- Erotic Poetry
- A Fable
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Click hereHer pointy little tongue
cut into me
like a chainsaw into a sequoia
and even as my old growth fell,
trembling, to the soft floor
of the Forest of Need,
my question was:
Will she finally hear its sound?
Thanks to twelveoone for the simile.
- COMMENTS
twelveooneabout 10 years agothough you may be
the better verser
you must admit
mine was worser
your ending was soooo bad, it makes wince and laugh at the same time
perfect ouch
5ed with glee
Tzaraabout 10 years agoAuthorThanks for your comment. I think this was more of a formal exercise than anything. butters put up a thread about words that would be bad in erotic poems, twelveoone posted one, and I took it from there.
So, problem solving. Not necessarily erotic, though. But not a complete failure, either.
Thanks for your thoughts.
greenmountaineerabout 10 years agoAs always, Tzara, what appears to be light isn't. So many of your poems start with what seems like a gentle ride with the engine humming until you listen closer.
While not much is said about your love partner, I thought of a May-December liaison because of the allusions concerning your age and somewhow the diminutive "pointy little tongue" doesn't suggest some ol' hag is getting it on with you. Then again, it could be my inner dirty ol' man coming to the forefront once more.
