A Confession

I’m shuddering out of my flesh,
Everything is breaking down around my room
Blue is reflected in me and the wires running down my arms
Can I live the irresponsible uncaring life?
Or do my words paint me into a masterpiece
A fake fucking Rembrandt posted among timeless works.
Would anyone care if I acted like a rebel?
I collapse in a heap at the realization of what may be
Accused of theft and failure and the truth
Facing blemishes on my life
I want to hide among the crowd as beautiful and unrecognizable
As every Denim model ever born.
There’s so much shaking and uncertainty
That I pray to the roof for catatonia to envelop me
When they find me wrapped in success
Will they all see the mockingly dry smile?
Perhaps one of the few will see how liquid I am
How easily washed away and dammed
I will become for years to come.
Ill wait for the dam to burst and nourish the lands
Hopefully ill break before the ever consuming and controlling sun
Dries me until there’s nothing left but dirt.