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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Chinese Takeout 4

All of the things the others said.
Plus...
Switching voices from character to character is very difficult to do, but you are doing it so very well.
Your writing style is changing/growing from Chapter 1 'til now: descriptions are richer, actions are so easy to picture...and the plot thickens....
Now, sadly, I have to wait for the next installment.

Your one lucky son of a gun

I had a school teacher whos name is Catrina Dallman who was my middle school teacher for 7th grade.At that time i was 15 but no virgin having been fuck a whore my uncle paid for me.But that thing is this teacher of mine was hot as hell she was shorter then me who i really liked but i was never able to fuck because of course she never felt about me the same way and i was 15.I still keep in contact with her trough messenger and you could say she is one fine milf she now lives in Texas one day hopefully i will fuck her i am now 18 and shes like 28 or 30s something.

Even best writers need editors & proofreaders

Outstanding first effort! A bit of editing needed, but a proofreader is essential. Like all good writers, when you really get into the story the homophone error rate climbs sky high: there/their/they're; your/you're; for/four; etc. Almost no one can proof themselves - we all see what we know should be there, rather than what is actually printed there. You get a "five" from me for the story, now make use of the many fine volunteer editors and proofreaders on this site, and they'll have to add a sixth star or a "+" option!

great beginning

Honesty

Your story is not extremely wild or unbelievable. I enjoy reading honest stories. Thank you.

I can't say enough

I really can't say enough about your stories. I've been a voracious reader all my life. You keep me hoping that there will be just one more page to read, and when I get to the end, I can't wait for the next installment! Even without the sex, your story is wonderful. It's like you reached into my brain and figured out the girl who would be the most attractive to me. Thank you for sharing your hard work with us. You're wonderful.
Steve

Congratulations to Sammael Bard

"Harp Un-strung" was a beautifully written story, you have to write more....

Congratulations ...... Chloe

I think that's one of the best BJ scenes I've ever enjoyed.

Chloe, where to begin with the comments? This is just so enjoyable to read. Love the detail, love the way you're developing Jay-Lin and Keith's characters, as well as the others making appearances. Quebec. Olaf. Ginny. The Chua bitch. Just beautiful. Keith's Loft - I can picture it in my mind. Those photos on your Pinterest Board help as well. The sex!!! I think that's one of the best BJ scenes I've ever enjoyed and what a lead in. Mind-blowing. Loved this chapter and now I can't wait for the next chapter. This doesn't usually happen to me but I'm hooked on this story. Speaking for myself, and having read your comments here and there about self-publishing, when you get round to getting a book published, I'll be there buying it.

Giving this five stars and wishing I could give it six, Or ten. Well done.

Progressing nicely

Chloe, you are painting a delightful story. The word pictures and the excitement and emotions of a young woman feeling swept off her feet has been superb.
Lue

Thank you

You give the other weird kids like me some hope ;) well, my school time is over and no school beauty did that with me, but anyway... you never know. And I am so thankful that for once, they can stay together for some time!

need chap 2,, great story

Author Update 5/27/16

Greetings,

I just submitted a revised version of Chapter 1. It should post within the next several days. You will know when the newer version is displayed because it will say "originally posted 5/12/16" at the top of it.

I will also submit the next chapter, "Friends" Ch. 02: Truth or Dare, tomorrow. If all goes well it should be online within the next several days.

Thank you for reading my story!
SylentWriter

Not to geeky after all

He may be a bit geeky at first, but Carl came through (get it?!). Loved the hair on Carl's chest -- an added sexy touch! Carry on!

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