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??

Now, I don't profess to be a rampant feminist or anything, I am reading this story so that should clear that up right there... but Sweet Tits?.... Sweetcheeks?? seriously??? Even though I haven't agreed with some of the narrow-minded political views involved, I have enjoyed the concepts and plot-line of the story enough to read up to this point. The plot kept me engaged enough to overlook and skim past the 'cut and paste' sex scenes, but I'm quickly losing interest. I hope things improve.

The Trouble with Triggers

That's a good idea—I was thinking the same thing. Note, however, that Balabar didn't use that many triggers. I think the main one that *might* have been a trigger was "bimbo", and it was left ambiguous, as I recall.

I do want to explain at some point what triggers do to their placer, but this story won't have space for that. A Tumblr story, though...

publish

I so agree with others on here. You really should publish this and more of your work. You are so Good. You could make a living do this. This story is so great on so many levels. I would be one of the first to buy your books. I have read this series 4 times and know I will come back to read again in a few months. Good luck in all that you do. Thanks for a great story
LE

I'm not done with this story, but there's business in real life preventing progress. Someday...

Thank you for continuing this story your doing a great job wish you could continue some of the other stories left hanging

The spice mist flow!! Er, I mean Shaza's Tears. :P

Very enjoyable so far, keep up the good work!

My Useless Conjectures

A few of the commenters here still think the BSP could be Mael'Nerak for some reason or that there is more than one Progenitor running around out there. I'm really not sure why. Rachel explicitly stated that it wasn't Mael stirring up things in Trankaran space. From this chapter, we have confirmation that the only thing Progenitors like more than subjugating lesser races (read as "all of them"), is fighting with each other for dominance. It seems impossible that they could team up to fuck with an untrained infant like John.

The surprise to me here was that more than two were left. I honestly didn't expect that.

So here's my conjecturing:
Sometime between the creation of Terrans and the freeing of the Lennarans, Valada taught Mael all about love, respect, and all that hippy shit. He'd been operating without interference from any of his brothers for a minimum of 30K years and had nothing left to conquer so he let his defenses down.
Suddenly, one of his brothers shows up and he is completely unprepared. Mael is fighting a defensive war against an enemy that is capable of using wormholes to travel around the galaxy and one-shot entire planets. At the same time, Mael is no longer willing to use the scorched earth tactics that got him into power and has started to care for his slaves. He can't stand seeing them slaughtered and his hastily created Drakkar army isn't doing the job.

Mael knows his nemesis is only there to challenge him and couldn't care less about the planets or people that Mael rules so he decides to go with a sacrifice play. He cuts his connection to his matriarch and thralls. This greatly reduces his power and his psychic presence in the Astral. We don't have enough info to be sure but I'm guessing that the Astral Leviathan is the projection of another Progenitor. Admittedly, that's a slight change from my last guess.
Anyway, Mael escapes to an undeveloped planet in his domain, perhaps fighting along the way, and crashes his ship into it and puts himself in stasis. His brother no longer has a detectable enemy worth fighting and returns home to protect his own kingdom.

Maybe Mael was expecting the Maliri to find him but Valada was so embittered that she put them on lock down. They decided to hide and cease expansion, thus Arcadia was never developed. 10K years later, Jessica Blake arrives on Arcadia and she revives Mael'Nerak. John is conceived and allowed to grow up in the Terran Federation, though Matriarch Blake is forced to return. Mael, needs her after all.

As a side effect of reviving Mael, his brother becomes aware of his presence again and moves to investigate.

He can't find Mael so decides to start fucking with Mael's creations, namely the Ashanath, Trankarans, and Terrans. This fails to draw out Mael but it does reveal something new, a practically newborn (40 year old) Progenitor named John Blake who has no idea what he truly is.

BSP/Dark One/what-ever-else-we're-calling-him hasn't had a good fight in forever. He lets his destabilization plans go forward hoping to goad John in to becoming a worthy adversary.

That's my attempt to fill in the blanks in the backstory. Of course, Tefler could easily drop some surprises that make it all wrong. There are also a lot of questions that I couldn't begin to guess on.

Who hired Mikaboshi? Was it Rupert Grant or Seb Mortimer? Whatever happened to them anyway?

