I've spoken elsewhere about how hard it was to choose, and why I ultimately voted for your Exhibition instead. But there are parts of this one that I simply love: the second stanza and the following two lines are superb. The last five lines are as erotic as any poem I've ever read. "trampstamp" didn't do it for me, a minor quibble that dates me more than anything else, probably.
And I wonder, did you intend the washout/wash out pun?
At any rate, why quibble? It's superb I wish I'd written something even close it.
Thank you :-)
Dirty girl, I love it!
Why is it always "blonde beach babes?" Brunet's are just as awesome, if not more awesome!!
This got my vote in the "Anything But Spring" Challenge on PF&D. At first I thought "I have chopped desire on the ax of reason" was a fly in the ointment. Axes chop; they're not chopped on, but by the conclusion of the poem, I thought the convolution was ingenious.
The theme was fun, and the rhythm was easy for me to find even on the first read through. Nicely done. :-)
Interesting. I would have ended it after "You shed the skin I tame" because that's the best line I've read today, made even better following on the heels of "You smile with all my joy."
I don't think "You...Are...Me." was necessary since it was implied by the title of the poem, and it felt a bit anti-climactic after the dramatic affect of that killer line "You shed the skin I tame."
Enjoyable read, Darksymmetry. Thanks for posting it.
My corpulent ass thinks this reeks of awesome, and I am greatly enamored of it.
even if the aesthetics is quite pedestrian ........
By the way you don't use "big or ostentatious words", actually I think you always chose the perfect words!
And very poignant. Most excellent.
An evocative, emotionally vivid poem.
Something about this piece was bugging me for a while and I couldn't nail it down, I think you may have found it, thank you for the input!!
Delicious., I do have a slight quibble with the use of
Laws of unintended consequences at work.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.