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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Same formulaic garbage

Paragraph 1: Main character introduces self by full name. Describe their race/religion in too much detail
Fuck man, everything you write is exactly the same.

Steeves

Steeves Volmor-Cherenfant, your mother was very upset when I told her about your writing these awful stories again. Not as upset as when you were writing incest stories about your little cousins, but almost as upset. You need to find a new hobby.

Really Great

Love everybody being involved. It ups the humiliation factor. Five stars.

More??

Ok it's been 4 months since they picked out the sectional. When will we finishing decorating the house and trying out each room in the new house???

Nicely done

I am glad that at the beginning for this chapter you had her decide that she needs to leave her boyfriend. That is an important step in her being able to offer herself properly to her sir. 4 stars.

I finally add "Onemoreguy1" to my Favorite Authors on this site!

This may not exactly be a "story". Perhaps it is more a very detailed description. Whatever it is, it holds the reader's interest.

Shame

you have such a problem with spelling!

great work

really like the ambience

Cecil B Demille meets Oprah Winfry

A cast of thousands plus a you get some bdsm and you get some bdsm and everybody gets some bdsm! Everyone Ginny has known, and everyone she meets, is now lined up to use her? Consider adding cuckold to your tags as I cannot see how the marriage can be sustained on the path you've esrablished.

I was going to give a detailed comment, but it all boiled down to the word 'too.' The story of one woman's desire to experience a particular fantasy is being aggressively drowned in a sea of too much everything. Bonus wtf points for doubling down on the incest. Not sure if your parents putting hands to you still qualifies as implied incest.

Welcome and thank you for your first story. It is a solid, sexy piece. I would just slowing down your action and giving more descriptions of everyone's reactions as things happen. That's important for pulling the reader in, and keeps the scene from becoming just a list of things done.
Try to find someone to beta read for you. It's difficult to catch all of your own mistakes. At one point you have him 'searching' for his cock. I hope you meant to write 'reaching.' If he's having to search for it, that's a different category of story.

No thanks

Great writing. I did not realize this was going to be a 50 shades story though. Silly me. I'm done

Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly

Very nicely done, Pastel. I like your pacing. I like Ezra's pov. I feel what is happening to him. The balance you've created for Elliott is powerful, just continue to be very careful and aware of how you portray him. Right now he is aloof and human, mysterious and simple, presumptuous and caring. It works because there is balance. I want to be angry at him but can't sustain it.

Don't bother...

This story remains unfinished. As the author hasn't made an appearance in over a year, it likely never will be. Shame really, it was quite good.

Amazing!!!!!

Please please PLEASE keep going I'm addicted

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