The cryptic ending was interesting. Clearly some foreshadowing. However, I agree with the previous comments -- the continuous guilt trip every chapter is crippling your main character. The choice of him going vegan due to some cosmic lightbulb moment of being immortal is petty, particularly in the delivery -- an insulting foot-in-mouth scene with Beth and the others. Should have saved that realization for later, when he's a few hundred years old.
[dontyouwishyouknew] Thanks. The edit for the name-swap has been sitting out there so I patched this error and uploaded the repaired copy. These take a while to be reviewed. Tweaking it will drop me in the queue but we might as well get it patched now.
Plot good, characters interesting, prose well constructed and not balky.
At least two thirds of the overly repetitive sex scenes could have been removed, leaving a less boring and more enjoyable reading experience.
Fantastic world building, I love a good story about journeys and progress so it's great to see how their relationship evolves as they go. Both the sub/dom parts as well as the sweet moments which I particularly like. I'm eager to see how they manage making a home together.
English
Latest 15 Reader Comments
Really enjoying this pleasant smooth ride. World could use more!
Great story, thank you.
Damn, that was amazing! Loved it. As a man, that was fun to watch and virtually participate in. Thank you!
Hot and fun fantasy, just straight up wish fulfillment. Honestly rare to see!
The cryptic ending was interesting. Clearly some foreshadowing. However, I agree with the previous comments -- the continuous guilt trip every chapter is crippling your main character. The choice of him going vegan due to some cosmic lightbulb moment of being immortal is petty, particularly in the delivery -- an insulting foot-in-mouth scene with Beth and the others. Should have saved that realization for later, when he's a few hundred years old.
Excellent chapter. Got to really pay attention to not get lost.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
[dontyouwishyouknew] Thanks. The edit for the name-swap has been sitting out there so I patched this error and uploaded the repaired copy. These take a while to be reviewed. Tweaking it will drop me in the queue but we might as well get it patched now.
Thanks for the heads up about foregone consent.
Plot good, characters interesting, prose well constructed and not balky.
At least two thirds of the overly repetitive sex scenes could have been removed, leaving a less boring and more enjoyable reading experience.
Anon,
You are welcome, and thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed that line and the story in general.
Thank you. This story is fascinating.
Dude, these are some of my earliest stories from like 2016
Lovin it! More please :)
Always nice to meet new people.
Fantastic world building, I love a good story about journeys and progress so it's great to see how their relationship evolves as they go. Both the sub/dom parts as well as the sweet moments which I particularly like. I'm eager to see how they manage making a home together.