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Latest 15 Reader Comments

Amazing story and very hot!!!!

Wow! Please continue this story I wanna read more.

An idea for the next part could be that she realizes that he made her pregnant she searches for him again.
They would make such a great couple and the possibilities of great sex in this story are amazing;)

Please, please continue...

Interesting

I liked the story. I voted a 5. You have some mechanics issues, such as axillary verbs and over using certain words, but this is common for all writers. Keep writing.

AMAZING 10/10!!

Okay, the story at the beginning was making me sad... But now... AHAHA this is going to be exciting!!! I can't wait for your next update!

Next?

When are you gonna post the next one? Or are they undera different title?

Agree about the Shadow Realm/World issue; not enough

difference between the two for the character to claim as his own.

Oh, as I walked away from the screen after last chapter's comment, I realized I should have used homonym, not antonym.

There still are some minor things that are getting past your collective eyes, perhaps a third pair in the future is what's needed. Do you and your editor discuss continuity, plot conflicts, &/or dialogue problems? Or are they only proofing? For your talents to really soar, and your writing to excel, the writer-editor relationship needs to be closer to a collaborative partnership with a touch of mentoring rather than simply proofing and error correcting.

Character development should be on going; introspective asides, memories, internal dialogue are all useful in that respect, as well as providing a vehicle for plot depth, (deepening?) and/or defining or rationalizing/explaining plot/world/character idiosyncrasies.

The good authors create depth and richness in addition to telling a tale; that's how they mesmorize (sp?) their readers.

Thanks JC

This was a great chapter, well worth the wait. you completely decimated it hahahah
JC

Beautiful

Absolutely lovely, totally captivating work. Amazing that something so great is free. I'd love to have this in a physical book.

It can't end here!!

We have to find out what happens next! This is such a good story. It can't end at part 4! And just when we're about to learn what happens behind the curtain O^O

'Law of Compensation'? Where did you pull that out of?

What a bunch of crap.

The only question I have about the story is what the eff is the 'social finger'? Or, I should say, WHICH is the social finger? If you, as a writer, introduce an obscure term in your writing, you must explain it.

You and your editor need to be a little sharper eyed, as well. This is too high of quality to allow an antonym mistake: 'DEAR in the headlights'? It's amateurish and detracts from an otherwise good story.

wow

You've removed Eddings and Tolkien from the top of my all time favorites list. Please never stop creating more of this.
Paul

hey

I enjoyed the story and look forward to reading more. Btw, does the main character still age when he uses his powers, or does that halt too? And how does one have sex when stopping time? Just a thought.

Loved it

I loved it. I hope to see the sequal be released soon. Please keep up the great work. You write so well, better then a lot of stuff out there.

good work

this story is really nice... the plot build up was even more amazing

Amazon Volumes Vs. Literotica.com Chapters + (Revenue/Cost/Content Question Existential or Otherwise)

How do the days quoted in the Amazon discription relate to the chapter #'s here? - - - - And, once caught up are Amazon Volumes going to work like Patron Feeds, Theatrical Released Blockbusters, OR Vessel where you pay for early access to art? I Like pay for early access, but have trouble justifying to myself, pay for free stuff model on a standardized price model instead of min donation model. - - - - By the way if you'd want to glitz the organization of your work. Using squarespace, an easy website creating tool, and Linda.com, if you'd need easy guides by pro's, would make it really easy to make an faq blog. Posting a link on all your story's comment forums would help drive traffic if you make a blog. And the Google add stuff is easy enough to use as a blog revenue tool to counter hosting costs on a server/website hosting tool like AmazonWebServiced. - - - - I will remember to check back biweekly for a reply, if answers or questions are posted relating to this thread. - - - - PS some Grammer/spelling errors were made with an attempt at clearer reading on a mobile formfacter

take care

I'm glad you are back and ok. I love this story and want to say that your first forray into sci-fi is a rousing success. However, I want to say too that you should be careful about the content of more chapters. I have seen too often where authors have given in to reader's requests and written chapters that water down a good story. Too many characters make the story too complicated to follow and make sense and it already has almost slipped into the 'incess/taboo' category. Using the already existing characters would be good. He could meet up with Betty for the first time on Earth, and Patty, Mom, and Stacy could have some exploits now that Gloria feels healthy and Brianna is in Germany. Maybe Brianna could give Patty her blessing to keep Stacy happy till her return. Stacy returning to the spaceship to meet his and Five's son would be a good tale, and Stacy could argue with whatever authorities that there are that Five should not be dealt with harshly. His presence could have other, unknown benefits also. Please think about this. I've read this story more than once, enjoyed it every time, and would hate to see it ruined with too much length and/or clutter.

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