to shake. Her own body was trembling, she was saying she never felt so good, that she never had it like that. She laughed.
I smiled and told her I didn't think she should put this in the report. She laughed. It was like honey that dripped and slowly oozed into my life. She then asked me if I thought she was any good to which I smiled and said, "Baby, you are the best"
She then asked what I was doing on Valentine's Day and I laughed and said her. She smiled even bigger, then nestled up in my arms until sleep took us dreaming of futures bright with lust and who knows...maybe love.