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Latest 15 Reader Comments

I enjoyed the story for a while,, but it went a little too far

Too much of a good thing is too much. Writing is excellent, just more than was needed

I agree with Boratus

Same as Boratus said. The chapters so far contain many spelling mistakes and while the story in itself is good that makes me enjoy it less.

Obvious inspiration

Very clearly inspired (maybe even slightly copied, but I won't accuse you of such) by The Choice and ChaosMuramasa. I don'5 know where you've went, but other than the tense switching and continuity errors, I look forward to more.

Another great chapter, looking forward to seeing the next one! Great story

Well done

Congratulations. I really enjoyed the story.

more chapters

I really hope there will be more chapters. I feel there is so much more of the story that can be told.

I suffer from migraines

It's not something you can hypnotize away, it's not stress related but I swear that when the icicles of pain are inserted into my left or right temple, it's all I can do to not throw up.

Hypnotism my ass.

Erin's virginity

I hope Julia forces Erin to give up her virginity to her. Both of her holes :)

Please we need more chapters

A great story, I love every moment of this.,great writing also. Can you please make a dozen of chapters, don't want to end it so early. And slow down the actions you are going too fast.


Whoever gave you that "criticism" was harsh

Well writen. Plot didn't get me but well written . I will look to see if you have other stories posted.
Only problem now is that Goddess Angelika will see I have been reading and I will be punished . Good story after all !

Wow, what a crappy story...

...seriously. I'm generally not one to indulge in profanity, but this was complete shit.

Thank you for your support!

The next section is coming along, and I've given myself a deadline of BEFORE December for it. The month of December for me this year is so busy that I may not have time to get to my computer at all, let alone work on writing, so that makes it my obvious deadline. This coming section be the 'Friday finale' and wrap up this night for these characters / this portion of the story, either as one much longer chapter or possibly split into two chapters that you'd get back-to-back.

I found an amazing proofreader (or rather, an amazing proofreader found me) who's both exhaustive and patient, so a lot of early sections in this chapter I was struggling with and unsure of how to fix have been resolved.

The last hitch (besides me simply running out of free weekends where I have time to write) is.. whether or not I should head-hop between different character perspectives for this finale portion. On the one hand I want to be fairly consistent and keep things like I have in past chapters, but on the other hand, there will be a LOT going on and I feel like readers may feel unsatisfied if they're limited to a single perspective for it.

Let me know what you think!

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