Where can I read the rest?
Great description, really filling out the story. x
You suck. Nice story until the last paragraph. You fucked it up you fucking inbred mongloid fucktard. One star for this piece of shit.
Your work is entertaining. I look for future efforts. Take at least one more proofread ing attempt to catch misspelling and other typos. It interrupts your delightful rhythm when I have to stop and guess what a word is supposed to be. Your characters are very human. I for one want to try a story where people are not sexual super performer, overweight, middle class with every day concerns.
tale that gets me to laugh this much gets 5 - hands down!
I wish I had been able to read this before the author was named, I know I would have guess it was patentlee.
Her writing has a style and flow that draws you in and get you to reading something even when it's not to your taste. (although more than a bit of this was)
Critique: You know I have to, lovely. If I didn't it would bug me.
Your use of the words was smooth and helped to set the story tone. They were not tacked on to the story, but a part of it. Very good. there is a typos and for you that almost seems like something you would do to throw off guessers more than a mistake. I could be wrong something could have slipped by you but ...
I do think this one would work with a bit longer lead in to him having his first MMF with serious gay overtones. Maybe even a first time together with her old friend then more male on male for the next.
Enjoyed it greatly. Hope you take this one and run with it to a full-length novel. It could easily become that. Great job.
Having just finished The Martian I think I'd rather be on this planet with Cassie!
Good space yarn, a little bit of Ray Bradbury crossed with Sigourney Weaver crossed with Doctor Who. Unpretentious, and fun.
And the anon who didn't like the close shaved heads - that's ok, they can queue up in front of my sleeping pod, any time!
A pretty abrupt continuation, it doesn't make all that much sense, but fits the author's name, so not a surprise.
A shame, when I saw it was an alternate continuation of JPB's story I was hoping that he would end up with one of, or perhaps both of the twins, but that's just me being a pervert I guess :-), at the very least he didn't end up with Audrey, that ending really bugged me in JBL's version.
Short and sexy!
like to add my 5 stars to a masterpiece
A really good ending makes the whole story. Good job, SA Penn Lady.
The author who wrote this story is Gorza. Well done! Thanks for FAWCking!
The author who wrote this story is Tx Tall Tales. Thanks for FAWCking!
The author who wrote this story is MSTarot. Thanks for FAWCking!
The author who wrote this story is NaokoSmith. Thanks for FAWCking!
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