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Latest 15 Reader Comments

YES!!!

Please continue. There is so much more to be done with this premise.

Great Start

I really think this could be a 5 Star tale, but it was a bit short and the sex was over and done with too quickly. For a first effort it is fantastic. I really hope that you continue this and add some detail. There is so much room for his experimentation. I am sure that mom and dad could become enthusiastic supports of his and assist him in future conquests.

Love the dedication of Han

I absolutely loved this story. Han's dedication to her new master is mesmerizing. I am your PLAYGROUND-awesome!

Mind games

Enjoyed your story very much and hope there are many more chapters, PS : Would really love to know the phrase key

Wow

I love it. You are one talented writer (I wish I had your skill) and I So agree, it could definitely use an audio accompaniment. Just Love it.

Awesome!

This is an awesome story so far that has the potential to be one of the best on this site. Please keep writing! I am dying to know more!

Why authors like to write stories about losers getting the beautiful girls. Loser don't get clever girls, man! Losers are losers are losers...

You're right

I wrote the ending to this and didn't go over it as much as usual. Honestly I feel as though I had learned from criticism, both positive and negative, and wanted to move on to something fresh. I just submitted the first episode of my next series and I'm very excited and hopeful that I correctly took all the good and bad criticism as a proper teaching lesson to where this next series will carry out to a fully thought out climax. I am sorry that the ending seemed rushed, and I can't deny otherwise. I can just hope that you will enjoy my newest work when it is up for you to read.

Death.

I would have fucking killed.

Oh lordy

This is really good, I look forward to more!

Love it.

Always so hot!

I don't think I even ever saw the Jungle Book, but I still here and see it in your story.

Great

Great set up. Unique story. Excellent detailed bringing the characters to life.Five stars

Idiotic!!! MINUS 5*!!!

Commission of a crime is it self in a fantasy idiotic!! A hypnotist who takes advantage of a patients in a sexual manner - ha ha ha!! Unbelievable that an adult can write such a crap!!!

Sorry bro

But the ending was a huge pile of crap. I am not talking about believable characters this is Literotica after all. What I habe to say though is that the ending is to rushed and far too random. "Light Fairy of Lust" my ass!

good premise and imagination even if a bit juvenile. That keeps me from giving you

2 * for each chapter. Your spelling, grammar and punctuation are at 6th grade level at best. Take this as constructive or go practice on a less sophisticated site then return. Look into getting Wordperfect ver 10 - 17 on ebay or other discount sites. It includes Grammar checking and writing tools.

Here are examples of your problems - all taken JUST from page 1 of this chapter.
When Nancy fingers found Nikki's pussy so nearby
while coving the back of his neck
They were broken into groups of eight, (four males and six females) [counting?]
After dinner they a short classroom training
the beings he has seen earlier
She never seemed too tired of sucking on
and in thirty seconds review the last eight hours
counter the encountered a beautiful blue woman completely naked and typing
later and dropping several items on the counter.
She smile and wiggled back
just as it was becoming uncomfortable is cooled.
What the assignment, Sir.
The melted in his mouth and
found his backpack the prototype was in its case as he left it he had
to the transport so decided to explore and look
He'd learned was where he'd been issued his gear.

It's painful to read.

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