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Delicious Tale

All of MGM's work seem light and enjoyable. His characters are all types.

Poor Suzie

I really feel for her. She must spend a fortune on lost clothing.

Loved it

Loved it. Keep it up! Didn’t mind the drug aspect one bit.

Very hot

Love a good hj story. Sounds like she regrets not joining in just a little.

So well written

These have been written so well I love how you got all my favorite characters to appear in one linked section.

I just need more Meg and Jess please 😀

A wonderful slow burn

You're truly distinguishing yourself in this little subgenre. You describe the humiliating descent from reluctance to acceptance so well. It's my favorite aspect of the mailgirl stories, the fall from grace, the point at which they become complicit in their bondage, and you never fail to nail that slide into submissive depravity.

Your talent for dialogue and carefully introducing backstory to the story makes the slow burn of the story worth it. It took me all morning and afternoon (on and off) to read it, but I found every page to be riveting as it explored the subject and protagonist.

And the camaraderie with the girls is also an area that sets your stories apart. The way they develop friendships, rivalries, and create natural bonding interactions out of their shared circumstances is so realistic. These are three dimensional characters and it only makes diving into their fears and excitement so rewarding.

I strangely find myself looking forward most to characters that balk at the audacity of the mailgirl program. The ones that are utterly indignant at the prospect of their company stooping so low, like Kristen and Debbie and her oh-so-true "Right and wrong!" rebuttals.

I love these kind of character interactions. The angry outbursts are needed to ground the story and contrast them with the women that don't have such reactions. It makes it even more humiliating and keeps the stories from feeling too...easy.

Especially in light of the #meetoo conversation.

I also love the connected world you have going on. I like reading the callbacks to previous stories of yours, and getting to know how characters previously mentioned came to be, such as Meredith and Amanda in this exploration. I hope I get to see Abby, or should I say Park Place Six again. She's my fav. A return to Park Place in general, with their 24/7 servitude, squat toilets, and lesbian dormitories would also be most welcomed from this fan.

And more Bitch Sessions!

Respect for referencing the other mailgirl stories out there, too. It makes reading and going back to all of the stories more fun.

Any critiques I have about this, or really the four mailgirl stories I've read of yours are not really criticisms per se, just things I'd like to see explored that I may just have to write about in my own stories. Mainly, more diverse body types and women of color, for different flavoring more than anything else.

I got excited for a bit when Vickie was described, briefly imagining her short chubby ass running through her old floor, red in shame from her large boobs bouncing every which way, to regret because I let my desire to see her reduced to the ranks of mailgirl inflate beyond what was reasonable. I know Will Barrow sets his eyes on a certain kind of prey, tall, 20s-30s, model-esque women, which was again emphasized in this story where all of the women are described as fashion models with near identical body proportions. So I shouldn't have let myself get excited for something I knew wouldn't make sense in your universe, at least at USF.

Felt a similar feeling of slight disappointment when the Korean woman, Five, and her backstory wasn't explored as much as I had hoped.

But again, that's a personal taste of mine, and the trappings of my wider desires, and not really a fair criticism of your writing. You are doing an amazing job of fleshing out your world and I'm grateful for each girl you write about feeling so unique and fully realized. I'll be here to read whatever gets your creative juices flowing.

Do you ever plan to write a story about a mailgirl that successfully completes the full two years and actually gets that dream job that they dangle in front of them as incentive? And what it would be like, as a former mailgirl, trying to be taken seriously in the same company that spent two years looking down on her as nothing but tits and ass? I imagine the difficulty would be interesting to read, as would be the pull to her former life that would almost assuredly be there. And I know you'd nail the confusing, complicated thoughts and feelings that would interplay.

Oh and are there any plans to return to Park Place One and Two? This exchange from Mailgirls Get Off:

------

"They haven't...?" Eighteen began to ask, but trailed off.

Seven cringed a little, but nodded reluctantly.

----

Caught me by surprise when I first read it. It can easily work as a "use your imagination" type of suggestion, but it was so unexpected that I kind of had trouble connecting the lines that could have led there between them. And I guess I'm kind of dying to see what the sisters even feel about it, how it's justified, and if their mother, visiting them in the nude and all, knows.

Either way, I can't wait to read more of what you do end up cooking up for us.

5/5

Good start to your writing

The moralizing at the end - him having to leave a marriage where he cheated by blaming his wife - was out of place. Other than that, it was a good start.

Good beginnings

Hooked on your writing ever since I read "Girl Power".

PLEASE CONTINUE!!!

Mr. Burr,

I am anxiously awaiting an update to this chapter!

Are you working on it?

Great Story

5 stars from me!

In my opinion, your best story so far. I hope you'll ad a lot more chapters!

I guess it's Amy's turn to check on Allison at the next chapter, but i can't wait for Hanna's.
I think it could be intresting if Hannah forced Alison to more degrading acts, for her viewing(and not only) pleasure, in order to confirm to Chloe that Allison sticked to her rules.

Even better, if she didn't confirm to Chloe, even after Allison had fulfilled both Chloes and Hannas requests, earning for her an aditional punishment!

Great! Really enjoy the set up and the story. I hope Rebecca gets used hard by a some stranger, and then Brad. And Brad maybe can get the use of a stranger as well, after all, what else would the point of the alternative universe be?

Great intro to the story. You set up the environment for the story while making it exciting and mysterious. Nice touch about meeting someone from the company in the sauna. Can't wait for chapter two.

Good story.

Good story, but left me wanting a lot more, like some of your older lengthier stories.

What the f*ck?

You had the wife leave her husband and run him out of town so she could raise her daughter as a proud strong woman and then you have the mother treat her just the same as her husband did? The ones whos behavior she found so abhorrent she had him drudged and blackmailed? Ever hear of something called consistency?

Good Story But Needs An Edit...

In several parts it's difficult to know who's speaking to who, but with a few edits this could be a great story. It's a sexy idea. Keep developing it.

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