- Non-Erotic Poetry
- A Good Day
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It's going to be a good day
Says the field mouse
A discarded hunk of cheese
Spring sun warming
Cotton candy clouds drifting lazy
Hot Minnie leaving her scent
Not a hit of feline
It's going to be a good day
Says the field mouse
To scurry about in wonder
Licking dew off virgin grass
Young legs ready to test the hill
Explore the rodent roundabouts
Little breeze to stir the air
It's a good day to be a mouse
Until the talons gripped
And sent him flying
It's going to be a good day
Says the red-tailed hawk
- COMMENTS
todski28over 9 years agosomwtimes it is better to rush these pieces through if you want the pounce of the ending to work ,too much pacing gives away your ending, if you had maybe cut the whole second stanza I think it would have given a more abrupt ending to this, but as trix said you imagery was clear and concise, a 4 from mr
Trixareforkidsover 9 years agoWe have hawks that like the tree in our back yard.
Though they dine on frogs here.
Nice flow and imaging.
greenmountaineerover 9 years agoSick! But even I in my sugar-coated world can appreciate this and its ironic twist. Well done. Made me chuckle in a sick kinda way.
