A Birthday Celebration Gone Awry

Sunday football, a family party celebration
Everyone gathered, chip and dip, grilled treats
Stomachs filled, satisfaction complete
Settling in, contentment lingering

A birthday cake of matriarchal honor
A cherished moment, no thoughts
of aging effects nor early onset
Parents with four adult siblings of twenties and thirties

Reminiscing of childhood presents
and memories for which to be beholden
of simpler times and cherished moments
A more perfect day not recently known

Time was maturing, celebration enduring
The day completed, familial lingering
Hugs and kisses, departures beginning
As thoughts turned toward the ensuing week

Cautions and warnings, be safe, be certain
Requests for notice of travel completion
The second in line departs with assurance
That returns were likely with minimal duration

Alerted in silence not shortly thereafter
Too soon to foresee the impending tragedy
The eldest jumps up, the phone to his ear
The words from his brother, unable to hear

He rushes outside, as if in a panic
Straining to understand what he finally hears
My fears become heightened, I chase after him
Trying to understand the unfolding disaster

Too much emotion, none of it good
A man, broken to tears, uncontrollably inconsolable
Disbelief, heartbreak, conscious unconsciousness
I struggle to determine, “the end” is my fear

I see him scream out, the mobile neglected
I pick it up, hold it, and continue the chase
NO desire for contact his exclamations continue
No, no, no, no, why, why, why, why?

A friend, lost, never to be heard from again
My son’s brother’s girlfriend confided
The brother himself unable to speak on the phone
Beholden to his emotion, but alive nonetheless

My worst fears at rest
But what was the message
Too little details, just the headline
His best friend was dead

Most recently an attempt at righting the wrong
Seeking support from the best, those in the know
How could things have gone so terribly amiss?
No one will ever really know, or fully understand

Returning home from a few days of assisted control
Confusion about his return, his wife collects him
Safely deposited back at his place, yet, left alone
She had left believing things were all right

Thinking that he had responded positively
to the medications and treatment, and impending return
He had spoken to a neighbor, with no signs of plight
Unexpectedly he leaves, arriving at his mother’s alone

His return to normality quickly deflating
His crutch attainable, while his control was waning
No understanding of why, his failure engaging
The alcohol took hold and events set in motion

A firearm quickly pressed to his head
No recovery available to amend
No, no, no, no, why, why, why, why?
Exclamations repeated by my son, again and again

His mother had found him lifeless that Sunday morning
Outside in the yard, not far from her patio
Her having been out of town the night before
The gun left unattended had been fired

Both my sons knew him
The older one as close as a brother
They had supported each other
When times were tough and challenges present

A text was later discovered from the “boy’s” mother
Failing to engage my eldest earlier in the day
Consolation limited to the birthday celebration
Uninterrupted by the disaster not far away

We went that night, not understanding the details
Only supporting memories of years past
Trying to be of unknown comfort
Not knowing how his mother would react

My eldest retraced his memory, aided by the texts
His work schedule believed to prevent his assistance
Mistakenly thought the return for Friday, not Saturday
He could have been there, and things would be different

My son has had a few close friends over the years
None as impactful as the one now lost
His lack of answers defining his disbelief
Of the chain of events recently unfolding

Our family members now with concern on their mind
Attempting to provide support to our cherished
Hope with the possible passage of time
That answers are found, enough to sustain