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I did enjoy this little poem. Has a very flirtatious feel. Very British.


for the wood to sink. TK U MLJ LV NV

An earnest critique

I find the poem charming and playful. The wordplay in the title is clever. I have questions about your use of archaic words like "wouldst" and "forsooth", though. First of all, "wouldst" is the second person familiar, so it would be used with "thou," not in the first person. Also (this second point is moot) it would make sense to use it consistently throughout the poem. "Forsooth", through no fault of its own, has become corny, because it gets used as a stock expression to invoke an archaic mood. If your intention is to invoke that mood, I would avoid the ultra-modern usage of the word "gift" as a verb, again just to be consistent.

The artist/model dynamic can be a battle of spirit: hers waged in bare flesh, his with voyeur eyes. But is the artist voyeur to the model, or to his own desires? Nice poem.

Nice work. Sometimes passion overwhelms, and you capture the moment well.

be my mistress

I would love for you to be my Dom Mistress. Your words turn me on so much.


butt you love it............nice poem!

Thanks for the comments :)

Oh my God

I came twice before I finished reading

A perfect tease

of a poem. The pace and the unfolding of the model's teases and the artist's torment are delicious. Well done, which ain't no surprise to me. xo

Well done

While I agree that this is not what I would normally think of as erotic, I think it has it's place among the collected chotskies of erotica,

I find it heartbreaking and heartwarming as well, providing a glimpse of the pain but also the pleasure before the loss. I find myself refusing to believe after what precedes it that 'love no longer bursts' but perhaps that is the great catharsis of packing away such things. You have a wonderful way with words.

Elegant and evocative of time and place.

Been There

As lovers who give our all, we have all been there so many fucking times.

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