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I would like more of this series. It's a great beginning to a series.

Fun and different

It is a funny, doesn't take itself to seriously piece of erotica that has surprised with how good it has been so far. Keep it up!


This and its coming successors are my best attempt at a "consenting non-consent" story. It's kind of a niche genre I guess, but I get guilty even reading full-on non-consent or brainwashing stories.

I really do enjoy your writing. You're one of my favorite authors here. I realize you really have a taste for revenge. That and dominance. I never really gave it much thought but after reading your stories I have to admit it intrigues me. Keep up the good work Looking forward to more.

It is /definitely/ the start of a series.

Yup, they're pretty 1d so far. They'll get less so, although only to a certain extent due to the style I'm writing in.

It just gets better and better - looking forward to the next episode with baited breath.

nice twist

I've seen a couple of stories that have roughly the same "magic gun" element to it and you've pulled an intestering thing out. I'll be looking forward to more releases.


I can't wait for the next chapters and I hope we get more "targets" in the mix. Those darn characters. Well if they won't cooperate with the author I hope new ones will... I might opposed to brother & sister stuff but hey I don't mind he targets sisters that are not his own or anything in that mix just not blood related. Either way, I can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Fun and a little strange.....

.....but that's how these go, isn't it?
Lots of fun, this one!

good intro

I truly hope this is the first of several chapters, some with these two, some with more "customers," and some with the Market staff.

Well, if it had the makings of a story, rather than a single scene.....

....I might have felt better about it. As it is here, not enough material to call it a story.
We know almost nothing about any of the three characters and they come off one-dimensional, because you provided no real characterization.
It might become a good story, if you actually put that much time and effort into it.
My gut tells me this, while similar to a number of MC stories, had some unique and interesting elements and so, would likely be a 5* story.....if it was indeed a story.

core concept is good....

But please, for the love of god, find someone to proofread. Someone who is fluent in English, and got more than an F-.

Gave it a 2 for the base, if you find someone to proofread, and re-upload an editted version, I might bump it to a 4.

"teats" are for udders

after 50 chapters I have accumulated enough aggravation over the word "teats" referring to human mammalia. maybe in a biology text naming what animals use to feed their infants, but in a stroke story?? also compare "to" & "too".
generally good action, if a little repetitive. it's not a novel just because you add more people doing the same thing.


If you could please write more, it is a good twist. It kinda reminds me of gotcha gotcha revolution, when the guy begins to play a virtual reality game and then gets turn into a girl in a freak accident. 👍👍

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