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Latest 15 Reader Comments

great read

very exciting start to another of your stories. I anxiously look forward to the rest

THRILLING!

Great and intriguing..
I would love to read some more..

More!

You have to make another chapter!

HOT!

Whew! It's left me panting..

Loved it

Absolutely loved the story. I couldn't put it down!

It really would have been nice if you had finished the story instead of just dropping your readers off a cliff. Because it is an unfinished story I could only give you 1-STAR. Retired Army NCO

fun

some of my thoughts as I read the story.


""Succubi are supposedly one of the most dangerous daemons men of our age can summon. We're too easily distracted," Brennan said." - Nice complement

""Succubi are crap daemons," a short man with spiky hair and a fierce face covered in piercings said." - I can't wait to see what happens to this kid.

""They can't fight. Their magic isn't very powerful. I can't see why anyone would bother summoning them."" - Oh please don't stop, it will make your death so much sweeter!

"Phil shut his eyes, waited for bad things to happen. He was surprised when they didn't." - aw, but I wanted bad things to happen!

"Brennan shared a glance with Higgins. "I can," he said." - cool you gave her two complements now.

"Brennan shrugged. "They were stupid and didn't know what they were doing."" - well at least one of them isn't.

""Obedience training," Brennan said. "I have a little surprise for everyone."" - I may have spoke too soon.

""We don't need to. Not anymore. Technology marches on, old man." Brennan stood up and left his row to walk up to the lectern. "If you'll allow me," he said." - woah seems pretty confident.

""Mr Rowling, could I borrow your succubus for a moment?"" - Oh hell yes! Nyte is gonna fuck you to death in front of the whole class!

""Clever boy. Countless warlocks have discovered to their cost that a succubus never hurts her prey."" - well she returned a complement.

"That large load of cum you ejaculated into my pussy—very tasty, by the way, thanks—should have established a good connection. I think we'll start with a gentle little energy drain." - She complemented him twice now. And she has treated him pretty nice so far. I bet if he talked to her like joey it would have been different.

""There's something I should have told you," she whispered. "I'm a dreadful masochist. I adore pain."" - getting scared yet brennan?

""Mmm, slurp slurp," she whispered in his ear." - Oh Nyte is so cute playing with her prey!

And thats pretty much it.
I love this story! Nyte is the best! I could read nyte playing with students all day!

good one

"I'm going to kill them, Doug Barker thought. He gripped the handle of the baseball bat tighter as he stomped down the road. I'm going to take this bat and ram it right where the sun doesn't shine, he thought. How dare they do that to his pride and joy. How dare they!" - Woah crazy angry guy acting irrationally!

"He'd taken them to one side and politely, but firmly, told them to stay the fuck away from his daughters." - can't imagine he was very polite with his crazy anger.

"they'd carved 'TRICKED' in ugly large scratches that stretched almost the full length of the car." - lol so his car is his pride and joy? and instead of calling police he is gonna run after them with a bat! seems like a risky move.

"He needed to laugh at them. His blood was running seriously hot at the moment. He was steamed at what they'd done to his car, but he needed to temper that rage." - oh do i detect a hint of rational thinking?

"He stomped into the candlelit room." - guess not

"Doug saw her face and immediately responded by swinging his bat at her head as if he was A-Rod trying to blast a home run out of the Yankee's stadium." - Wow. So instead of trying to reason with her when she has shown no physical aggresion, he decides to do this. Super stupid. also leaves Nyte with a great first impression.

"Doug felt a clawed hand close around his throat. He was lifted bodily off the floor and swung around as if his two hundred pounds were nothing more than a rag to her. She slammed him down on the stone sarcophagus in the centre of the room with enough force to blast the air from his lungs." - Nytes response to the bat.

"He'd got his breath back. A sudden twist, maybe he could take her by surprise. He bunched his muscles." - Hey why not lol

"Chains erupted from beneath the stone sarcophagus and whipped around his wrists and ankles." - lands him in chains.

""Go to hell!" he wheezed at her." - The first thing he even says yet. Nyte has no reason to see him as anything but a piece of shit at this point.

"She slashed across Doug's chest with a sudden sweep of her long black nails." - Nytes response to his insult.

""Fuck you!" Doug spat at her." - Second thing he says to Nyte.

""If you want," she said." - its what he asked for.


I think its amazing this guy lived this long. I feel sorry for Nyte personally. Anytime she goes anywhere people assume the worst of her. Never even try to understand her. They just to use her as a tool or try to fight with her.

great story! happy ending.

not understanding the sympathy...

"He'd dismissed them as the rabid frothing of people too lazy to move their fat asses out from behind their keyboards and do something constructive with their lives." - assumes everyone who is less fortunate are lazy.

"The police would baton-charge this scum back into the slime where they belonged." - Nice

"He was one of the elite, the one percent. This skank with big hooters was in no way his equal." - disrespectful attitude toward those not gifted with status.

"This couldn't be happening. Not to him. He was someone. He was important. He earned seven figures a year." - still thinks his money makes him better.

Anonymous says he isn't pious? Personally I liked seeing this dicks world getting rocked by a succubus. I call this a happy ending.

MORE!!!

VERY GOOD STORY,AS FAR AS IT GOES! Please continue on, and don't leave other readers, and myself, hanging!

GRIN

;)

Mission accomplished! Thanks for your comments on The Unrequited. It was a blast to write. The ending is supposed to be a bit of a mindfuck. I liked leaving it a little ambiguous.

Whaaaaaaaaat

I have read each installment of this story you've put out . And I have loved them all even this one . How ever I have to say the end was a complete and total mind fuck unless there may be a sequel in the works . I mean she's calling him honey cheeks just like the character Justine did ; so is she still possessed? Was she just screwing with him ? As you can see the questions are already eating at me lol .

Whoa, that was an abrupt ending... but after that long journey, I think it suits well.

Surprised at the rave reviews...

Same editing/proofreading mistakes, on similar words no less, and same theme with villain being a succubus yet again (hell, you even had her body switch lol. while it's slightly different than what happened in the story with Kara and her mom, this isn't that far off). Basically repetitive, both on editing mistakes and plot take this story down a peg or 2. There's differences sure but not impressed. You also completely changed Lucifer's personality comparatively, if he had been anything like this in the other story then Kara probably would've been his wife. You've basically made him into a Darian remake just without the biting, very similar personalities. All said and done, just not impressed sorry.

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