"a blue bkini/dark" I think would have suggested more without "blue."
"children's beach" very effective image with what's really going on; sets things up well with what's to follow" eg., "he gave me a story to read."
"I wanted to take off the clothes/wear him" better than what's in between.
Loved "a story pretending to be/about French Louie/but in reality,/about roller coaster rides,"
Dirty talk words can work in a poem, but I didn't think "pussies" in this part of the poem did anything.
As far as the rest of the poem is concerned, I would say if you can lead the reader by suggestion, rather than description where you want the reader to be, the poem is better for it. A useful exercise in that regard is to pare back the words and see whether or not the intended meaning is lost.
I enjoyed reading this but believe it needs some editing. Thanks for posting it. I hope to read more of your stuff.