The Best Erotic Stories.

Swinger's New Ad Pt. III
by Sparky Kronkite
İ

Marcy and Paul here again - we told you that we we're going to update our ad yet again and as promised - here it is.

We decided to do this once again because we continued to feel that we weren't getting enough action (hey, we're very horney folks) and besides the last one got a few complaints of being a little to cold. So, we decided to keep the main headline and chance the rest - here it is.

WNTD - Twin, Afro-Am Albino studs for wife's ultimate fantasy DP!!!

Just kidding folks!

HEADLINE: Tom_Jill and tomjill2 rewrite "best ad ever." Now it's the "bestest ad ever."

(Attention: We are rewriting our ad to provide the most specific and succinct information on who we are and what we want. Sorry it's a bit long, please attempt to enjoy. Please read thoroughly and carefully.)

Just Kidding!!! But if you're out there.....please, get in touch.

Seriously -

We are a mid-Atlantic, East coast, southernish couple now in NYC. Adult fun here is not quite like we knew back home. There we belonged to a large adult club, hot tub, 30 couples, dance floor/DJ, etc., but the drive back is getting to us. So, we're looking (and futilely for some time) for the right folks to hook up with in or around Manhattan.

We're youngish (but not too young) mid-30's professionals, who need to be very, very discreet. Were looking for the same - go figure. We could be described as light skinned Irish/all-American type folks, tall and very attractive, who steer toward the sameish type but we're open to all who we feel on relative par with. Looks - (she "must have" the stud-like male or it's no go, that's part of the deal, not huge muscles, just good looking) and of course, personality are important.

So - in a nutshell - all you guys out there that are too thin, not even remotely physically fit, balding, be-wigged, too bushy bearded, too old, too young, beer-bellied, droopy assed, short, chain smoking, just wanna fuck and go, think you can get an easy piece of ass this way type of dudes and just do this to get your jollies whackin' off in the sink and hope to get lucky - well think again. We don't care if your the owner of a monster dick, your tongue is the 9th wonder of the world and your lady - if you have one - looks like Marilyn Monroe and has orgasms riding the city bus - you won't have a chance with my very selective wife. We're not being elitist here, it's simply the concept of the connoisseur over gluttony. Would you ride a bad roller coaster? Eat a lousy steak? Sorry but that's just the way it is.

Also of note to all you couples out there: We have a very sophisticated and very expensive sex toy to share, demo and have fun with - a "Sybian Saddle" (run a net search under that brand name for info - ladies it's the ultimate, no kidding!). We can set this up as a straight demo type of thing, doesn't have to be any "real sex." We'd just get a kick out of turning some women/couples on to it. It'll blow you mind! Guaranteed!

But hey, sorry folks, we're not into anything too unusual, no whips, no pain, no humiliation, (although we could be interested in the voyeuristic aspects of these scenes if not too harsh) - we're just into good looking naked bodies, fun people, into sharing each other in a safe and very sexually hot and very private way. Safe too (we'll mention again) - let's not forget.

As you can tell we're primarily looking for couples but as indicated above, very very selective - good looking males, and this is important too - who are not encumbered by a partner who doesn't partake (no errant/immoral wanderers) may be considered for a threesome. Single unattached women are welcome too. We don't want to cause any relationship problems - have some gun toting momma/daddy-O showing up at our door, spittin' verbal venom and firing rounds into the walls or who knows what else? It'll wake the neighbors. Not cool.

So, maybe it's you, maybe you are the one or two or three. More? Please, let us know. Hope to hear from you. Real folks only please.

PS - We're tired of all the "cute" handles from the "over abundance of single guys" we get responding to this profile. Stud4U, BiGnuts, LicU4evr, 8inU - you know, crap like that. We respect our extracurricular, off the beaten (straight laced) path choices in our "erotic fun" but we also take the philosophy of this decision and lifestyle fairly seriously. It's really hard for intelligent people (like us, brag) - (At least I hope we are?) to get into the juvenile frivolity it takes to create a handle like that. Some of you guys are selling yourselves short with handles like that. Please be real with us and we'll be real with you.

We do have a clean unaltered pic, and will send it if you first send us an honest, intelligent written response, then you could send a pic if you so choose. Only then will we respond with a clean pic. No foolin'. Preliminary meeting will of course be a must if all goes well in the world of the net.

Hope to hear from you. Erotic Adventurers are we all. Or you should be.

PS2 - Sorry about any misspelling.

PS3 - We don't purport to be any PC/internet/computer whizzes either so have mercy on us.

A smart, working, professional (couple, single or group) with a lot on the ball, in business and in their social life - (this of course to help to insure stability, credibility and discretion) - reasonable attractiveness is a must, as is a cool, calm and non-pushy, non-obsessive bedroom demeanor. We drink wine and beer, don't smoke, love live music and night life in general. Of course, we'd get along with the same, but we're very open minded. Of course experience in these matters, ultra-good looking and well equipped (men in particular) couples and groups are what we'd be most interested in. My wife loves stud muffin men. That's it -

Well, this ad really got some hot action and the next few stories will be all the juicy details regarding our adventures.

Later, Marcy and Paul

 

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