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You could have saved this

This wasted my time. This is a none story! If you wanted to declare your feelings for this person write a damn note to her!


Great story of some ole'Salts (x-CPO myself).... Forgot to use the infamous name for the red-light are in Pearl; 'Hotel Street'.
I know if I ever win the Lotto (early retirement) I hope to collect it 100% anonymously (like to duck the IRS too, buttt) as my family would have their hands out expecting some, why: they would rationalize since I did not earn it and was just luck they should also get some of the free money, even if they loathed my since I left for the USN in 1973.

Nice to see one sibling got her head screwed on straight.... And really great to see the MCPO enjoying using his skills. And in almost all Military Asian wife marriages "she" rules the roo$t - he only thinks he does.

Yes, sometimes things do go wrong.

Did the previous anonymous not remember that it was only an engagement? Or is he/she as didactic and purblind in real life, not to realise that he/she was being treated to an adult explanation (possibly the word adult is being used in the wrong context, but then I presume sciolism must form a major part of their gene makeup).


...as these chapters have been, the very best part was the last line:



Sasha didn't fall for the slime-bag! I was worried there for a while. Jared never deserved her, acting as disrespectfully as he did. Real love cares about feelings, not just body parts and friction.


Good, Interesting Story

First it could be better with a bit of editing, Second, it is well classified as non-erotic though it could be put in novellas. Third, I liked that Sue's Asian heritage only appeared when his family got back into the story. Fascinating collection of friends that the his father had. No one would help him so he used his son as a scapegoat.

The story starts to be more interesting

Perhaps the chapter should have been a little longer introducing more to the new characters, but if you read the first chapter, you can see quite well.
I think this story should be read with a rather open mind, it is mental control with incest and maybe even a touch of romance, we will see the third chapter.
At the moment, 5 * for you.
I apologize for my English (yet), is not my native language.

So much packed into such a short little story

The emotions, the fear, the relief, the description of an angry abusive man all captured so well. The resolve at the end is calming and peaceful.
Just right.
Once in a while the column of Winners leads to one just like this years after it was submitted. A nice bonus find.


Only the UK cuck loser brigade could find this story to be enjoyable.... Wow, just too pathetic for a score.....

Why can't everyone write like this

No adultery, no cheating, just pure love and admiration. And a family feud. Great writing, I will be reading more of your stories.

A translation is needed

and some way to fill in the gaps.

i.e. what does this mean?
"Doing right by those in pain are your charge."

It looks like this series is going to join all the other almost but not quite stories.

Keep track of details

How do any of his cloths fit if he changed so much last chapter? How did he go to freaking out about sleeping with his mother to completely calm about it? How does he know an upper manager at a bank? Who is this new half-Japanese girl, and how do we know her more buxom mother? Why did this girl not react to the major changes to his appearance, let alone standing there naked when she walked in? And that is not even getting into the issues surrounding the letter from his father...

Seriously, get an editor and learn how to storyboard.

This is Great!

Loving this series. The characters are terrific, each with their own flaws that drive their choices.

Nice Story

I enjoyed this story. It was well written.Unfortunately some of the family never got with the program but that is as it is in life as well.

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