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Good potential

The end was a bit rushed. They got naked in the living room, wouldn't their parents find their clothes on the living room floor?

I would give it a solid three stars.


Great story, love, pain, with a spoonful of emotion included.
Well done, enjoyed it greatly
Cheers from the UK :)

Just one little quesion....

their clothes were just inside the front door when they left the house. Who came in the front door next - and FOUND those clothes? 2nd Question - Will the second chapter continue the tale of a young woman carrying her "brother or sister" who is also her "nephew or niece"?

Risky/stealthy sex is the best

The way she let her thighs slap so loud and made the car smell like sex were the hottest parts. More of that please, loud sweaty sex is super hot.

You mentioned suggestions so how about these:

- Using the seatback or dash as leverage to ride her son extra hard and loud.
- Handjob or blowjob under a restaurant table.
- Sex in a public bathroom, maybe up against the door while the dad waits outside.
- Sex in the hotel pool or hot tub, under the water where he can't see them.
- Sex in the same room while he's asleep. Even better, sex in bed right beside him.
- Sex in the same room while he's still awake. Maybe cuddled under the bedcovers behind his back while he's preoccupied watching TV? Or maybe while he's in the bathroom. Imagine him coming back to her freshly fucked and the room reeking of sex but he's still oblivious.

Those are just random ideas, not exactly car sex, but in any case I'm excited to see you continue this story.

Well it's true...

The writer doesn't know the first thing about earthquakes. That being said, this story was hot none the less. Now how about Mom and brother helping the sister to find some relief... lol.

I gave up

I don't think I made it beyond 6 or 7 paragraphs. The paragraphs/.sentences are way too long. I wonder if English is not your native language. I was worn out reading this drivel. It would probably have been better if you had someone,at a minimum, proof-read this for you. I typically try to point out the good things in a story. Alas, I cannot with what I've read so far.

I agree with other commenters. It is just a beginning of saga about fraternity. Of course such stories to be finished with orgies like Baseball Cougars Take The Lead by George VI

Fucking shit!
Another of the clean-shaven all over the brain who writes: -"and she was freshly shaven, bald and glistening."

Well, and.. immediately lost interest to me to read these: -"shaven", "bald" and "shiny". Why almost everyone have "shaved" brains? Because it's yet children write?

I have told authors that they need to get an editor; when i do i always make sure it's under my "real" name - insofar as the name i use here is "real".

Yeah, this story could use a little clean-up, but it's far from the worst i've read and enjoyed here.

As to spelling errors - "Dew knot trussed spill chick two ketch awl miss steaks." If you really care, get someone else to proofread for you.

Loved it

I think you're an excellent writer. The dialogue and action read easy and natural.


I like this genre. Hope there is more coming.

Great Story

I loved this story, it's one of the best out there, I will eagerly be awaiting your next installment, I also loved how you also focused on the main characters and did not throw a bunch of random people in it for just some orgy.

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