What's the deal with the Ashanath? What were they created for? What are they hiding? How much do they remember? I suspect we'll get some of those answers in the next couple of chapters. If I were John I would demand access to their archives after saving them a second time.

Do the Enshunnu matter? Are they the descendants of the Achonin? I'm guessing no to both. They have nothing that can threaten John or the Maliri using Dana's tech and Tashana would have figured out the connection unless that was one of the memories that John erased. Even then, I would have expected a hint in her internal monologue when she was looking at the destruction of old Achonin worlds a few chapters ago.

Are the Kirrix the remnants of Mael's brother's shock troops? Rachel never had a chance to examine their DNA to see if they'd been tampered with. If she did and saw the same fingerprints as she saw in the Radiant Queen, that would be proof that Mael's nemesis and the BSP are one and the same.

And so many more....

Thoughts?

-aderi

There's nothing wrong with present tense, though it is over-used by people who think it's easy when it isn't.

I'm glad you enjoyed it - thanks for commenting!

Nice

Really interesting read as always, and a fast upload from the last story it seems, nice.
I remember the "triggers affect the hypnotist too" from EF with the nymphs, but I never think it was explained how it works. Balabar from SC didn't seem to have any problems, so I imagine it's a Fey problem? It could maybe be an interesting Tumblr read? To have the short story be about a Fey who has reached the final, critical edge of burning her brain out with triggers, and then the clinical explanation about how it works?

This is getting good.

I get the feeling Seth's kin is going to make some kind of appearance.

Jesus that scene with Sakura and Alyssa was hard to read. If I were John I would have been way more furious about that. Like, still angry at both of them for the next two chapters furious. Oh and then we could have had a lot more "punishments" and angry sex. I'm sure Alyssa would have loved that. Followed by a passionate reconciliation.

Ah, but don't let me tell you how to do your job. You've clearly got it under control already.

The twin connection was an excellent idea. I foresee a myriad of useful applications for that. Even if it only extends to sex it still has lots of hot potential.

I have to say the revelations about Mael'nerak were a surprise. I'm curious whether all Progenitors really start out evil, and he just lived so long that he was able to see past it, or if it's possible that Progenitors are not inherently evil and it's the influence of the beings in the Astral Plane that push them towards it. We've been getting more and more hints that the Astral Plane creature(s) are really the ultimate evil here. Who knows how far their influence extends?

Progenitor vs Progenitor

We've known since BSP made his appearance that he has avoided confronting John & told his underlings not to try & kill John & thought it was because of a family (father/brother ) relationship . If Mael-nerak is John's father & stranded on his world still maybe there was another reason . Up to recently John didn't realize what he was & even when he found out didn't realize the power he had . It only surfaced when he life was in danger & Pro-John came forward to save the day . Maybe BSP realized that a John unaware was less of a danger & was afraid if one of his people tried to kill him Pro-John would come forward & take over for good & he'd have a full blown ruthless Progenitor to fight . I don't think he (BSP) realizes how much more powerful John & his ladies are than regular Thralls because of their special bond & freedom he's given the girls to grow & the great strides they've made & is going to be in for a big surprise

just a random thought as we wait for the next great chapter .

You did it again

You did it again to your followers. I appreciate your abilities as a story teller and still refuse to comment on minor errors of spelling etc. However I have been forced to reread most every chapter because I felt the overwhelming feeling that I missed something important, not an error of grammar or spelling, but some important line of thought. Now I am going to reread from chapter one to see what my mind has missed as I am a compulsive speed reader I should be able to do this before your next chapter is posted.

Anonymous 01/20/15:

I agree with you. A stronger internal conflict between her desire for freedom (though she doesn't seem to have a desire for freedom in general) and the new mind blowing pleasures she was experiencing, She was portrayed as a fighter for her people in the beginning so I expected her to be more resistant. Still this story is a cut above a lot of what you find on Literotica. 4 stars

I think mael'nerak is johns father. he won the war with other progenitor but got critically wounded and crash landed. As he broke his connection with his matriarch he couldn't recover himself.

I think johns mother found him and became his new matriarch and both of them are in ashantha region right now and the "legacy programme" is repairing mael'neraks ship.

As i remember mael'nerak didn't made kintarks and kirrix, i think both of these races are a product of the other progen and he waited all these years to make himself an army to try and conquer mael'neraks territory again.

ps pls excuse my English coz it is not my mother language

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