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I felt myself...

...been swept along in the air and tumbling through your summer door.
I did enjoyed your poem :-)

I really like

this poem. Its unfortunately very true and hits a nerve because of that, in a good way.

I forgot

I meant to add that the title really works well.

I like a poem that makes me work to understand it

but even knowing the place and opera refs still leaves me with a pretty disturbing narrative. I don't know why, exactly, but that doesn't seem to matter.

There's a tension leading to a shocking image--

"should i thank giotto
or merely grovel before you,
subservient as an undertaker freshening
your dead mother's face"

that is echoed in the last line with that disturbing (again) juxtaposition of images.

It's not a comfortable poem.

Lines that cause a physical reaction in a reader is a good thing. (Not to mention the feels, and you induce a whole tumble of emotions across the poem. Ya know, cohesive.) :-)

PS the post it note on the fridge put me in mind of Williams' "Plums."


Beautiful lines twining and twinning with each other. ( sorry, I couldn't resist) It feels like you've cut off gravity, and I'm spinning slowly and out of control into nowhere and everywhere. The last couplet is a wonderful closing.

Fankq Ash...

...I am appley, apeely as smiley as could be now :-D

Why, thank you

I have seen your prowess as a poet, GM, so your comment means a lot. I have not written poetry until recently (apparently I was waiting for inspiration, and I found it.) My connection to poetry has been as a translator of classical poetry, so I am accustomed to working with rhyme and meter. But I am also experimenting a little with free verse.

what an amazing journey...

...of words, emotions, concepts, imagery!

brim-full of sound play, it's not easy to write successfully about the act of writing - but you've brought your skills to bear here and have produced a piece worthy of attention.

what i love most in this piece is how you frame vignettes, like the thoughts that arise on the turning of each card. but they don't feel isolated: sound and the sense of watching a man scratch ink across a page work to make this piece as cohesive as it is comprehensive. hats off, Harry x

I already commented on this well crafted poem in PF&D, AH. I'm not as big a fan of formal poetry as I once was, but know a good one when I see one.

Loved all of it

with all its twists and turns, but my favorite part is that middle stanza:

I am lonely. I want
us to join like this earth, like this sand,
in some violent and raging fire.

punnin' on 'a peel' &

appeal ??!! Attagal , HoneyA : 5-ed .

Ditto. Nice twist of surprise at the end that fit so well with what preceded it.

I'm wondering...

Why do you submit your poems in the "non-erotic" category?

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