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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Sammy, a quiet word in your lughole.

It would profit everyone if you would go back to that which you do best - Wanking those dead dogs behind your garden shed!

Hey

One thing: mulatto is a very outdated, racist term. People nowadays say: "mixed race". No mixed race person would refer to themselves as mulatto. Otherwise, nice job, but you shouldn't get so defensive about criticism. As a fellow writer, I can tell you that it only makes you better to listen with an open mind. the story may be good but since none of us are perfect, there's always room for improvement. Best of luck.

Once again very good work now she must be pimped to bbc into total submission

Brilliant work

I love your use of language, especially on the first page of this chapter, where Eddie tries to photograph Amanda. After this stage the story seems to speed up - i delibrately slowed down, reading each sentence carefully, so that i could prolong the experience if reading this story.

I would love to read more chapters about Amanda and Eddie. I have listed some feedback which might help you in future chapters.
- I found that Eddie does not seem too disturbed at his predicament. He does not seem jealous/ angry / depressed. This, i feel would have added a lot of energy to this story.
- It would be cool if Amanda visits Eddie in his dorm, to balance stuff out. She could dance with his friends.
- i would really love to read a beach scene. Eddie could be photographed by Amanda, while he is standing with Marcus and friends in the nude - a contrast in sizes.
- As some of the other comments suggested, it would be exciting to read about a physical transformation in Amanda - tattoos, haircut, shaving, waxing, piercing, ....

All the best,
Looking forward to more from you,
Jared

loved it !! keep writing more!!

Seriously?

If I didn't like the story, I would have stopped reading it a long time ago. I made a few suggestions and that makes me a bad person? Great writers, have editors.

ladyinwaiting45

This story had me happy from beginning to end. The romance of it was what makes us women sleep really good at night.

cool!

are you going to keep on this series?

Asian men rock

As a great looking white woman who now only dates Asian men, don't pay attention to the haters. I find most of the Asian men I've met to be highly intelligent, polite, well groomed, educated and great cooks. With their coal black sexy eyes, silky thick hair and golden tan, smooth skin, these guys rock in bed, and are talented, imaginative lovers that are still pumping iron well into their 80's when other men are popping Viagra hoping for a miracle.
You men are lions and tigers. Don't let the raging insecurity of European men thwart you from asking a pale princess out for a date and more. We are juicy peaches waiting for your touch-

Why are all the kardasian sluts fucking niggers?

Good story, should have gotten more

Laura is a very disciplined lady. Had it been me I would have done anything for more of Thomas's big cock. I would have also asked him to call a few of his friends so I could give my husband a good visual of our vacation in paradise. Thanks, please go back for more. Annette

Your writing is mighty fine.

Sl2, don't let the petty criticisms get you down. To quote the great composer Sibelius "No one builds monuments to critics!" And then he'd smack the asshole over the head with a heavy beer stein. A fine Finn indeed!

As for the childish delusions of the académiquists to dictate your writing...spellcheck and other word replacing functions are coded by homophone-phobic, illiterate programmers. Frankly & Ernestly I enjoy the intellectual effort of punny errors and comedic word play abusing the language.

As for how you post your stories, is your choice. Myself, I have come to the conclusion that I prefer to take the extra time and post a story in it's entirety. That has become my preference.

I look forward to your future stories and please remember, you have a staunch supporter and defender in your corner.

Sooo good

Love this one! More like this please :)

I concur with LLA&B

this story is interesting, and I will follow it. That being said a good grammer check program and spell check will improve it from a 4 to a 5

So true.....

For a work of fiction, this has an awful lot of truth in it. Ann's first anal/vaginal DP worked out almost exactly the way my first DP did. To this day, that combination of Men's cocks makes me cum like a roman candle....over and over and over. Of course we know that Ann will be back for jacen, that she will become a full-fledged whore for Him. I would too!

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