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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Very creative beginning

The story can go almost anywhere from here. But, please, have someone proof read your text before submitting the next part.

OK

The story isn't bad, but you really need to have someone read it before posting. Someone who knows grammar, etc. it is very hard to edit your own work, and there are tons of problems detracting from the story.

attention

it seems a pity that you paid less attention to editing the story than your disclaimer at the beginning. FAR too many writing errors. spelling, vocab, punctuation, all suffered.

Enjoying the story line and the plot, with that being said maybe a bit more editing would be nice. Keep up the good work though.

Hard as a fan

Umm so i've been a fan since you released in 2014 and I love your work. I'm not the kind of person to push you to release the next chapter as I'm an author myself. My fear is that I'm going to get so wrapped up in this story and then you drop off again. I understand life has challenges just umm well please don't disappoint us. We love your work and if we never saw it to completion it would be the most heinous of crimes. I, as well as everybody else eagerly await the forthcoming chapters.
Sincerely
Wolf

you need to continue this

like what I said above...lol...

Keep working on it.

You have a great start but now comes the tricky part of this stories development. You can go many different ways that could make this into a great story or a bad one. But I will hold my judgment for now. Lets see how you proceed.

That's great comedy.

I'm holding my side from laughing so much because of the ending lol.

what a strange ending...

the story led you on thinking he had found her after she had been injured only to find it was all his dream and he was the one injured....a nice little twist at the end.....

It's hard to rate a story when it is just a snippet. In this case it just alludes to what might be. I've run across too many stories that reach this point and just die, which frustrates me no end. I think you have good start but it definitely needs to be fleshed out.

Understanding

This is your story and it is a great one I do not understand how people can ask for more sex or less sex or more action or less action and then say how great the story it is you are doing a marvelous job keep it up and don't worry about the

Paps

note at the end

A NOTE AT THE END TELLING WHAT YOU JUST READ IS KIND OF ODD. that being said story is developing well. some small grammar errors but not enough to distract from the story.

Hey again Q

Regarding Sophia's minions...more to their story keep reading.
Cloning...yes could be...James needs to figure out how to utilize that option first...if he needs too that is...he doesn't have time to do everything
Immortal and divinity....as you'll learn next chapter that spark is still there...for how long?
I'm trying to cover all bases and develop a good story. Distractions in the real world do have a say on getting the job done to suit everyone. I'll be the first to admit I'm not a Science buff I look up certain things and wing it with the next. If I stray too far off just point out my errors and let's fix them.
Gotta love Google. lol.

Nice read!

You certainly did a nice job interweaving the experiences of your military career into the story. Thank you for creating a good story. I look forward to more from you. Last but certainly not the least- Thank you for your service. Welcome Home!

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