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Unfortunately the fate of thousands of girls.


A very interesting saga. He got the surprise of his life.

Please continue

So hot. They need more of Lao's power over them. Fascinated by the scene in the club.

Not A Fan Of Non Consential Sex

No matter how you try to argue, this is rape. The next day Judy, back in her REAL mind, goes to police and files charges against Leo for aggravated rape. She files charges against her husband for Facilitating Rape. Then she goes to a Divorce Lawyer and files for divorce from Jim and winds up with house, car, everything. That is what happens in the real world.


How about when they walk out, they just keep walking? In a market full of people leave. And what about the drug? If he used too much, she died. Too little has no effect. And to tell Tom to take his dick out was laughable. This is a guy used to giving orders, not taking them. He would have laughed at Lao. This whole mess was so improbable and so implausible I'm STILL laughing.

Get an editor

Try proof reading your work. Then try again. This mess is unreadable.

What is this? Sci/fi?

Or Robin Hood and his band of rapists? UGH!

I simply makes no sense.

He's blackmailing him. Why not just get a baseball bat and beat the crap out of him. Then he simply warns him that this whole episode is over. If he goes to the Police, eventually he gets out of jail and the next time he goes into a wheelchair permanently. The problem with this mess is that you seem to think no one will react badly and turn to violence as an answer to the problem. Read the newspapers. It happens all the time. And a face to face conversation with his wife ends this whole thing. Nothing to enjoy in this mess because even for fiction it was just laughable.

Great start, I'm dripping on the office chair

Loved the start of your story and want more. Please more I'm sitting here in a puddle. xoxoxo Annette

Good stuff

Part 2 needed to find out what happened to third warrior!!

Laura. email me

We should chat!!

It's a wonderful and well-constructed story, but still needs editing.

excellent work

This ,story really is an excellent piece of work. You really must keep writing ! Try not to keep us waiting so long though for the next episode. !

Holy crap.

I usually don't enjoy stories that has very strong sadistic tendencies, or involve any sort of play with urine or scat, but this is so well written it's hard not to like the story.
Looking forward to the next chapter.

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