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Latest 15 Reader Comments

And so you're back

From outer space? Well, happy and productive writing, New Year.

Really good sexual encounter for Dan and Rose. 5 stars for that

Some paradoxes: If Lower Vil are so incapable of making decisions then is their relationship Non Consensual, by making Rose ask for something she wants, Dan is as cruel as a Master who eg. denies their human slave an orgasm? Maybe it is all conditioning, after all.

Rose seems largely ignorant of the world, yet she realises the implications of coughing up blood - enough to be determined to hide the symptoms? Persistent coughing and blood = TB, or some similar Lower Vil disease. Indicative of the illegal "puppy farm" centre she came from? If she regards her self as property, shouldn't she take better care of herself?

Much to ponder, and later discover you have a totally different story line. Even better, you have a plot that makes us ask why something happened, rather than just what comes next.

I think I read to fast, can you make the chapters longer please. Five stars again.

Yay

It's always such a joy to see one of my favourite stories continued

Awesome!

Ya know, at first I was pissed that Rose is sick, and you've created a whole lot of reasons why Dan can't get her help, and that pissed me off too... Then I thought wait, this is a story... and realized how much you drew me in with your character development. Very interesting premise, this is one of the first sci-fi stories I've ever read. Just a really good story, with likeable characters, and great restraint by the author. I like that you haven't gone so far off with descriptions of future life etc. Just a few references during the story that seem to go by un-noticed but the cumulative effect is an understanding of differences in now life to future life. Just an excellent crafting of an environment, characters and a really entertaining story. It'll still really piss me off if you kill her off. Have enough bad endings in real life, don't need more in Lit land if you know what I mean LOL. Nice job and thank you.

JJ1

plz continue

this is my fav u must continue plz make another one

Holy Freakin Frog Legs Batman!

You are going to FREAK OUT on chapter 68! Unbeleavably good!

The best ever

Best story ever written just more sex at the end and all good😎

thanks for changing your mind

I read this story and liked it when you first posted it.

I don't know why you took it down, but I'm glad you've brought it back, it thoroughly deserves its place here.

awesome story, please keep coming....

a Belated Xmas and new years,
i hope her illness is treatable and short, i would hate for a great story to end due to a possible tragic illness or loss. please keep this story series going a long time.

Wow

Hello again charm, didn't even see your name there till after. Lovely amazing start again. You're a writer after me hearty. And I went pirate for no reason.

Well, she spent quite a bit of time "empty", causing her ass to close up a bit.

fivestars

A well-crafted tale that fits perfectly into a long, long tradition of story telling. I enjoyed reading it.

Theme34xcp

Thanks for the feedback and I know what you mean. Developing characters has been a large part of the story to this point, and planting seeds for things to come has been important. As I mentioned in my Bio; Will's major character arc will conclude in the next chapter, and so far seems to be pretty powerful (IMHO).

The aside with Tani'm was to introduce her character and establish a little bit about what Wildfang has been up to since we last saw him. Chapter 12 will bring a lot of these characters together, if I follow the outline I have in place (which covers out to Ch 12).

It has been important to give the characters time to explore themselves and their powers, especially for Andrew who is kind of flying blind. Before he can challenge anything like Wildfang or Brandon & Mercedes he will need to learn more of his powers. Like I said, a lot of things converge in Ch 12, but Andrew will still not at the point where he can really stand against these people, so it will be interesting to see how it all play's out.

One of the more powerful players that has been lurking in the shadows is scheduled to make their first overt appearance in Ch 10, but you may be frustrated because its kind of a hit and run showing. You will understand when you get to the segment.

It seems that Andrew's conflict with his bond to Karen has rubbed people the wrong way, but I still feel strongly that it makes the most sense for his character. He wants what he knows, and fears anything that may disrupt his bond with Sara. It's taking him time to figure out what is obvious to the rest of us, that bonding with multiple people is part of his nature, and that he is not like his parents.

Karen's nature is changing, but she is much more in tune with who she is and is able to adjust to her changes much more quickly than Andrew. At least that is how I have seen the characters and how they have manifested themselves to me. I write very instinctively, and do very few re-writes, so I could be making the wrong decisions.

More?

I will definitely be keeping an eye on the next offering. I'm intrigued.

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