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Ms. Price?

Aside from a short time by himself, did he really risk STD's, his self-respect, etc. to screw wife's buddy? He easily could have complained of illness, etc. to ask for a rain check. At least he could have taped some conversations with wifey and her friend about her sex sessions with other men.

Nice fantasy.

Have you ever heard of the word fraud? For so much money, do you really think that a whore like Donna would really care what her mother would think about the pictures, and why would Frank care at all? As for tying her up, he'd go to the big house for awhile for domestic battery.

Finish it

Zzzzzzzzzz same old she's a slut end of daughter should be taken away, she should had her tubes tied at birth Mike should be with jasmine jen is the horroblist character ever I want her dead, Mike can have fire door shut an kill them all an he told frank, a woman with dried sperm next 2 a daughter she thinks she loves wich is utter bullshit, jen needs to learn Mike should dissappear with Anna he's so clever even old bastard frank would never find him, u promised nasty end keep your word

Yes!!!

This was your most well-rounded work yet. My biggest complaint with your previous stories was, you would mostly skip over the seduction and skip over the illicit sex, which in my opinion is the most important part to an erotic affair... the how and why. Even though the seduction was brief and vague, it painted a more vivid picture of what happened. And telling of the affair from the "villain" POV added a great new dimension to the plot... it really confirmed how desirable Sasha could be to men other than her husband.

I liked Sasha... her being a sex maniac was such a turn-on. Although, Janet is still my favorite of yours. I love how Janet has a short fuse... a bad temper... that makes for an interesting seduction target for a villain, and women with short fuses tend to be animals in bed. I hope we can see Janet seduced and sexed like Sasha in this story.

Your story is called The End of Something. Well, I'm really hoping this is only the beginning... the beginning of a dtiverson that still gives us great storytelling but also delves into the dark side of lust with a view into the naughtiness that is a beautiful wife succumbing to seduction, and the glimpse into the twisted mind of the seducer.

What?

You can sure write a steamy rutting scene, but what about a story?

Addendum

Oops, another little quibble ...

The IRS wanted back-taxes from Sweetie? Not sure if that was a gratuitous slam on our Federal Bloodsuckers, or respect for their tenacious nature. It is NOT documented how she was supported for the year plus-after Sweetie awoke and was discharged, except that her nurse, Mary, took her in. She had psychiatic bills, most likely, but that was not elaborated, nor any other of her financial situation.

Further, Sweetie had two names until Thick Hubby got her name back. Julia Doe was probably the first, then her married-to-Long-Hubby name. Even her first name shifted back to her given name after she recovered. Hard to imagine that the US State Dept. coordinated with the IRS on the annulment of her US passport and on her real name. Even if they did, how much could she have been earning to send out an agent to the airport? If Long Hubby had filed a joint-return for the year she was living with him, that would have covered half of her 'debt!'

Interesting story

I liked it. The story and sex were good, might need a little editing there were enough synonym and spelling problems to be distracting. All in all a good read. I hope you have more stories.

Humm... well, I suppose...

Lets see...

Well, you have an entirely odd comment from c'hi... I think he cut and pasted it into the wrong comment section.

And, there was (minimally) a boat...

Your stuff is influential - I was reading some of qhml1's stories and lately he seems to have stolen some of your images...

Here? Sasha seems underdrawn - she is supposed to be wise and clever and hot... but her personality seems a bit adolescent. Jake was contemplative, but most of the philosophical basis of the piece was done by internal monologue - I was hoping somehow it could be moved into dialog or something else.

Plotting, somehow, I was thinking that Kat wasn't genetically his until the very end, and the very end looks very much like it may have been that way, at least in a draft that was removed. The timing issue muddied the water in that aspect.

I don't know. I think I would have liked it better if the characters were working on the same issues, but a bit more mundane... not Jimbob44 mundane (or Matt Moreau), but something less heroic...

Still I enjoyed the story, and give the negative in hopes of a better positive.

Green-soemthing

Mike the hyper intelligent man

Needs to grow a pair of balls.... take out Frank permanently already... and Jen is never going to stop... what a shame... the kid is more like a pet. You walk and feed it when you get home.

These stories have become cookie cutter.

If you're going to change POV ...

Have something to indicate the change, a line of some kind of special characters. SOMETHING!

Curiouser and curiouser and curiouser.

Frank Tower's long-term plot to remake Jen has always struck me as a sinister variation of the pathological Jimmy Stewart character's bizarre effort to remake the alter ego of the Kim Novak character into what she had been in Hitchcock's Vertigo -- a movie with a tragic ending. Moreover, could Frank Tower be a threat not only to Jen and her marriage, but to the country as well, and might that be something Mike wants to tell (or wishes he could tell) Jen about, assuming she would believe it?

Also, the author had said that this series would be the last on Jen and Mike. Whether or not that is true, just as the Captain Willard character in Apocalypse Now said in his opening soliloquy that he would never want another mission after the one to terminate the command of Kurtz "with extreme prejudice," another Jen & Mike series could only be an anti-climax, considering the depths and intensity of what has transpired so far, unless they were to slip through a wormhole into a parallel universe and interact with an alternate Mike and Jen -- which could actually have many interesting (and better?) possibilities once the current (final?) series is truly exhausted.

Finally, the author used to have a bio posted on Literotica in which he talked about trying to persuade his real-life wife (assuming that xleg is indeed a male) to act out some of his peculiar fantasies, to which she reportedly "rolled her eyes." Curious that he does not have a Lit bio at present. Can the reader infer anything from that in relation to this ongoing series? Although his online status is still listed as "attached" (and that could mean multiple things), might he have incorporated some disturbing real-life events into the characters and the narrative -- a rather common device for writers? Or is this tale truly fiction, and the deletion of his bio just a coincidence?

One wonders.

Susan is a fucking slut, this story disgusts me, for some reason the husband isn't even the slightest bit suspicious of just how good she is at 'playacting' a whore again and again.
Especially that last paragraph, she doesn't seem to have a care about having slutted it up with three different men not her husband in the span of a few days.

Where do I start?

Oh, OK; excellent, superb, a definite five.

Now to the good stuff...

First, recognizing no one really wins in a divorce Jeffery did as well as expected.

Second, some said it was long and tedious; I didn't think so, not at all.

Third, though it was about a multi-millionaire it wouldn't have mattered, people who are much less affluent fight just as hard and just as bitterly. I've read where they've fought over stainless steel silverware and precious moments figurines.

Our protagonist's hook up with Charlie was eminently believable. How many second hook ups in these things tend to be the lawyer, or the private investigator?

I'm glad Jeffrey made that 'last attempt' to 'reconcile' with his ex-wife. By reconciliation I don't mean a rekindling of a dead marriage, but a mutual acceptance and a recognition they still had three daughters they needed to share.

One regret, somewhere I'd hoped the 'Frenchman' would have found a way to disappear on Rachel. He didn't, but I have a hunch it was because he wasn't quite done milking the 'cow.'

Summarily, I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Now I've got to go on the Internet and find Lake Burley Griffin.

Thanks again,

Jedd Clampett

Haunting Story

It a story about being haunted and it stays with the reader long after it has been read. That is the mark of a good writer. It's a very different story for this site - not the one I would personally choose for the Valentine's contest but one that elicits my respect and maybe a bit of awe for you as a writer. Thank you for a haunting story.

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