I enjoyed all of the chapters in this, very well written. But yes assaulting a cervix is NOT pleasurable. It hurts like fuck. Like being kicked in the balls. I kept having to mentally change the wording their because otherwise it made me wince and involuntarily squeeze my legs shut.
Let me go ahead and apologize up front about the typos in this chapter. Reading just the first paragraph of this one has me rolling. I am going to go throw my computer against the wall and turn off spell check. There is no way I wrote chuckled and not chucked. Sorry! I'll try to update these all ASAP!!!!
This is the first time I have ever given a 5 star rating to a story, or left a comment for that matter. I love Sci Fi. First time reading erotic Sci Fi too. I'm hooked if it's written this well.
Thank you! That IS wonderful criticism and I apologize for not catching them all! I have, I think 20 chapters submitted at this point. I'm in the middle of starting a new job, but I will spend some time this week and more closely edit it all. Hope you continue to enjoy the story!
Yes, you've got some heavy tropes here, but that's pretty much expected in a werewolf story. I've read very few authors who don't use the same plot/character outline, and fewer who have done it successfully.
On top of that, your writing is good enough to allow it.
I disagree with whoever said she was being submissive to her mate. She IS doing what he wants, but she has her own reasons. She's not obeying him, he's successfully playing her.
Now, I'm with anon. Your hints are not subtle. It's pretty obvious her childhood trauma is suppressing her wolf. She's not a null at all, definitely an alpha bitch.
As for accents.....I hate them. Some people do a worse job than others, but mostly they read super awkward, and sometimes even offensive.
I look forward to reading more...please don't take too long to post!
I really enjoyed this. Makes me all tingly!
Girl got spark and game, and hell, I'm feeling just as let down as she was when he walked out, because damn does he need to show us what he's packing. Keep writing, and remember, no matter what anyone tells you, you write what you need to write and ignore the noise, you be you and the people that love what you create will follow.
Oh please don't be one of those authors who leaves readers hanging on forever! Next!
Outstanding story, well written and easily followed. I look forward to the continuing adventures of Cameron and crew, When you get around to it.. From a Squid to a Marine, Sempre Fi.
Watch your typos he/him when you mean her/she and he has blue eyes not green...etc. this is a wonderful series and the flow makes it hard to put down, but your typos are bad enough to hiccup the story line. This story has the potential to be one of those that causes one to be late from their lunch break, or forget to go to bed on time. The typos are bad enough to have to read read to figure out what your communicating. Kind of like a news flash that interrupts a tv program then restarts the show 10 minutes into it. Wtf! (I mean this in the best of helpful context. This story could be in the top 10 for years to come except for typos)
For the next installment.
I hope we find out why the robed guy was so testy with Jack. He said it was uncharacteristic of his species so there may be something there.
But the biggest mystery is how and when will jack have Gee and Bal in his bed.
I've read a lot of stories over the years at literotica. This is usually not my genre of go to reads. Congratulations! You've changed my mind! Great job 5 stars all chapters so far! Excellent imagination very well written! Worth following!
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