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Here's the drama we all feared

I like this chapter for the positive connections Alexis was making but the drama is unproductive, sure we all knew something big will come their way but this is a lot more serious than alexis can comprehend at the moments. Not that Jared did it light on her, keeping her aside for his think time was a stupid move and time apart won't solve anything for that matter. Hopefully it gets resolved quickly and painlessly for I don't want to see either of them hurt and lonely.

5* for the quality and in hopes of fast resolution to the drama.

dialog

I recall from your stories some time ago that your strength was in dialog, your ability to describe inner emotional and psychological conflict through the way in which the characters talk to each other.

I found this story and went back and found ch 1 .. so read both in order. As a portrait of 4 messed up and conflicted people, the story works. I mean, that all too often in stories like this I just feel that the characters are a bunch of idiots. In this story I can feel how they're being torn apart. Your skill with dialog is still there.

OK, as a 'portrait' the story succeeds. The portrait isn't pretty, but life isn't always a beauty pageant.

But I am left wondering about where to go from here, in terms of depth regarding motivation. The matter of motivation is what drives readers to pass moral judgements on possible outcomes - who deserves what, etc.

I am content if an author is ambiguous. On the other hand, the issue of motivation is always there and an author ought to deal with it somehow. I'm thinking specifically about Claire. She is the narrator and in that sense the story is about her and her reactions to events. Certainly in Ch 1 she's incredibly cynical and bitter. This begs the question why. Other reactions are possible. The question of motivation has to do with why this one. It says something about her character.

Does the last two paragraphs give the clue? Certain in the moment, good enough for now? That could well be an explanation for the past marriage. Life with blinders, missing things? I as reader can only speculate. But what did the author have in mind? I'm not so sure.

Brain Food? No.

No one ever came here for intellect.
DDD does like humour so do i. Bonus to me is I love tits too.
All sizes, shapes, textures and ages.
DDD wrote this as satire and it is, but it has a root in reality my reality at least.

Lovely. I might have had her keep him, but I'm a romantic like that. Your ending fits the tone much better. :)

Mrs. Charles

Can't wait to see how she rocks Sam's world. How's his life gonna change once his size becomes public knowledge among the female populace?

Yet another aspiring amateur author who thought "First Person, Present Tense" was the way to go.

It wasn't. It comes down to "stream of consciousness" or (to dumb that term down a bit), "I'm pulling this out of my ass and making shit up as I go". One in ten writers might have a chance to pull it off without falling flat on their face, and half of those still do a relatively shitty job.

If you were telling someone an erotic story (like, having a threesome, for instance), you'd tell them "what HAPPENED". You would NOT tell them "what's HAPPENING".

That's the difference between "present tense" and "past tense". If/when you decide to write again, try telling your story in the way the OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of people would tell the fucking story. Or don't. And fail again. Whatever.

My Man!

Hot erotica. Give us more plse

Great first Story

Loved the story so i definately hope for follow ups with even better bits to look forward to from these two.

Hope this isn't asking to much but you mentioned usualy writing for a diferent website any chance you can post your older stories here to? Especially if they are also in this category :D

Flubbed Again

DG, I enjoy your stories, yet this one is another flub... second I have commented on. First, the increase in the mortgage would have been known to him. If Home Equity, then by the payment increase. If regular mortgage requiring refinance, then he would have had to sign. I would have told Beth that I was going to sue Jeff for everything he had for being an instigator in all this. The only way I would not is if Jeff drafted an agreement, acceptable by the bank, that all financial obligations with Beth were no more. Once signed and agreed, then I could prove Jeff was in an active sexual relationship with Beth while she was his client. Then I would show the P.I. report and this agreement to them saying the State Legal Board would be interested in this.

This makes me want to try it. Where's Jim at so he can cum in my mouth for my first taste of cum and then fuck my virgin ass. Maybe I can meet you both and both of you fuck me and make my fantasy come true

Wow I want to try this. Where's Jim located at? I would love to taste his cum for my first time as well. Then have him fuck my virgin ass too I really have wanted this for a long time. Maybe I can fill my biggest fantasy of all and you and Jim both let me suck both of your cocks at the same time and take turns fucking my virgin ass. I'm really scared but I really want to do it badly. Please?

Getting better.

RobertL, your writing is continueingbto impove. I enjoy your stories.

I have always asked why are they married and now he finally realizes but it is too late. His wife has never really loved him the way a wife should becasue she never acted like he was number 1 in his life.

I really kinda feel sorry for him. He has lost out on so much.

Gave it a 5

Strange one........... did he turn off the life support when no one was looking?

New York

Great story, I've been to some of the places Gabe went to in New York a few years ago, all the way from Lil old England, lol, thanks keep up the good work

Like the story he should of let Pam get some revenge also, plus he should introduce Pam to bsdm and maybe allow Pam an Angie into a threesome

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