A Catalog of Experiences

author's note: this is dedicated to Charles Lindbergh, who would have made a fine U.S. President.

A. Juggling three walnuts, under legs, behind the back, realizing one's self as a person of ability; Pacing back and forth, cooly holding conversation without missing the slightest sleight of hand or manipulation of the air. $.99 and obsessive practice

B. Holding Hatha Yoga's "warrior pose," with a higher conception of enlightenment, feeling the reality of the universe flow through one's veins: no more dis-connection from the world or the depression it brings.
$30

C. Reading "Hamlet" and then receiving brilliant insights into the great speeches from a sexily dressed but modernly confident woman who breaks up her lectures with loud swearing and stories about LSD trips. "Get thee to a nunnery!"
$500

D. Eating an almost rare Shark Steak doused in blue-berry sauce and with a hearty side of asparagus, complimented by a few bottles of Le Modirat(The Damned) beer; views of Poseidon rampaging on the shores of San Fran and also of some very beautiful young yuppesses chatting wittily with their parents.
$100

E. Zooming down the Texas free-way in a new, electric-blue Jaguar, maneuvering, responding to every sinew of the road, becoming one with space-age technology, a Samurai with a cyborg soul, occasionally sipping from a latte made from Mocha Java beans with hints of citrus and blue-berries, and at other-times scanning the sage-brush to the awesome blue of the sky, with "Sweet Home Alabama" driving crystal clear out of German-made speakers. "What I gave does not bother me; does your conscience bother you? Tell the truth."
$100,000

F. A night on a third-story suite with Chelsea X., that slightly chubby and slightly slutty nymph in who the world is won or lost; with the red moon shining in a bottle of Concordat champagne, drunk on a balcony over-looking a black sand beach and crashing Pacific waves.
$20,000

G. A submarine trip to the bottom of the ocean to revel in the depths of God's creation, seeing clouds of jelly-fish beating as a single heart, a Zebra Eel, a hammer-head shark, and gardens of pink Sea Tulips.
$1,000,000

H. Erecting a palace in the spirit of one's own and the age's greatness: a towering marble monster tamed to serve the animal needs of mere naked apes, with great white courtyards calling the youth to heroic action, every walk-way lined with sculpture of the most elevated and hedonistic nature.
$20,000,000

I. Emerging from a hovering space-craft to greet brilliant, swimming creatures on their home-planet, emerging forth a warrior in a spirit of peace, a states-person with a scholarly awe.

note: If I get this far, I'll have seized the government and will have replaced this petty, capitalistic system.